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| Have you taken time to thank God? You'll be glad you did. |
playing a video game.
I was able to write only the title. So, I made do. It's the longest title you'll ever read.
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How are you, guests to this inn of positivity? I'm glad I got in today, using a friend's computer. I can greet you today. The innkeeper is on an enforced vacation. I won't have my computer until Saturday. It looks like I need new one.
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The weather lately has been superb. Wednesday, I pedaled around the island city of Alameda yesterday for an hour. (Did you know that when this city has a robbery, they draw up all the bridges?) I walked for a long time, in the morning. You'd think I would have really zonked out last night. Such wasn't the case. I'm tired. I didn't sleep well.Wednesday evening I gathered with friends. I'm grateful for the support of dear ones. Speaking of which......
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| A home in my neighborhood |
Yesterday, I spoke with my friend Charli while strolling through my neighborhood for an hour. She's in her seventies, whose insights I respect. A notepad, reading glasses and pen were on hand, while I walked and wrung wisdom from this wonderful woman.
She's the definition of pithiness. Jotting down her comments helps. When she speaks, I'm unable to process it all. In minutes, she pours out useful wisdom that takes me a week to digest. Am I lucky knowing her.
It's been since October since we've connected. I was in dire need and happy when I heard her alert voice at the other end of my call.
It strengthens me, having friends. They set me straight. Time with her reminded me of the value of not living in isolation. Charli's comments oriented me after recently slamming into the sliding glass door of an unpleasant reality.
The jarring experience of someone who screamed at me, in front of eighteen other friends had clouded my perspective over the past month. I didn't want to react to the unpleasant event; I desired to respond. Charli's experience, strength and hope was sought.
Her insight was appreciated: there was the possibility of seeing the screamer that evening. Charlie didn't let me down.
Talking with her, reacquainted me with her humor. Laughing heartily, several times, while we talked was a welcomed respite. I was concerned by the behavior of the screaming bully. I relaxed again, because of my friend's support.
Thanks, Charli. I love you and am lucky having your support. You demonstrate the value of not living alone, relying only on my own resources.
I'm thankful for the practical help available when in relationship with emotionally mature others. I become a better person. Clearer insights are conjured. The collective strength of my supportive community is a gift I don't want to neglect.
Better responses I learn. Better than any I could come up with, if I were left to my distorted my perspective. All that was required was willingness to admit I'm not God. I admitted my vulnerability.
I'm thankful for the emotional and psychological distance Balcony People provide.
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Retiring the CapeThe other day, I was with a friend. She was depressed. I watched her struggle to express her needs. It appeared she expected others to intuit what she wanted and provide for her.
This attractive woman's slumped-over body screamed despair while she and I were with a crowd of friends. My "rescuer" self wrestled with the idea of taking out my hidden cape of codependency. My saner self reminded me I'm neither Mighty Mouse nor God. I stayed put.
I'm glad I did not react to the siren call of her miserable, depressed expressions. Her desire to get healthier needs to be stronger than my desire to help. Such is not the case.
My Gratitudes for Thursday:
1. Beautiful Bay Area weather2. Reuniting with friends at a restaurant, until the late hours of the evening. Nothing beats community, love, shared joy and support.
3. I'm able to write this post; it's great connecting with you.
4. I bought a wonderful toy last night. I got a cyclometer that calculates the distance I ride, the speed---both average and the maximum----during the trip and time elapsed. I love seeing progress. This device will help.
5. This afternoon, a friend and I rode our bike for an hour circling the island town where I live. Afterwards, we discussed healthy ways of handling anger. All of which made for a terrific afternoon.
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How about you? 1. Who aids you, when you need it? Today, Charli helped me.
2. Who do you seek out, when you're stumped with life?
3 Are there any other suggestions a person can do, to get support, during a tough time? What works for you?
I like hearing your ideas; my perspective is limited.
Thanks for dropping by. Thanks also to those who read and leave comments. I enjoy the community we share, when you do.
Posts
3 comments:
Listening to the emotional healthy experience you shared with a
healthy other was news to my ears. It makes the opposite emotionally unavailable all the more noticable. But I am learning not to go there. I was recently enlightened as to who not to turn to for support when after sharing from my heart they responded maybe you should talk to someone. I thought I was.
After four years of working on myself I have changed, thank God literally I could not take credit for areas in my life where I have grown. It is exciting making an effort to make healthier friends and sad to let go of long time acquaintances. My standards are higher now and you get what you tolerate. I am moving in a direction of love, acceptance and emotionally healthy others. Thank you for all the encouragement at the Inn.
Muse
Yes, Muse, we want to keep our face towards the sun, that way we won't see much of darkness. (Helen Keller) It's usually best focusing on what we DO have, looking at our options when disappointed.
Thanks for hanging out with me here, in the inn. I enjoy the fellowship shared when we discuss the issues posted in this place.
"You want to believe a person the first time they tell you who they are." ..... Maya Angelou.
According to your comment, your "friend" let you know where s/he stood with you, with his or her response. Ouch. I think I'm hearing a bit of myself with your comment, "you get what you tolerate." :-> I'm glad you agree with this healthy principle.
Good for you that you don't want to accept unacceptable behavior. Believe me, you are sparing yourself future misery.
I think I heard in your post one gratitude for growing discernment regarding friends. I detect the second gratitude in the joy you have as you are developing (emotionally) healthier friends. I hear a third gratitude for the encouragement you find when you drop by this inn. That is what this place is all about.
Thanks for dropping by, reading and commenting. You might want to inform your friends about this place. It one's place that offers hope, principles and encouragement, something we don't find often in today's media.
The Innkeeper
Hi Pablo,
Grateful you are keeping up the inn.
Your words are like oil on dry wood, Windex on smudged windows and soft cushions on porch chairs.
I recently called my Sister to tell her I had been diagnosed with cancer. Her response was I am going to get sick and want to watch my TV show.
Wow. No support there so I moved on to balcony people, she is not on my list.
I don't need to judge her only keep myself safe. I can pray for her and turn her over to God. I grew up in the same family she did so I understand without recovery damaged people stay stuck. I am glad you guided me to AFG. Your comment about willingness
to work on myself and use tools of the program,not expect to be fixed is a wonderful lesson. Thank you
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