The Miracle-Gro Quality Boundaries Have On Our Character ........... 8/29/13

Boundaries: A Source for Sanity

         Times can weigh on our emotions when relating to a controlling person.

           Such an individual presents a problem.  They do not respect our need for autonomy.  Difficult relation-ships like these provide opportun-ities to adhere to our principles.

         Time spent with those who cramp our style allows us to speak our truth.  Like practicing a tennis stroke by hitting a ball against a wall, we can practice asserting our boundaries when with a controlling person.  Staying true to our standards helps us maintain serenity, sani-ty, and dignity----just barely.
   

        If not careful, our equilibrium can be thrown off when we are with pushy people.  Creat-ing distance with an unsafe person estab-lishes balance.

          Bound-aries do not exist for oth-ers to adhere to.  For our personal growth, they exist. We must adhere to them.  They produce the sanity and the dignity we need.

         Most people lack boundaries.  They know nothing about them. 

        Chaos marks their lives.  Their lack of preparation does not make their crises our emergencies.   (See here, too.)  Even when they desper-ately want us to rescue them.  Exercising boundaries with those who lack them gives us the sanity needed for peace of mind. 

       Relating with boundaryless people pours Miracle-Gro on our recovery---forcing us to tightly adhere to boundaries.  We dem-onstrate love when we do not rescue others from the natural con-sequences of their behavior or lack of initiative.

         Does someone or a situation tee-ter your totter?  Does a particular individual dump you into the morass of frustration?  How do you handle tough times?

          We want to be mindful of a quote posted months ago.  You can read this post here.  This article encourages us when we difficult find ourselves in difficult circumstances.  The following inspires me when confronting challenges:

We must never forget that we may also find meaning in life even when confronted with a hopeless situation, when facing a fate that cannot be changed.  For what then matters is to bear witness to the uniquely human potential at its best, which is to transform a personal tragedy into a triumph, to turn one's predicament into a human achievement.

When we are no longer able to change a situation---just think of an incurable dis-ease such as inoperable cancer---we are challenged to change ourselves.                                       Viktor Frankl

***

         Many good things happened this week. Even though it has been a time rife with tension and also filled with deep, negative emotions.  Within the past seven days, the following gratitudes emerged.

Gratitudes:
1. Receiving practical support this week.

     Beyond my wildest dreams. Those in my supportive network emboldened me with their encouragement and wisdom.
2. Love from others gives us a strength we won't have when we go it alone.

      The compassion, empathy, fellowship, and sensitivity I've experienced gave me hope during a difficult season.  It has been among the most challenging times in my life.

       The outpouring of affection I received stunned me; it gave a bounce to my step that did not exist earlier this month.

     Loved ones and friends visited.   Phone calls and acts of loving service ministered to my well-being in ways beyond imagining.  Their loving concern lifted my spirit.
3. I'm adding new dimensions to the work I do.  I am participating in my growth.  Good for me!  I'm thankful for opportunities that expand my creativity and resourcefulness.
4.  I have a business mentor, and his help has been like a steady lighthouse amid a storm.