Thursday, September 29

Happiness: Where I Choose to Focus


     Tonight was unusual. I was with people that I did not like being with. How's that for honesty? Someone who offended me a few months ago showed up. Also, two others were there that I did not feel comfortable being with.  To make things worse, the focus was on two personalities in the crowd, not principles, making it hard for me to stomach the occasion.
     I was silent, not contributing to the event. But I didn't sulk; it isn't my style. I've learned to not accept unacceptable behavior or circumstances. Last night I didn't. Someone rescued me from the miserable evening when she asked for help regarding a family matter. We left the group to talk. Was I glad. We also traded numbers.  Next time, I find myself in a similar situation, I'll leave. My serenity is more valuable than being with others that I don't care being with.

      I haven't joined this setting in fourteen months.  At first, I wasn't sure about what I was saw and heard; I thought better of these people. I gave everyone the benefit of the doubt. Next time I'll respect the certainty of my intuition. Thanks for letting me vent.

My Gratitudes for Wednesday: 

1. I had a good session with someone I mentor. I had extra time. We hung out, discussing how she processed fear. We covered childhood coping behaviors she still uses and most often repeats. We explored behaviors. that are most damaging for her life.
2. I had someone work for me yesterday. What he did was unacceptable. I'm thankful that I expressed  my disappointment while still being kind and courteous. He made amends by correcting the situation.
3. I'm grateful that I rarely visit the group of people I was with tonight. It was fourteen months since I last dropped by.

    I'm the average of the five people that I hang out with. I'm usually with those who stay in the solution, are positive and are respectful. That was not the case tonight.
4. I'll talk with one person who was offensive this evening. Even if it makes no difference, it will at least take some pressure off my chest. I've learned to say what we mean, mean what we say, but not say it meanly.

5. I was disappointed being those that I was with tonight. I'll be easy towards myself. I had no idea tonight's event would turn out poorly.

Meeting a New Person

       On a good note, I met someone new at the library.

       She was grading papers,using her laptop in the patio of the Main Library. I thought she was a high school teacher. It turns out she's a English professor and a writer of historical fiction. She teaches at the college I went to.

      I was mentoring someone, while we enjoyed the sunny weather in the patio. This educator and I spoke when the person I was with had to move her car due to a one hour parking limit.

     When she returned from re-parking her car, we resumed our conversation. Twenty minutes later the professor left the patio where we were. On her way out, she tapped my shoulder, asking for my card. We arranged to have coffee soon.

     If I pretend this experience happened later in the day and that the unpleasant evening episode happened earlier, I had a good day. In essence, the two events did happen. Happiness is a matter of where I place my focus.

Image; "Northamptonshire: Riverbank" by Tim Blessed. All rights reserved.

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Quotes from the Posts

"I'm mindful that our thoughts affect the words we use, our words influence our actions, our actions shape our character and our character determines our destiny."

From "My Character Determines My Destiny." To read it, please click here.

"Progress not perfection, is better than no progress at all, especially when we're trying to rid ourselves from unwelcome dragons that dwell within the closets of our soul."

From, "Still Learning" which, within four days, became the most popular post
written. To read it, please click here.

"Worry does not empty tomorrow of its trouble, but it does empty today of its strength"
From the post: "Life Is Not a Correspondence Program." Click here to read it.

"Even though we cannot control our circumstances, we can control how we choose to respond to them."

From, "Handling Stress and Dealing With an Emotional Bully."Click here to read this post.

"Nope, being busy isn't exciting. Boring is good. Because boring is not boring; boring is being healthy, living a balanced life that has serenity"

From: "Do You Know What It Means If You Are Too Busy?" For more, please click here.

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