Eighth Characteristic that Prevents Having A Healthy Relationship..... .................. 9/15/14

At this age it is okay, wearing a cape.  Any
 older, it isn't advised to be the constant rescuer. 

     We have looked at factors that make us choose unhealthy relationships. Next is number eight:

Rescuing:

     When our issue is rescuing, our need to help others becomes our fix. We binge on assisting others as an alcohol-ic binges on drink-ing. The problem with this type of relationship is a  lack of balance.  

     There will be people who want us to be available at all times.  That is their issue, not ours.  Sometimes when ending a conversation, they may take offense, wanting to continue even though we may have already spoken at length. 

       Taking care of ourselves is addressing our needs and feelings.  We will not live in the margin of our lives.  We recognize the need for reci-procity and fairness when relating.  

       Just as we want to be sensitive towards others, we want them to be aware of our needs and feelings, too.

       If we constantly give, we will become emotionally bankrupt.  We will have nothing to offer.  We will be depleted, unable to be of any use.  

      What allows us to stop serving constantly is detach-ing with love.  We allow the vulnerable to experience their reality.  They must responsi-ble for themselves. 

       It is in their best interest, coping with life's thorny issues.  There are lessons learned when we process life's difficulties.  We must remember there is only one God and we are not Him.  This fact is critical for maintaining our sanity. 

    There are times when we need to step away.  It is the most important thing we can do.  We are helping others to become individuals, which is preferred to infantilizing. 

    If we are not careful, needy people will deplete our energy.  Our emo-tional and physical love banks will go dry.  Unchecked, constantly needy people become unsafe.  

   

    God wants us to enjoy life, not neglec-ting ourselves.

    Usually, we learn rescuing early in life.  Frequently we related with others who were needy.  Life improves when it is balanced.  It isn't our obligation to reme-dy all the problems others have.

    We get what we tolerate.  We want to help others become problem solvers.  It is best to move from a rescuer to a coach. 

    That is better than creating in them a sense of entitlement or fostering their dependence upon us---that we will al-ways bail them out.

How About You? 
Who do you need to stop rescuing?