Saturday, August 3

Emotional and Verbal Aikido 8/3/13

       How is everyone?  I'm happy you dropped by.  I wrote what follows April 27th, 2011.  I'm sharing it with those who not have dug around in the dusty boxes-----the archives of this inn.

      I've had a fantastic day, so far.  I delight in writing.  It's a big difference from what I do professionally: listening
and responding to what others have to say.

     Through writing, I'm able to express my voice, which feels real good.

      I'll be back later today. In the meantime, would it be possible for you to share what were your high and low points for the week?  I'd be much obliged.   Here is the post:

Taking Care of Ourselves
      This evening,  I spent time with friends at a cafe, sipping steamed milk.  I didn't want to being wired when it was time for bed.  One chatted about her unfaithful boyfriends, death, sociopathy and I brought up the need for verbal and emotional Aikido.
Emotional, Verbal Aikido
     
      I mentioned an experience I had earlier in the day.  It's staying present, when experiencing negative energy coming our way.  It's deflecting it, without harming the perpetrator.  It's not allowing another person's unhealthy comments or behavior to harm us. Verbal and emotional Aikido protects our well-being.

      This type of emotional martial art is involves keeping our emotional balance, responding, nor reacting while in the midst of a tense situation.  It allows us to maintain our emotional sobriety. Emotional safety is likelier when exercising boundaries. When assassinated verbally, it's helpful saying,
"We need to put a bookmark in this conversation. I need to process what you've said."
And then run outside and scream. :-> It's okay doing so, if it helps.  I process difficult moments with others by talking it over with my Balcony People. (For more information, click here.) I might exercise or journal about the situation.  Spending time with God, yielding frustrations over to His care, also helps for many. 

        Today, I was with someone who had an emotional meltdown and was abusive. Knowing what to do, when it happened, made this innkeeper grateful. I wasn't Porky Pig.  I didn't say,"budda, budda, budda....," stammering because I was caught off guard by this person's unpleasantness.

        At first, it may not be easy practicing detachment, but life is more enjoyable when we don't take mistreatment by others personally. It's a statement about them, not us. For further insight into Emotional Bullies, click here or here.

       A second bully, the one I wrote about a month ago, showed up where I spoke this evening. By the time I had finished visiting with members in the audience, he was gone.  It was a relief not needing to be vigilant.

       I'm tired, I'm going to bed, after sharing my thanks for today. The emotional demands of the day wore me out. I'm in H.A.L.T.. I'll take care of myself by hitting the hay.

My Gratitudes for Tonight:
1. I'm speaking Friday on Having a Spiritual Awakening.  I'm grateful for the support of several friends. They will be there.
"Be still and know I'm God."  Ps 46:10
2. I like writing. It's forcing me to be concise. It's more work than imagined. The results of writing are not ephemeral, like a talk. Life slows down in a luxurious way. I take the time to inventory my thoughts when I write. I value the resultant mental clarity. 
3. I'm grateful for the strength I receive when I settle down, keep my emotional balance and spend time in His Presence.

2 comments:

Carl H said...

Dear Innkeeper,

My high for this week is;

Gatherings with two separate circles of friends on Wednesday and Friday night (a few hours after a root canal!) to share our experience, strength and hope around making amends to those in my life that I have harmed; challenging but I'm sure very redemptive and healing.

My low for the week was;

A root canal on Friday afternoon. The new-to-me Endodontist was excellent and did a good job, but there was a bit more pain than I had remembered! That being said, I was extremely grateful when it was over!!!

Theresa Elander said...

My high for the week.

Connecting with friends I can count on. Who know me and love me. Friends that it is easy to be with.

My low for the week.

Recognizing that I have a conversation ahead of me that I don't want to have. A relationship that is no longer working for me.

Quotes from the Posts

"I'm mindful that our thoughts affect the words we use, our words influence our actions, our actions shape our character and our character determines our destiny."

From "My Character Determines My Destiny." To read it, please click here.

"Progress not perfection, is better than no progress at all, especially when we're trying to rid ourselves from unwelcome dragons that dwell within the closets of our soul."

From, "Still Learning" which, within four days, became the most popular post
written. To read it, please click here.

"Worry does not empty tomorrow of its trouble, but it does empty today of its strength"
From the post: "Life Is Not a Correspondence Program." Click here to read it.

"Even though we cannot control our circumstances, we can control how we choose to respond to them."

From, "Handling Stress and Dealing With an Emotional Bully."Click here to read this post.

"Nope, being busy isn't exciting. Boring is good. Because boring is not boring; boring is being healthy, living a balanced life that has serenity"

From: "Do You Know What It Means If You Are Too Busy?" For more, please click here.

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