Monday, March 12

Our Vision: Why We Visit This Place

     After my reply to Syd's comment, in my last post, I remembered writing this. I'm bumping it up AND I'm going to make it a separate page featured in this inn. It's good remembering the reason why we visit this place.

Here's the post, originally posted 4/15/11.

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Welcome
          Can you think of a better way of going through your week than considering your gratitudes? Neither can I.  Know that this place is here to encourage you. Please have a seat. Relax from the pressures of your world. Here you'll find hope, and support for an optimistic, staying-in-the-solution week. 

      Dwelling on life's complications only makes them loom large and more disturbing.  Where's the
growth in that? Exactly. Progress doesn't occur when we live in isolation. we''re meant for healthy affirming relationships. You'll find that here. You sign the registry to this inn by posting your gratitudes. This room exists to help you as you journey towards your goals.
      Please, pause from persistent problems and petitions for your attention. You deserve investing in yourself.  Slow down and breathe. Don't worry about your allergies---this is a dust-free room.  As you see, we're enjoying amazing weather, it'll get up to 74 degrees today.  There's a slight breeze. Let me know if you need a sweater.  Clear your thoughts.  Would you like to join us and share three gratitudes?  You'll benefit in doing so. 
       
Keep in mind:
All happy people are grateful. Ungrateful people cannot be happy. We tend to think that being unhappy leads people to complain, but it is truer to say that complaining leads people to becoming unhappy.
There is much less envy of the rich by the poor than there is of the happy by the unhappy; of those who believe by those who don't believe. 
                    Dennis Praetner 
                            
          Silent gratitude isn't much use to anyone.        
                                     Gladys Bronwyn Stern 
Gratitude is our most direct line to God and the angels.  If we take the time, no matter how crazy and troubled we feel, we can find something to be thankful for.       Terry Lynn Taylor
Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is
           like wrapping a present and not giving it.  
                                  William Arthur Ward

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              What is an Attitude? 
          It is the 'advance man' of our true selves.  
          Its roots are inward but its fruit is outward. 
          It is our best friend or our worst enemy. 
          It is more honest and more consistent than  
          our words.  
          It is an outwards look based on past 
          experiences.  
          It is a thing which draws people to us or  
          repels them.  
          It is a never content until it is expressed.  
          It is the librarian of our past.  
          It is the speaker of our present. 
          It is the prophet of our future.
                     John Maxwell, The Winning Attitude


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       Again, I invite you to share three things for which you're grateful.  You'll be glad as you do. 
"As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he."  
      We carry our attitudes with us wherever we go.  Some we absorbed in childhood. And, there are also unhealthy ideals. 
       Ones like not discussing what troubles us by keeping a stiff upper lip. Or that we should yield to others, conceding our values, allowing others to control our lives.  
       These ideals are false---we want to replace them with principles that add to our personal strength, growth, tranquility, hope and joy. Healthier principles like, "we get what we tolerate," or "we train people how to treat us, " are better ones to have resonating within the halls of our mind and spirit. They allow us to have relational sanity.
      Another encouraging maxim: "it is never too late to start doing what is right." helps us overcome the despair we experience when we yield to fear, or the "Bad Parent" voice that condemns us. When we do, self-sabotage and self-loathing easily occurs.      
      Knowing that maturity is "moving from having a hard heart and a thin skin to having a soft heart and a thick skin"  reminds us the value of lovingly detaching from others and not allowing others to trigger us. We want to be responsive to, but are not responsible for, the feelings of others.
     The statement, "when we need the applause of others to feel good about ourselves we've given them power over us"  helps us keep perspective. Freedom from being in a one-down position with others certainly is cause for a grateful attitude.
     Once we became eighteen, we were equals with any adult, including our parents and older siblings. It's up to us whether we yield our power to others. Choosing to stand in the strength of healthy principles, integrity and autonomy does wonders to our self-esteem and increases our joy. We are no longer helpless, hopeless victims. 
     Knowing our value does not depend on what we do or what others think of us prevents us from surrendering big chunks of ourselves in order to please. We don't need to do that to have a healthy relationship. In fact, if we find ourselves doing that, we can be assured that that relationship isn't a good one.  No relationship is worth doing that.  
     I know, from personal experience. 
     Having An Attitude of Gratitude, requires reconsidering the validity of many ideals we hold. (For more about that, please click here.) Many are not inerrant.  As adults, we decide which attitudes will rent in the territory of our minds. Hopefully they'll be healthy, positive thoughts. You'll find plenty of them in this inn of praise and thanksgiving. Here's wishing you a Winning Attitude week. 
       How about you? 
1.What are  thoughts, actions or  quotes that encourage you? 
2. "Where there is no vision the people perish."   What is your vision? What do you want to be? As I've shared before, the Ancient Greeks had a saying: 
"If you aim at nothing, that's exactly what you'll get."
3. How does your vision help you in having an Attitude of Gratitude? 
I'd love hearing your answers.

2 comments:

Syd said...

I am being the unmasked me. The person who is authentic and real, not trying to be what others want me to be. That's enough.

Pablo said...

Syd,

Good seeing you back.

I agree with you. Authenticity is key.(It is as important as my autonomy.) I can't relate with others if there isn't authenticity in our relationship. I need sincerity in order to trust another.

Kudos to you, Syd. Being unvarnished allows you a lot of freedom in your relationships with others.

It must feel good appreciating and respecting your true self.

Quotes from the Posts

"I'm mindful that our thoughts affect the words we use, our words influence our actions, our actions shape our character and our character determines our destiny."

From "My Character Determines My Destiny." To read it, please click here.

"Progress not perfection, is better than no progress at all, especially when we're trying to rid ourselves from unwelcome dragons that dwell within the closets of our soul."

From, "Still Learning" which, within four days, became the most popular post
written. To read it, please click here.

"Worry does not empty tomorrow of its trouble, but it does empty today of its strength"
From the post: "Life Is Not a Correspondence Program." Click here to read it.

"Even though we cannot control our circumstances, we can control how we choose to respond to them."

From, "Handling Stress and Dealing With an Emotional Bully."Click here to read this post.

"Nope, being busy isn't exciting. Boring is good. Because boring is not boring; boring is being healthy, living a balanced life that has serenity"

From: "Do You Know What It Means If You Are Too Busy?" For more, please click here.

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