Drinking Rest Like a Camel, Stung by a Queenship Seeking Bee, an Enjoyable Conversation with a Lovely Lass and The Benefits of Emotional Armor

I drank in my rest like these guys, when they go for water.

         Hi,

Today, I continued recuperating from the holidays.  Two down, one  more this weekend. I'm drinking rest like a camel downs water.  Quite a few visitors  dropped by the inn today----over seven hundred sallied through its door.

      The evening was interesting, disappointing and fantastic.  How's that?  Well, here's what made it that way.

Trashed In Front of Friends

      I met with friends tonight. Someone there has it out for me.  She sat across from me.  While she was talking to the group, out of the blue, she says to me, "do you think something is funny?"   I'm glad I responded and didn't react. I'll work with others addressing this situation.  Update: the group had a meeting about her behavior and someone went to her house and told her she needed to apologize to the group, if she wants to return. 

       I think she's tried intimidating me. Don't you? (I'm being playful, folks.) Well, the principles highlighted below in blue allow me to maintain serenity and joy, even when they are tested. 

     Over the past year she has consistently been oppositional towards whatever I say.  It's a good thing I only see her when with friends.  I'm glad she not my wife or mother.  Whew!  Am I glad.

     If  you know me, you'd be aware that I normally smile, I'm a happy guy.  I'm sure most of you have figured that out.  Because of my demeanor, she thought I considered her comments as funny.

     Wow.  Gosh.  Golly.  We never know what's going on within another.  We don't have telepathy.  Better, it would have been, if she had found out why I was smiling, before lashing out.  It's too bad she confronted me, instead of  responding, in front of fourteen others.

  One principle that's good during a time like tonight: 

I don't allow others to define who I am or determine my moods.

                       I've written about this precept in these parts, several times. Click here for more info.

     Among tonight's friends I'm respected.  It looks like this woman wants to be the queen bee in that gathering.  Routinely, she puts me down.

     When facing confrontation, the following gives me perspective, helping me keep my emotions intact:

"I block my well-being every time I base my self-worth on what I do or what others think of me."

      So many people love me that I don't let a fly in the ointment of a difficult relationship to trouble me.

       We get what we tolerate. 
(I prefer relating with people who are courteous and respectful)

          We train people how to treat us. 

                (I don't accept unacceptable behavior.)

       If we feel like a doormat, we need to get up off the floor.
                                    (If I don't take care of myself, others usually won't)
 
      That was the interesting, but disappointing part of tonight.

The Best Part of the Evening

      There was a young lady among tonight's crowd.  After the event, she greeted me.  I had not been around the social circles we share.  She noticed.  I asked her if  she'd like to go out for coffee. We walked five blocks to a restaurant and had dinner.

      The conversation was superb. At several points in it, she cried, good tears.  I told her it was okay----crying releases toxins.  I have to admit my eyes watered, too.

      Our conversation was phenomenal, dinner lasted two and a half hours.  Afterwards, the five block walk back to our cars was terrific, too.  The whole way, we chatted.  It was then that she said she didn't like how I was trashed, earlier, when we were with the group.  I agree.  Being treated that way made it an unsafe meeting.

"Maturity is moving from a hard heart and a thin skin to having a soft heart and a thick skin."  Chuck Swindoll

      I'm thankful for time invested in my growth.  It provides me with characterological armor, when emotionally assaulted.  It helps remembering  that others, due to their past pain, can be diseased with problems that make them less than their best. I don't take their actions personally. Their behavior is more of a statement about them, not me. 

     Arriving at her car, I thanked her for the evening.  Oh, yeah, she gave me her telephone number.  So, how was your Wednesday?

Related Posts: 

1. Responding Not Reacting

2. Dealing With An Emotional Bully

3. Maintaining a Solid Stance

4. Using Emotional Aikido When Relating to Others