Monday, January 30

The Benefits of Being Gentle Towards Ourselves 1/30/12

“The six most important words: 'I admit I made a 
mistake.'   The five most important words:  'You
did good job.' The four most important words: 
'What is your opinion?' The three most impor-
tant words: 'If you please.' The two most
 important words: 'Thank You.'  The one 
most important word: 'We.' The least
 important word: 'I.' ”   
Author Unknown
Image: The California coast: Point Reyes
       We can be thankful for difficult times. They allow us to practice pa-tience. Especially towards ourselves.

       Many of us were driven in our younger years.

       Frequently, our drive was prompt-ed by insecurities. We wanted approval. Now, we no longer need to be a circus dog, jumping through hoops of achievement to impress others.

        With recovery, we enjoy peace of mind.

        We know how to draw healthier people into our lives. Because we do, we experience unconditional love from others who are emotion-ally healthy.  We learn that we are lovable, simply for being ourselves.

       This self-knowledge removes the negative self-talk and emotional fragility that once defined us.  Hurray!

        When aware of areas needing growth, we show acceptance and gentleness towards the-less-than-best parts of who we are.  Our true ideal self is compassionate. If our image of our ideal self is tyrannical, it is a counterfeit.  Such a self only motivates us to hide those areas needing growth.

        Kindness towards these vulnerable areas makes it more likely these darker areas of our selves can be replaced with new and better qualities.

        We want to review the past month, six months, or year.   Appre-ciating the progress we've made contributes towards having an Attitude of Gratitude. Being patient towards areas needing growth is more constructive than kicking ourselves.

        Gentle self-acceptance makes healing and transformation more likely.  Harshness towards our warty selves, often makes these areas retreat and hide.  When that happens, there's no chance for improvement.

       Being gracious towards ourselves has these benefits, too:

1. We're happier.
2. Depression ceases; condemning self becomes less frequent.
"Condemning my imper-fections has never en-hanced my appreciation of life nor helped me to love myself more."  
               Courage to Change, page 19. 
3. As we become gentler towards ourselves, we're softer, kinder, towards others.  It's hard giving what we have not received.
                The Innkeeper

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Quotes from the Posts

"I'm mindful that our thoughts affect the words we use, our words influence our actions, our actions shape our character and our character determines our destiny."

From "My Character Determines My Destiny." To read it, please click here.

"Progress not perfection, is better than no progress at all, especially when we're trying to rid ourselves from unwelcome dragons that dwell within the closets of our soul."

From, "Still Learning" which, within four days, became the most popular post
written. To read it, please click here.

"Worry does not empty tomorrow of its trouble, but it does empty today of its strength"
From the post: "Life Is Not a Correspondence Program." Click here to read it.

"Even though we cannot control our circumstances, we can control how we choose to respond to them."

From, "Handling Stress and Dealing With an Emotional Bully."Click here to read this post.

"Nope, being busy isn't exciting. Boring is good. Because boring is not boring; boring is being healthy, living a balanced life that has serenity"

From: "Do You Know What It Means If You Are Too Busy?" For more, please click here.