Saturday, November 9

The Brightening Power of Joy In a Darkened World, Including The Property of Our Mind ...........11/9/13

Joy is the bright spot within our mind when we're surrounded by the darkened world
 of difficulties. It is attitudinal, not externally based upon circumstances.    See below. 
My Gratitudes for Today:
Gratitude for Negative People

1.  For enjoying peace, even when relating with difficult, moody, gloomy people, and I'm not talking about clients.  Unhappy others---the Eeyores of my life---highlight the benefits of
being internally referented. These negative people (see about emotional vampires) are a tremendous daily source for measuring the progress of my emotional well-being, which is good and constant.  The equanimity I know is not triggered by the feelings and reactions of others.

     My life is serene because I know that my feelings are my property. The feelings of others is theirs.  I delight in the peace, tranquility and internal harmony I have because I am responsive to, but not responsible for the feelings of others, the result of having healthy boundaries.

2.  For the coolness of fall. The nippy weather invigorates me, keeping me cool when my metabolism gets revved up while cycling.
3.  For shorter days. Returning home from work, the early nights, the results of Daylight Savings Time, prompt moments snuggled in a comfortable chair, reading.  I don't watch TV.  I'm thankful for the dendrites I fire up when my mind exercises its imagination: I'm forestalling dementia, keeping by noggin active.
4.  The brilliant splash of colors as leaves glow yellow, red, light green and orange before trekking their way to the ground below.  During the day, they greet me while cycling through the tree-lined, Victorian-housed streets of my adopted town, Alameda.
5.  For jazz.  I'll listen to plenty of it Saturday night.  I'll be with friends, celebrating a birthday at the Fairmont Hotel.  Can't wait.  It's one of my favorite things to do.
6.  For the emotional stability I enjoy when placing principles above my personality and the emotional constancy I have because of my network of friends, my Balcony People.
7.  For the joy of working with a young client this evening, someone younger than eleven.  It allowed me to use my creativity, sensitivity and a different portion of my vocabulary.
8.  For the amazing power that prayer provides.  Connecting with God is a privilege.  Resting before him, laying my burdens at His feet allows me to breathe more easily.

The Key to an Upbeat Life: Joy
It's Much Better Than Happiness

      I appreciate the mindfulness I have when others disappoint.  It's my job dealing with it, not theirs.  This fact allows me to stay in the solution, instead of making myself a victim, brooding or becoming miserable.  Life is too beautiful to allow the unfortunate behavior of others to affect me negatively.

     In today's society, happiness is oversold----given more value than it deserves.  It's usually externally related: considered the result of having the right mate, car, clothes, job, house, amount of money in the bank, you get the idea.

    Joy isn't.  I prefer it.  It's purely the result of where we choose to place our thoughts.
Finally, whatever is truewhatever is worthy of respect, whatever is justwhatever is purewhatever is lovelywhatever is commendableif something is excellent or praiseworthythink about these things.  And what you learned and received and heard and saw in medo these thingsAnd the God of peace will be with you.    Philipians 4: 8-9
       Gratitude Nine: I'm happy that no one can make me happy, sad, angry or any other feeling without my giving them permission to do so.  Better, I'm overjoyed that, as an old song says, "This joy that I have, the world didn't give it and the world can't take it away."

How About You?
What are your gratitudes for today?


Carl H said...

Dear Innkeeper,

After spending over an hour carefully crafting and posting 7 or 8 Gratitudes, I lost them all when I tried to navigate Google's email/password remembering process! Oh well, they will be much briefer this time around! I know you can relate to these kinds of IT/High Tech challenges. I guess God wants me to develop patience,(and my memory bank!) we go again! On this now Sunday morning, I am grateful for...

1. Awareness, acceptance and action,re; the above.

2. An over-the-phone, care-giver solution for my Mom, so she could be at ease, while I was en-route to her home this morning.

3. A generous nap at dusk, after a busy, on-the-go, driving hither and yon, weekend (so-called) day-off.

4. Finding a kitchen sink full of dirty dishes, realizing its my turn, and the joy of embracing an unexpected opportunity for service, when I can see it for what it really is!

5. The theraputic benefits of cleaning a granite, kitchen counter top with Windex and paper towel, as this chilly Saturday night wanes.

6. A lovely, evening chat with my now, one-armed Polish wife! She fell on Monday and fractured her elbow in two places - now in a cast. We came up with some wonderful solutions for some of our sons issues.

7. Realizing through this conversation the importance of proactively seeking out fellowship; community with friends this week. That through a quality chat over coffee, a walk, a bike ride, a movie, etc., many of my unmet needs can be met. And, that through working on building "braided relationships" and bonding, I will be able to discover greater emotional constancy.

8. That my wife and I will be able to road-trip to Santa Barbara, Claremont and Los Angeles this weekend, to reconnect with family and friends.

9. That on this trip we will be able to return some of our former daughter-in-laws things to her, via her parents, and enjoy a closure lunch meeting with them.

Vanessa Higgins said...

I am happy that I could be my authentic self on my date last night. I really don't think my date appreciated it in a way that I would have hoped. But I was myself - full of love and joy - and that matters to me.

I am grateful for not sitting alone last night. I did a drive-by to visit a girlfriend in another town. My date cancelled last minute which was beyond not thoughtful and I was all dressed up. We shared conversation, tea, and puppy snuggles. It lifted my heart.

I am a little sad today. I miss my car - an inanimate object. It treated me so well and i just traded it in for a new model. I miss it's convenience, its thoughtful storage areas and it ability to park ANYWHERE! But I think when I move to the coast in ten years, I will buy another Smart car. Yes, that is my plan.

Pablo said...

Dear Carl,

I'm so sorry for your problem, while trying to post here. I'm grateful for your Perseverance in sharing your gratitudes. You have, for more than a year, been the best at sharing what makes your heart sing, here, at this inn. Thank you, thank you, arigato, gracias and thank you.

I admire your attitude of gratitude about dirty dishes. I am inspired by your example. I am alarmed when you say your wife lost an arm. I'm uncertain as to how to respond. I am holding her with my concern and prayers, wishing her health and speedy recovery.

I can't agree with you more. Emotional constancy is critical if we are to avoid sickness of the soul: depression, self-loathing, loneliness and fear, among other symptoms.

Thank you for dropping by and sharing your words of thanks!

Pablo said...

Dear Vanessa,

That must have been an interesting date. I agree with your doctor, you are a good catch. Too bad, the fellow you were with last night was unable to appreciate the value you offer.

You must have been discouraged by the fellow who stood you up. That's awful!

Here, I first thought you were sad about the cad. But, nope, you rue you itsy bitsy car. I had a two-seater, once. Loved it. I'll get another, soon enough.

Thank you, for dropping by, keeping me company and sharing gratitudes. You made the innkeeper happy.

Wishing you a great week!

Quotes from the Posts

"I'm mindful that our thoughts affect the words we use, our words influence our actions, our actions shape our character and our character determines our destiny."

From "My Character Determines My Destiny." To read it, please click here.

"Progress not perfection, is better than no progress at all, especially when we're trying to rid ourselves from unwelcome dragons that dwell within the closets of our soul."

From, "Still Learning" which, within four days, became the most popular post
written. To read it, please click here.

"Worry does not empty tomorrow of its trouble, but it does empty today of its strength"
From the post: "Life Is Not a Correspondence Program." Click here to read it.

"Even though we cannot control our circumstances, we can control how we choose to respond to them."

From, "Handling Stress and Dealing With an Emotional Bully."Click here to read this post.

"Nope, being busy isn't exciting. Boring is good. Because boring is not boring; boring is being healthy, living a balanced life that has serenity"

From: "Do You Know What It Means If You Are Too Busy?" For more, please click here.