Wednesday, September 14

Dealing With Disappointment, Part II...................9/14/11

    Good evening everyone,

Have you recovered from all the partying regarding the six month anniversary of this cozy inn?  It's time to knock it off. 

     The other day, I wrote about processing a disappointment regarding a request I made to my ex-wife. It was related to my recent move to the Island town of Alameda. I knew the possibility of this request being answered favorably was almost nil.
     Her answer was as expected. However, having the courage to ask----in the face of the high probability of a negative response----demonstrated I'm getting emotionally stronger, not that I'm less intelligent for doing so. It's healthy communicating our needs..

     If the outcome is not what we want, it's our job meeting our needs in other ways. We're responsible for processing disappointment. Blaming the other person for our unhappiness doesn't help and is futile. "Acting like a victim is a choice, not a destiny." Hope for Today, p 189.

     My former wife's reaction was telling----she became emotionally fevered (click here for ideas about dealing with angry people). Her response provided clarity about our relationship. It let me know where she is, emotionally, spiritually and mentally. I wish her the very best, really.

     I am disappointed but not surprised. "Mourning loss is just as important a need as appreciating the gifts I receive" is how I looked at it in my earlier post. I'm tired. I'll take care of myself by getting sleep.

     But first...........

My Gratitudes for Wednesday:
1. I had a terrific conversation with a new friend. My mind and verbal dexterity was challenged, but I made it, even though I feel tiredness within this mortal coil.
2. I exercised today. I went for a walk. It's good for my spirit and attitude.
3. I rested today---I'm operating at a slower pace, deliberately. I'd be overwhelmed by my recent move if I pushed myself hard. I need to be at my best as I'm in the midst of several demands. Eating right, praying, staying in touch with God and friends helps me as I'm adjusting to the new place where I live.
4. I'm thankful that I'm organized by nature. I'm systematically tackling the burden of setting up a new home. I'm thankful for order and the reduction of clutter.
5. I met with friends tonight. We were meant to be in relationship with healthy others. I'm glad that I have others who love me unconditionally. I appreciate their company.
6. I didn't get everything done today. I'm happy I'm gentle towards myself when that happens.  I give myself credit for what I did accomplish. I don't need to live with a relentless drive to my life. Pushing myself mercilessly is a form of self-abuse. I prefer living life one day at a time.
7. I'm cherish my relationship with God. Praying and meditating helps me to know His will and gives me the power to carry it out. I'm unable to handle life by my resources alone. 

     Worrying about the future reveals I have a problem with trust.  Looking back with resentment reveals I have a problem with forgiveness.  In each case I'm not in the present.  All I have is this very moment.  I find it best staying present,doing what I can with the support, love and power of God and that of my friends and family.

         May you have a terrific day.

          The guy from the Left Coast

Image: "Scotland and Ben Nevis" by Tim Blessed © all rights reserved, used by permission

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Quotes from the Posts

"I'm mindful that our thoughts affect the words we use, our words influence our actions, our actions shape our character and our character determines our destiny."

From "My Character Determines My Destiny." To read it, please click here.

"Progress not perfection, is better than no progress at all, especially when we're trying to rid ourselves from unwelcome dragons that dwell within the closets of our soul."

From, "Still Learning" which, within four days, became the most popular post
written. To read it, please click here.

"Worry does not empty tomorrow of its trouble, but it does empty today of its strength"
From the post: "Life Is Not a Correspondence Program." Click here to read it.

"Even though we cannot control our circumstances, we can control how we choose to respond to them."

From, "Handling Stress and Dealing With an Emotional Bully."Click here to read this post.

"Nope, being busy isn't exciting. Boring is good. Because boring is not boring; boring is being healthy, living a balanced life that has serenity"

From: "Do You Know What It Means If You Are Too Busy?" For more, please click here.