It helps to be constructive, when we do. If we are sup-portive and affirming while communica-ting, that's even better. Ongoing prac-tice is necessary if this way of conver-sing is to be a part of our lives.
We want to be mindful that:
1. Often what we think of as expressing our feelings is really a jud-gment. For example: "I feel you are disrespectful." That's more a statement of what we believe that person has done.
It is not an expression of an emotion. It is not saying we are angry, confused or sad, which are feelings. It is a Faux Feeling. The above statement is a judgment. Which leads to:
3. Whenever a pronoun follows the word "feel", we express a thought. Same with the word "that." E.g., "I feel she is kind." Or, "I feel that life is exciting.""I'm uncomfortable, because whenever I talk, I"m unable to finish my sentences.and I have a need for open communication and equality: I let you finish whatever you say. Would it be possible for you to let me finish my comments, before replying?"
In neither case is an emotion expressed. We are stating an opinion, a form of judgment. When we judge, we are not the experience.
Presence of mind happens when we are confident that we can handle any circumstance we face. This reveals we have emotional resiliency.
For more information about nonviolent communication, here are two links: here and here.
How easy is it for you, being present, expressing your feelings?
Other material you might want to read related to this nonviolent commun-ication: Expressing Feelings, Part I click here
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