Monday, September 29

What Is Communicated Is Not Necessarily What Is Heard..... 9/29/14

      Thank you, for keeping me com-pany, dropping by. Today was demanding, but there isn't a more satisfying job than the one I have.   I am also happy providing this cozy place in cyberspace.

        But, I am worn out; almost not
writing tonight, that's how frazzled I am. Doing my innkeeper duties, I love.  I've done enough work that would  keep ten people busy.  A saving grace are the comments left, by you.  That is increasing.  I hope more of you do, it makes what I do here worthwhile.

      I look forward to hearing from guests from outside of the U.S.  Would it be possible for me to read comments from you?

      In a recent post I wrote:
"Frequently, I ask others what they've heard me say.  Reflecting back what I hear, helps. It removes confusion.  What is communicated may not be what is heard."
     This point reminds me of a story about a homeless man.  Walking through a tony neighborhood, he approached a wealthy woman watering her lawn.

      "Do you have any money for a guy down on his luck?" he asked.

      Said she, "I do not give money to strangers.  However, I have three buckets of flat green paint in the garage.  If you paint the porch in the back of my house, I will give you one hundred dollars."

     At the end of the day, all covered with paint, he returned to the lady of the house.  He said, "Ma'am, I did the best I could.  Every inch is covered with paint.  But, lady, that wasn't a Porsche.  It was a Mercedes."
My Gratitudes for Today: 
1.  I will sleep eight hours tonight.  Balance, is something I need to diligently maintain.  Especially true as I am emotionally, mentally and physically taxed as never before.
2.  New clients are coming out of the woodwork.  People are calling me, wanting my services, people I have never approached.  The word is getting out. I like the wholeness that happens when we operate out of our fullness, not our neediness.
3.  I like the comments I am getting from you. Thank you.  It means much to me.  For anyone who comments, I will reply.
4.  A brand-new guest to this inn, who discovered this place today, wrote a terrific, honest, at-length letter. I was humbled she felt free to open up about serious issues.
    I was happy hearing her discernment about someone she met online.  Someone who lied and was cheating on her.

    Her encouraging words for what I do here was one of many gifts from God I received today.  Being appreciated makes my day.
5.  I received support from a friend tonight. It heartened me, the expertise poured out, in an important and vulnerable area of my life.  Being nurtured, supported---receiving compassion from this person--- made me feel good.  After long day at work, my soul was massaged by caring, practical wisdom.
6.  I benefited from the kindness of another friend.  I am happy I let myself be vulnerable.  This person was supportive, caring for my happiness.  Tonight hearkened an ancient saying.
"Cast your bread upon the waters.  In many days it shall return to you." 
     That happened tonight.  Am I glad. And for that, I have An Attitude of Gratitude


Thumper said...


Your quote about friendship resonated with me. You are right, is not the length of a friendship that is most important, it is the friend that is there for you through thick and thin. It is the friend who shares authentically with you and who makes time to cultivate and nurture the relationship. I have had to learn this the hard way as I have been disappointed time and time again by my best friend of over 37 years. This friend's idea of connecting is only through social media, particularly Facebook, of which I am not a member. There is no authentic and real communication in this method. Recently, It texted her hello (which is the only way I can get a response form her). I was so excited when she said she would email me that night. At least I would get a letter from her which is better than nothing. Well, sadly, her idea of communicating was sending me pictures of her and her husband, and how fit they were and how many races they had won. There was no letter...I was hurt, but I guess deep down, not really surprised.

I am so blessed to have new, authentic friends who are not caught up in superficiality. Ones who make me laugh and who are there for me. Ones who value me. Ones that join me in Alanon Family Groups. But I'll be honest, it is hard to let go of a lifelong friendship!

Pablo said...

Dear Thumper,

Thank you for your heart-felt comments. It sounds like you are disappointed and sad because the connecting you thought you would have with your friend didn't happen.

How can you take care of yourself, when facing letdowns?

I am glad hearing Al-Anon Family Groups is working for you.

One fact I have had to accept is that friendships sometimes evolve, not always for the better. I am sorry your friend of 37 years is unable to meet your need for support and understanding. It is good hearing Al-Anon Family fellowship is helping to fill some of the void in what was once a strong friendship.

Quotes from the Posts

"I'm mindful that our thoughts affect the words we use, our words influence our actions, our actions shape our character and our character determines our destiny."

From "My Character Determines My Destiny." To read it, please click here.

"Progress not perfection, is better than no progress at all, especially when we're trying to rid ourselves from unwelcome dragons that dwell within the closets of our soul."

From, "Still Learning" which, within four days, became the most popular post
written. To read it, please click here.

"Worry does not empty tomorrow of its trouble, but it does empty today of its strength"
From the post: "Life Is Not a Correspondence Program." Click here to read it.

"Even though we cannot control our circumstances, we can control how we choose to respond to them."

From, "Handling Stress and Dealing With an Emotional Bully."Click here to read this post.

"Nope, being busy isn't exciting. Boring is good. Because boring is not boring; boring is being healthy, living a balanced life that has serenity"

From: "Do You Know What It Means If You Are Too Busy?" For more, please click here.