Wednesday, September 7

Apologies Require Specificity (Also, I'm a Wealthy Man)

     Good evening everyone,

I just got in. Spending the evening with friends at an Applebee's Restaurant in town was a nice diversion. Sharing laughter and having fun reduced the intensity I've gone through the past few days. Moving to a new city and maintaining a busy work schedule has kept me more than busy.

     I must say---that phrase is a clue by the way---in this inn, I'm witnessing the strongest showing from another country other than the US. This nation gives the USA a strong run for its money, almost matching its readership. Thank you, denizens of the land of Shakespeare, Austen, Bacon, Bronte, Blake, Carew, Donne, Doyle, H.G. Wells, Kipling and Shelly for dropping by. 

     I can't wait to read posts from you. I enjoy the way you elegantly express our language and spell it. I.e., centre, colour, behaviour, aeroplane, et. al.  The wonderful news is that Spain almost matches England in readership. Thank you, for your visits, tambien.

     Some of you may have not noticed the tabs above this post: "Home," "About the Author,"  " Letting Go,"  and "It’s Never My Responsibility to …"  .Please click here for a taste of what you are missing.


     I spoke this evening about my making things right with others. I shared that an apology needs to be specific, like a compliment.Telling a person, "you're nice" isn't much of a compliment. It's vague and generic, not reflecting much thought behind it.
So it is with apologies. Saying "I'm sorry" isn't an apology in my book. Telling the person,  "I'm was insensitive to you," or,  "I talked over you," or  "I was not courteous when we were together," is specific.

     Apologizing is easier when we have a good self-image about ourselves.  We realize that doing something wrong does not make us worth less (worthless). In fact:
An admission of error is a sign of strength rather than weakness. Goethe
    Tonight I shared that one person I needed to put on the top of my list for amends was myself.  I accepted unacceptable behavior as a youth and young man.  I'm now kind towards myself about my youth because I realize I didn't know better; my tolerance towards it was was deliberate because I was trained to see it as normal. I did not have the skills or knowledge that permitted me to detach while still being kind and courteous towards the abusive or unkind person.

     I now know that accepting unacceptable behavior is a form of self-abuse. Pushing myself physically beyond what my body should endure is self abuse, too. Now, I sleep when tired, eat when hungry, connect with others, when I'm isolating and process my feelings when things disturb me. For more about that and an excellent reminder about our need for self-care, click here. 


     Speaking of taking care of myself, I'll call it a night after posting my gratitudes. Tomorrow, I may write more about apologies. So, please, let me know your thoughts about this subject. Remind me, to mention about "if" and apologies.

My Gratitudes for Today:

1. I loved the time spent with one son, for the past four days.
2. I sang for my two younger sons, this afternoon. Some of the songs where songs I haven't sung in several decades. It was nice. As I drove home from Fremont, I found myself singing and happy, even though I was in the midst of dense traffic that was crawling on freeway.

Life is really about what we choose to focus upon, isn't it? ? We may not be able to control our circumstances, but we do have control over how we choose to respond to them.

3. I'm attending a business meeting tomorrow. I look forward to being there.
4. Within the next few days I'll being working with my editor regarding some work I'm doing outside of this inn
5. I'm glad that I've been working on keeping my finances in order.
6. I had a phenomenal conversation this morning with a friend.

     What would have overwhelmed me, years ago, was handled in a great way......the results were terrific, too. I'm thankful for personal growth and for honest, healthy, open, caring dialog with this friend.

7. I just sent an e-mail of my best friend that I've known since I was 12. We're getting together soon.
8. I feel that I'm the wealthiest man on earth, I really do.

    I have a God who cherishes me, family and friends who love and cheer me on, I love my work and I am exactly where I want to be. I stay in the present; I'm excited as I'm spending time that's congruent with the vision I have for my life. If that is not being wealthy, I don't know what is.
Abundance is not in how much we have, but in how much we enjoy.
And, how's your day going? Keep posting! Please share your gratitudes; it meets my need for reciprocity, equality and fellowship. Go ahead, give it a try. You'll be glad you did.


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Quotes from the Posts

"I'm mindful that our thoughts affect the words we use, our words influence our actions, our actions shape our character and our character determines our destiny."

From "My Character Determines My Destiny." To read it, please click here.

"Progress not perfection, is better than no progress at all, especially when we're trying to rid ourselves from unwelcome dragons that dwell within the closets of our soul."

From, "Still Learning" which, within four days, became the most popular post
written. To read it, please click here.

"Worry does not empty tomorrow of its trouble, but it does empty today of its strength"
From the post: "Life Is Not a Correspondence Program." Click here to read it.

"Even though we cannot control our circumstances, we can control how we choose to respond to them."

From, "Handling Stress and Dealing With an Emotional Bully."Click here to read this post.

"Nope, being busy isn't exciting. Boring is good. Because boring is not boring; boring is being healthy, living a balanced life that has serenity"

From: "Do You Know What It Means If You Are Too Busy?" For more, please click here.