Wednesday, December 14

Overcoming Disappointment, Looking at My Options .....................12/14/11

Time is: too slow for those who wait; too swift for those who fear; too long for those who grieve; too short for those who rejoice; but for those who love...time is eternity!  Jean-Pierre de Crussade  Image: "Lakeside Shoreline" by Tim Blessed. Copyrighted photo.
     Good evening,

Dealing with disappointment I'll get to, in a minute, after sharing my gratitudes. But, first, how goes it, for you?  I just got home after spending the evening with friends. 'Tis great, being in an environment of acceptance, affection and appreciation.

My Gratitudes for Tonight: 

1. A session with a client today went well. It's satisfying when that happens, it's a gift of positivity. We discussed resentment, and it's antidote, great topics.

2. I received gifts today. Totally unexpected. Gosh. I'm touched when showered with gratitude from others. I'm humbled by the enveloping love of God when it becomes palpable.

3. I met with someone. It was a rich time: in-depth, genuine conversations with good friends can't be beat. Such moments nurture and strengthen me for the vicissitudes of life.

4. I visited with a son tonight.

       It's inspiring, seeing his discernment grow. He's coming into his own, his values are deepening. He admitted that years ago, while a teen, his values weren't the best. Wasn't that true for all of us?

       I know it was for me. Don't get me wrong. He was a wonderful son, then.  However, it's heartening hearing him look at his past, admitting improvements he needed to make regarding them. Wow.

       I was quiet as he opened up. Getting out of the way, when God is at work within another, seemed the best response. I'm glad he was comfortable opening up. I'm a fortunate man.

  Handling Disappointment, Sanely

     Today, with a group of people, we discussed disappointment. The tenor of the conversation was whining in nature; several spoke of the let downs they encountered. I shared what I do. I said I enjoy more tranquility and sanity, staying in the solution, even when enduring negative moments with others.  I mentioned the adage: 
"An expectation is a resentment waiting to happen."
     When let I'm let down, I shared it's my responsibility dealing with it.  I don't wag my finger at the source of my ire, telling him, "if you don't change, I'm going to be angry, resentful, hurt, etc."  Doing that surrenders my happiness over to that individual. It's now contingent upon their behavior, what they do next.

        The problem is that they may not have the consciousness to handle the issue, nor the ability.  No, I deal with with what troubles me.  It's MY responsibility. Yep, mine.  I look at the options that allow me to meet my needs.

         Pursuing my needs in this way provides me with some semblance of order.  I do have some control over what I choose. Even here, however, I look to God for guidance.

          I'm not God. I don't have control over others, or their choices, even when they irk me.  I wouldn't want to.  I have enough difficulty making my life manageable, as it is.

How About You? 
What helps you to deal with disappointment?


Anonymous said...

I am grateful for the innkeeper who has shown me tools to gain recovery over the past 5 years.
I have Hope for Today because of the work I have been doing on myself. Yes meeeeeeee. What a novel thought, there is a me starting to emerge from under the disappointments of the past.
Looking at my options is a change for me from always seeing what was best for the other guy. And I mean guy. My father was an alcoholoic and I grew up in a less than favorable environment for a teenage girl. I learned to deal with his problem instead of looking out for myself. This carried on into my adult life and reoccured in my relationship with men.
Not that you need the story, that is exactly what it is.
I am learning to move beyond the many disappointments by working to uncover the child within. She is growing up and now better able to deal with the adult world. It has taken time to figure out the past in order to see my areas I need growth in. But I'm grateful for the power of a loving God who has taken the little girl by the hand and is walking through the next chapter of my life with me.
I am grateful for God who is guiding me gently by his loving care into a woman who seeks after His heart and his will for my life.
I am also grateful for the innkeeper who is doing God's work and modeling by his example.

Paul NorthernCal said...

Thanks for your kind words.

I'm glad you're finding yourself beneath the rubble of many disappointments in your past.

We are the only person who can make our welfare our number one priority. Considering your options is one way of doing so.

When the past drips into the present, it's no longer the past. It is an issue that needs addressing. Good for you, that you're doing so!

Keep us informed. You can use a pseudonym, if you want. It would help us track your progress.

Wishing you the best

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From "My Character Determines My Destiny." To read it, please click here.

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From, "Still Learning" which, within four days, became the most popular post
written. To read it, please click here.

"Worry does not empty tomorrow of its trouble, but it does empty today of its strength"
From the post: "Life Is Not a Correspondence Program." Click here to read it.

"Even though we cannot control our circumstances, we can control how we choose to respond to them."

From, "Handling Stress and Dealing With an Emotional Bully."Click here to read this post.

"Nope, being busy isn't exciting. Boring is good. Because boring is not boring; boring is being healthy, living a balanced life that has serenity"

From: "Do You Know What It Means If You Are Too Busy?" For more, please click here.