Saturday, February 1

Patience: The Forgotten Virtue of Urban Society. Recapping the Past Week: Highs and Lows 2/1/14

       Yes, it's that time.  At the end of the week I ask guests of The Attitude of Gratitude Inn to share their high and low points, the best and not so good, that happened
during the past seven days. Here are mine:

High Points: 
1. I had two conversations with someone dear to me.  They exceeded any other conversations I have had in six months, that is how unusual they were.  And the outcome of our talks was the best I could have dreamed for.
2.  I am writing.  A lot.  It is healthy for my soul.  Over the last two months, I applied my hand to poetry, something I once did years ago.  Recently, with friends, I've unveiled it.  The results were encouraging---they like it, wishing to do the same.

Patience's Virtue
      I'm happy seeing the results of being authentic, yet, gently and patiently so.  Patience is a virtue I am developing, nurturing.  Relishing the peace that flourishes when I do, encourages my yielding to its ways.  The grace of this unassuming character quality adds comforting rhythm to my life and those I relate with, when I am a conduit of its beauty.

     It is contrary to typical urban life.  Patience allows me to be an instrument of peace, contributing to the sanity and serenity we seek.
3.  I'm thankful for recovery. It allows me to slow down, not react. It allows me to exercise and and enjoy the fruit of patience.

The Nurturing Power of Patience

     Those I hang out with are patient.  I am grateful.  Thriving takes place when I live in such an environment.

     I have many faults.  It is nice knowing others love me enough to bear with me, giving me room to grow. Without patience, I can't.

     Oh yeah, I have practiced, over the past ten years, exercising patience towards myself.  It feels good and I enjoy greater happiness as a result.
"Condemning my imperfections has never enhanced my appreciation of life nor helped me to love myself more."         Courage to Change, p 19
See this to know more about that. And this post about cowboy boots is related to this subject, too.

4. Thank God, I no longer listen to the Critical Parent that once dominated my soul.

5.  I am overjoyed with an Al-Anon Family Group (AFG) meeting in Alameda I attend on Wednesdays.  Those attending are loving, kind, authentic, stay in the solution, are considerate, do not yield to gossip and have excellent boundaries----living by the Steps and Traditions of AFG.  It is Al-Anon Family Group (not to be mistaken for Alcoholics Anonymous) literature focused. This is unlike a meeting I attended in the same city that took a turn for the worse and now is decimated. Those who once attended have left, not wanting its toxicity.

6.  Several catastrophes struck me over the past three weeks.  I'm none the worse because of them.  Staying in the solution, not yielding to panic or emotions that would displace my sanity has been a form of spiritual weight lifting: I have been placing principles above the vulnerable parts of my personality.
7.  My practice is flourishing.  I thank God for opportunities to serve, helping others transcend trauma, cultivate their inner voice and celebrate the great big life reserved for them.

Low Points: 

1.  I need to sleep better.  (Innkeeper's note: I slept eight-and-a-half hours Saturday night. Ya ay!)
2.  I want to spend more time with my family.
3.  I'm not able to drive my car yet.  There is a problem due to not driving it in two years. It's easily fixable, it just will take a bit of time.

How About You? 
What are your highs and lows for the past week?  I'd love hearing from you, especially those who know me personally.  Yes, you. 


Carl H said...

Dear Innkeeper,

My Highs for the week were;

1. A loving meeting with friends on Wednesday night.

2. Perspective and clarity regarding a troubling and traumatic outburst from my primary domestic qualifier.

3. The inspiration to "empty out" my thoughts and concerns in a late-night email to my mentor.

4. Subsequent quality time to process the trauma over cider and coffee, staying in the solution, and identifying tools to use in an action plan.

5. Catching inspiring bits and pieces of the college football "We Are Marshall" on TV. A true story of tragedy to triumph, especially on the eve of the Superbowl.

6. Being kind and gentle toward myself with rest/naps as needed.

My Lows for the week were;

1. The angry, traumatic outburst referenced above, on Monday.

2. Sadness, confusion, disappointment and a guarding of the heart around this.

3. Recurring sense of being drained emotionally; exhausted and the subsequent need to rest/nap often.

Pablo said...

Dear Carl,

How are you doing, now, that you have tended to yourself? What is the difference you notice, between how you approach problems now, compared to before you were in recovery from codependency?

What can you do more of, when you encounter someone's anger? What are some ways you can detach, when you are caught in the maelstrom of negative feelings of another, especially that of a loved one?

Be sure to discharge the toxicity you've encountered by exercising, connecting with friends---which sounds like you are doing on Wednesdays---and finding ways to enjoy humor. Each of these antidotes produce the chemicals that allow us to feel good.

Quotes from the Posts

"I'm mindful that our thoughts affect the words we use, our words influence our actions, our actions shape our character and our character determines our destiny."

From "My Character Determines My Destiny." To read it, please click here.

"Progress not perfection, is better than no progress at all, especially when we're trying to rid ourselves from unwelcome dragons that dwell within the closets of our soul."

From, "Still Learning" which, within four days, became the most popular post
written. To read it, please click here.

"Worry does not empty tomorrow of its trouble, but it does empty today of its strength"
From the post: "Life Is Not a Correspondence Program." Click here to read it.

"Even though we cannot control our circumstances, we can control how we choose to respond to them."

From, "Handling Stress and Dealing With an Emotional Bully."Click here to read this post.

"Nope, being busy isn't exciting. Boring is good. Because boring is not boring; boring is being healthy, living a balanced life that has serenity"

From: "Do You Know What It Means If You Are Too Busy?" For more, please click here.