Wednesday, April 13

Boundaries: Defining Who I Am

Trees at Coyote Hills.    Shot in the dark of night, lit from street lights.
This place is near my home.
      How are you? Have you had a good week? I hope so. The past few days I've been getting a visitor from Malaysia. Thanks for dropping by! Thank you, for the private letters some of  you readers send my way.  I enjoy hearing from you, and your honesty.

      Studying, I'll do this morning, before work. I'll do so while listening to the rhythmic, hypnotic sound of rain striking the patio. I thought I'd check in with you, first. I enjoy learning your gratitudes. Let me know if there's a topic you'd like us to cover in this inn of thanksgiving, positivity and praise.
My Gratitudes for Today:
1. I'm happy when I meet adults who desire to develop their abilities in dealing with conflict and difficult, agitated people. I spent time last night with someone who was terribly violated by her landlady.  We discussed some things she can do, to maintain her sanity, keep her dignity and have her needs met.  I love the work I do.

2. Yesterday, I met with another person who faced a crushing disappointment. It was fulfilling going over alternatives that allow her to overcome her depression.  It was encouraging seeing her spirit brighten, as we focused on ways she can stay in the solution.

3. I'm grateful for the action that helps me deal with issues I am confronting.

4. I delighted in the homemade split-pea soup I concocted yesterday.  I have some left---yum!  Cooking yesterday, chopping celery, red potatoes, green onions and the other stuff that went with it was an opportunity to experience a Zen moment, it's similar to when I play pool, knocking in twelve or fifteen balls in, in a row.

5. I enjoyed a meeting I had with an employer. We discussed goals and expectations in a pleasant way. The person struggles with his temper.  Before we started our meeting,  I mentioned we had to relate as equals, using courtesy, respect.  Yep, I said that.  He agreed with my request.  A productive meeting ensued.

6. I'm happy I've learned to exercise boundaries.

       I don't have them for others to adhere to. They're for me to adhere to.  They define for others who I am; they allow others to know what I will and will not accept.

      I enjoy healthier relationships when I don't give away big chunks of who I am simply because I want the relationship.  If I have to be more than what I am in order to be accepted by another, I bless that person.  And, I send them on their way.  Yep, I do, and as a result, I'm happier, enjoying more sanity and serenity.

      Those relationships requiring me to prove myself are not God's gift for me.  The friends God gives me, love me as I am and have my back.  I'm blessed. I have such friends. Fortunately, my sons are in that group.

7. I'm excited. Today, I'm working out on my gym before working.

     May I ask you to share your gratitudes? Remember, this is your gratitude journal, too.  Sharing yours meets my need for reciprocity, equality, communicating and fellowship. I like it when you do.

Please have a great and grateful day,


Kelly said...

Hi! Thanks for your comment on my side of the blog world. I responded, just in case you were wondering....

Quite a nice set up you have here. I love hearing other people's gratitudes; they always come out so poetically.

Paul NorthernCal said...

Hi there, Kelly,
Back atcha, thanks for dropping by! It was my pleasure, introducing myself. Just know, you aren't alone. The critical piece for support is connect with those who are emotionally mature and healthy, not just anybody. We don't need more critics----we've had enough of them, as kids.

By the way, you just shared a gratitude: thank you, for adding to this place! Where are you located?

Wishing you the best,

Pablo said...

I remember playing pool with my dad when I was younger. We had a pool table for awhile in our living room. Although I can say there were some heated moments due to our mutual competitiveness, I am grateful for having funny memories of our banter regarding who is better. I don't know if I'd call my experience playing pool as 'Zen' like, but I am lucky I had a father that had a good, playful sense of humor.

Paul NorthernCal said...

Hey, welcome, Pablo,

Sounds like you had a unique father;he sounds like a character. As a teacher and public speaker, I'm mindful of a quote from an orator of years past. Charles Spurgeon wrote:

“There are things in a talk that may produce smiles, but what of them? The speaker is not quite sure about a smile being a sin, and at any rate he thinks it less a crime to cause momentary laughter than a half-hour of profound slumber."

I think this is true with life in general, too.

"A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones." Proverbs 17:22

Pablo, thanks for adding two gratitudes to this place: fun memories and an upbringing that included humor. May God bless you this week. Please drop by again, soon.

Quotes from the Posts

"I'm mindful that our thoughts affect the words we use, our words influence our actions, our actions shape our character and our character determines our destiny."

From "My Character Determines My Destiny." To read it, please click here.

"Progress not perfection, is better than no progress at all, especially when we're trying to rid ourselves from unwelcome dragons that dwell within the closets of our soul."

From, "Still Learning" which, within four days, became the most popular post
written. To read it, please click here.

"Worry does not empty tomorrow of its trouble, but it does empty today of its strength"
From the post: "Life Is Not a Correspondence Program." Click here to read it.

"Even though we cannot control our circumstances, we can control how we choose to respond to them."

From, "Handling Stress and Dealing With an Emotional Bully."Click here to read this post.

"Nope, being busy isn't exciting. Boring is good. Because boring is not boring; boring is being healthy, living a balanced life that has serenity"

From: "Do You Know What It Means If You Are Too Busy?" For more, please click here.