Sunday, August 11

Relating With a Curmudgeon and Highs and Lows Time 8/11/13

    Hello everyone,

Greetings.  I had a busy morning, Saturday. The after-noon, however, nurtured the innkeeper.  The crisp weather, 20+ mile visibility (that included the San Francisco Peninsula, across the bay, from the south shore) and the brilliantly teal waves surrounding the island city of Alameda was a tonic for the innkeeper.  The smell of surf and foam---along with a leisurely seven mile ride, even though I carried thirty pounds of books in my pannier, I had been with someone I mentored---was coffee that revived this bone-weary soul.

     I retired early in the evening and here I am, fresh, this pristine
morning.  As I am wont to do on weekends, I'd like hearing your high and low points for the week just concluded. Here are mine:

1.  I exercised discipline. Stressful moments were balanced with times of rest and fun.

Having Perspective With With an Angry Person:
Responding, Not Reacting

2.  I was attacked this week, in another forum.  Ad hominem arguments let me know that the person I disagreed with could not find any grounds to refute me, so he made the conversation personal and vicious.  Related link: Character Discernment: Principles That Help Us With Difficult People

     I'm glad I took steps to remedy this problem. It is great learning to detach from unhealthy people. Just a reminder: there is an acronym for detach: Don't Even Think About Changing Him (or Her).

     Also, I'm thankful that when I am at ease with my values, dreams and desires, I am able to risk the disapproval of others.

Relating With A Curmudgeon

      I regularly relate with a curmudgeon.  His attitude at times:
"Sometimes you wake up in the morning and wish your parents had never met."                                      ~Bill Fitch
3.  Being with this fellow allows me to exercise internal referenting and practice grace and kindness, even when severely tried; it also reminds me how lucky I am when relating with others who are pleasant.

4.   This week someone wanted me to be responsible for her feelings.  That's a serious crossing of boundaries.  She is responsible for her feelings.  I no longer walk on eggshells.  I am NOT a codependent. Am I glad.

       No one can make us happy, sad, angry or another feelings without us giving them permission to do so. I'm thankful for the freedom I have because I don't base my worth on how others perceive me.

5.  I went to the movies and saw a great flick.
6.  I watched the San Francisco Giants play on Tuesday: I nurtured me, even though they lost, the diversion relaxed my mind.
7.  I spoke Wednesday night; I've been giving public speeches since I was ten;  I love the opportunities: they allow me to study, outline, and speak in front of others,  connecting with an audience, each of which I like doing---a lot.

1.  I still have filing to do. I can get swamped with paperwork.
2.  I did not ride my bike as much as I like.
3.  I'd like to sleep more regularly.
4.  Some people I relate with are not respectful of my boundaries. That is disappointing. But, it is good knowing that when angry, mean people, are displeased with me, it means I am standing up to abuse.  And that's a good thing.

How About You? 
What are your high and low points for the past week?  You heard mine.  I look forward to reading yours. 


Optimistic Existentialist said...

Sometimes we have no choice but to detach do we? I try to make it an absolute last resort but at times that's the only choice we have, sadly. My high for the week was visiting my family on Saturday. My low was seeing some coworkers laid off.

Pablo said...

Dear Keith,

Thanks for your visit. This place improves, when you do. It also makes my job less lonely. How did you visit with family go? What did you like the best,least?

That must have been sad, to see coworkers let go. You'll probably miss your connection with them.

Wishing you a better week, and grateful you still you have your job,

The Innkeeper

Quotes from the Posts

"I'm mindful that our thoughts affect the words we use, our words influence our actions, our actions shape our character and our character determines our destiny."

From "My Character Determines My Destiny." To read it, please click here.

"Progress not perfection, is better than no progress at all, especially when we're trying to rid ourselves from unwelcome dragons that dwell within the closets of our soul."

From, "Still Learning" which, within four days, became the most popular post
written. To read it, please click here.

"Worry does not empty tomorrow of its trouble, but it does empty today of its strength"
From the post: "Life Is Not a Correspondence Program." Click here to read it.

"Even though we cannot control our circumstances, we can control how we choose to respond to them."

From, "Handling Stress and Dealing With an Emotional Bully."Click here to read this post.

"Nope, being busy isn't exciting. Boring is good. Because boring is not boring; boring is being healthy, living a balanced life that has serenity"

From: "Do You Know What It Means If You Are Too Busy?" For more, please click here.