mystical, magical time, to begin with. The best part was the connection shared as we talked, laughed, cried (good tears) and spoke honestly, openly with vulnerability. I'm thankful for how healthy and dynamic it is, when relating with safe people.
And then, I went to work. I've been on edge, emotionally, as I anticipate tomorrow, giving a talk in the morning at a community event. That's okay. It feels exactly like the edginess I had when wrestling or running track for a school, on the day of a meet, when younger. Then, I couldn't wait until I got on the mat. The same adrenaline-filled anticipation courses through my veins as I write now.
I'll keep this post short as I want to give the once, twice, three times the look over of the outline prepared for my talk. Wish me well. I need it. I've experienced spiritual warfare this week, being attacked while my back was turned. That was a major distraction, emotionally and mentally. I believe this assault is spiritually connected to the service I do within the Bay Area community, including tomorrow. But all is well.
This morning's magnificent meeting of spirits with a specially gifted, caring and kind person was a sorely needed tonic. Encouraged and inspired, I was, emboldened, too. I hardly recognized myself during the visit with this friend. I love the conviction felt today when expressing my feelings. I let this individual know the value I placed in the time shared and the gift this person is for me.
I love it, how life turns out, when I get out of the way. Good things fell my way, in spite of experiencing abuse this week. It happened when I allow God to provide what I am unable to give myself. The special blessing I received this week has been way worth the wait. I cherish time spent with this extremely rare friend. I look forward to what God is going to do in the following months.
I was inspired by the sincere, warm, caring dialog, the connection, caring, compassion, honesty, closeness and emotional safety this dear friend and I savored, as we spent two-and-a-half hours catching up with each other. The time seemed but a moment. I'm happy for the characterological strength I demonstrated during the visit. I surprised myself. I was less the social aborigine. Now, I can express who I am, with a caring honesty that was not mine before knowing Al-Anon Family Groups.
My Gratitudes:
1. For the best conversation, I've ever had, today.
2. For the satisfaction that happens when connecting with an rare find of a friend----where we enjoyed reciprocity, solidarity and support, we each were known for who we are, not what we appear to be.
3. For my spirit being invigorated as it was bathed by the special time I luxuriated in this morning.
4. For discipline. After posting this, I'm reviewing my outline, tweaking it.
5. For having a joy that is not related to circumstances. What a gift it is to still feel the comforting warmth from the rays of life's blessings, even when maligned. I was showered by the turbulent storm of unkind, insensitive and treacherous behavior and comments by others, this week.
6. For each of you who drop by. Thank you! You make this place what it is. I hope you'll feel comfortable enough to pause and write a comment, hopefully even sharing gratitudes that fill your heart during your stay at this inn.
How About You?
What are your gratitudes for the past week? What were your highs for the past seven day?
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2 comments:
Dear Innkeeper,
My high for this week was resting to recover from a busy and rigorous journey south. My lows were challenging moments with my wife and sons, and a couple of them at work...
My gratitudes on this Saturday night are;
1. That I could push through an early winter head-cold and exhaustion to be a somewhat functional M.C. for our monthly Community of Faith (Interfaith) Breakfast this morning.
2. That this event could be well attended and that the speaker could move, inspire uplift and empower one and all!
3. That when I doze off at this laptop, and my fingers rest gently on some random key, and that key gets inadvertently typed on here, line after line, dozens of times as I doze away, THAT MY KEYBOARD HAS A BACKSPACE OR DELETE BUTTON!
4. That I could experience a full, but satisfying day of service (church, my Mom, and yard work once home) and nap at dusk in peace.
5. That our #2 son could reconnect with a couple of (relatively) wholesome, married, high school buddies from our old neighborhood in Northern Virginia, and go out to dinner with them; for that healthy, normalizing bonding in fellowship.
6. That I think I have figured out how to survive the pre-Thanksgiving food shopping, frenetic and angst-ridden house cleaning, and preparation of two hardwood smoked, BBQ'd (on the Weber Grill) 20# Turkey's for 12+ (one bird) and another for the homeless...
That survival being handled with the loving support of like-minded, kindred spirits, and with slogans as tools like "first things first, easy does it, progress not perfection, keep it simple, how important is it, and let it begin with me... one chore/task at a time, one seeming crisis at a time, and one day at a time.
Dear Carl,
I apologize for the delay in responding. I'm glad the breakfast went well, that you, and others, were encouraged.
Thank you, for your example. Your gratitudes demonstrate the benefits when placing principles above our personality. It's given you the ability to persevere and maintain your sanity.
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