Success and Happiness: Going Beyond The Default Mode of Passivity ..............................3/13/12

Such as it was, last year. 

        I'll get to discussing success and happiness in just a minute. First, I want to recognize something special. I'm celebrating life. Rejoicing in births is good for my soul. They make me happy.  I don't let the rational part of me overcome my need for nurturing my feelings or soul. (Our cognitive selves never heal our emotional or mental pain.)
The Birth of This Gratitude Journal
        I am happy.
       This is the very moment when the search lights announced the arrival of this inn to cyberspace. The door to this cozy inn opened at 10:20 p.m., on March 13th of last year. (Does it tell you a little about me, that I posted this to the minute of the birth of this place?)
      So many keys have flowed beneath my fingers since then, 307 posts.  Nearly sixty-six thousand views/hits to this place from visitors from all five continents, 8,700 unique visitors since December, alone. Wow.  More importantly, literally thousands of gratitudes have been proclaimed and are now invested into
this home of positivity and praise.
The Value of Gratitude
       I don't know if you are aware of this fact, but research reveals that chemical changes occur within our bodies---all for the better---when we think just one positive thought. Can you imagine the enormous amount of positivity dispensed into the universe, because of this place??
       Now, take it one step closer. Were you aware of how much you are taking care of yourself, by dropping by? Hey, that's one more gratitude you have for today.
      Thankfulness is an amazing antidote to depression. Optimism can be learned, it's not a matter of being born with this attribute. That's a good thing, because research now indicates that those who are happier live healthier, longer lives and have more significant, emotionally healthy friends.
      I've grown since the first post placed here, in Blogger. I've learned much and have had a tremendous ride in the intervening 12 months. There's more clarity about what I feel and think about regarding the world and life.
     Thanks for joining me. We have created a gratitude journal, right here, in the blogosphere. I've been encouraged, challenged, shared happy moments with you and celebrated your gratitudes, as you have joined me in celebrating mine.
      I'm enjoying getting to know you. It makes what I do here worthwhile.
Gratitudes For Today:

1.  I'm thankful for love. What would we do without it?
2.  I will be working with my youngest son tomorrow. I look forward to us sharing time together and connecting.
3.  I rode my bike yesterday for 10 miles. I'm glad I did. Today, it rained all day. I'm glad I took action last night, that I didn't dither and in doing so I invested in my well-being. I also reduced the stress swirling within me.
God, Not Gadgets
Source for Serenity
       Fourthly, I'm happy that God is my source for provision, tranquility and sanity.
       It's not my job, medications or distracting myself with all the electronic gadgets that today's society throws at me, telling me I need them. I appreciate Apple products. Smart phones are convenient and  ipods can add musical pleasure to an otherwise dreary day.  FaceBook can be helpful, connecting us with others.
      But, being consumed by gadgets, cyber friends,video games and internet media are not the source of my joy or serenity. I'm not into cyber or digital addiction. Enough is enough. Sorry, modern day society, I'm not in agreement with you. I see things differently.
       God is the one who provides for my need for solace, joy, peace and emotional well being. Time alone to meditate, pray, to exercise solitude, silence and simplicity contributes to my spiritual, mental and emotional health. Getting away from the demands of the day without gadgets, including the TV and radio allows me to enjoy perspective. Deep breathing helps, unless you are on the phone and there's a woman on the other end.  All of the above in this paragraph allow me to live.

What man should fear is not death. What man should fear is never beginning to live. 

          Marcus Aurelius, Roman Emperor and Stoic philosopher
I fear with the plethora of distractions that many of us face every moment of the day, that we easily can be living a living death.
The Road Less Traveled
The Source for Success

   Fifth, I appreciate exercising self-discipline. I'm mindful of the quote that:

Success depends not merely in how well we do the things we enjoy, but in how conscientiously we perform those duties that we don't. 

                   John Maxwell, Developing the Leader Within You
Option A
     There are unpleasant tasks needing completion, taxes to do (did I just repeat myself?) and a set of weights (my gym) that are calling me.
      If I avoid what needs doing, there's pain: the dragons of regret and self-condemnation raise their heads and consume my serenity and joy.  For many, it gets even worse. Self-loathing, regret and depression will consume our mind. Viscerally we feel a cold sweat or sense danger lurking within. And why?? Because we are not doing what we need to be doing.  Emotionally, we expect the other shoe to drop, whatever that means.
      Relationally, if we avoid dealing with an unpleasant or dangerous person, it can lead to being abused, or death because of this person. If not physically, we become emotionally dead. This type of death doesn't mean we won't feel feelings. Emotional death includes fear, anxiety, sadness, anger, resentment, emptiness and depression. All of these feelings are not what is meant when we talk about "really living."
      So, that's Option A. Not so appealing, when looked at in this way.
      One secret about Option A that Option A never tells us.  It's our default mode if we aren't in recovery, if we haven't worked through the dark and grime-filled areas in our lives. Frequently, if we opt for Option A we're back to reacting like we did when we were kids. We may feel powerless and fearful. Doesn't sound like the best course of action, does it?
       It isn't.
       This option brings self-loathing, pain and self-sabotaging.
Option B
      Then there's Option B. I do what has to be done.
This option is also painful. I'm not interested in deceiving you. Often, it's arduous, requiring significant effort. However, this option leads to growth, progress and recovery.
      When I find myself at a fork in the road of life and these two options appear (and this often happens daily), I'll opt for the one that offers growth, recovery, hope and healing. Wouldn't you? This choice allows me to have more opportunities for an Attitude of Gratitude.

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6. Clarity, I'm grateful for enjoying and knowing it. Removing clutter and organizing my life allows me to enjoy life fully. It feeds my inner adult.  I'm taking care of myself.  I'll be working on several projects tomorrow.

7. I corresponded with several people today. I loved their letters---they responded right away. Such is the beauty of the internet and e-mail.
8. Others do not to determine my moods nor define who I am. I appreciate freedom from being in a one-down position.
9. I'm totally thrilled to have a highly developed sense of discernment.  Even so, if I'm not careful, I get sucked into relationships that are unhealthy for me. Without recovery I have the twin disease of being addicted to unhealthy relationships and losing my life of centeredness. I can allow others to trigger me, if I don't stay in the moment, if I react instead of responding.
10  I don't base my self-esteem on what I do or what others think of me.  It's liberating having relationships with others who value me for who I am, warts and all.  It's great not living life alone, I'm surrounded by a community of loved one. I love and am loved. I started my gratitudes with this subject and shall end with it.

What about you?

1. Do you have any reflections regarding this inn, on this anniversary day?
2. How has this inn encouraged you?
3. What do you do to overcome the distractions of electronic gadgets, including the laptop, smart phones and the internet?
4. What helps you to overcome passivity and opt for Option B, doing the unpleasant task?
5. In what way have you grown in the past month? It would be great hearing your stories.