Wednesday, June 4

Calmness in the Eye of the Storm...... 6/3/14

  How are you?

Tuesday, I rested.  Was it needed.   I love serving others, my role as innkeeper, helping others, overcome being mangled by abuse, fear and self-loathing.

       I'm bumping up the following post.  Let me hear from you, I value your insights.  Here is the post, I made it current with my gratitudes for this day:


      The past few months have been inspiring, a time of characterological growth.  It is a season of
nurturing the formerly wounded child that dominated my emotions whenever I was threatened.

      During recent intense negative circumstances, I had equanimity.

       What a change.

       Now, I enjoy peace in areas once were fraught with fear, regions that normally pull on the scabs of traumatic youthful experiences.  Affirming love now fills the void once occupied by apprehension.  My emotional vitality is the fruit of rigorous, disciplined hard work in emotionally unpleasant areas for more than ten years.

        In that time, I've planted, grew and nurtured healthy relationships.  I sprinkled the seeds of boundaries and principles.  The harvest of emotional ease and safety, knowing closeness and engaging in authentic relationships allows an  intimacy few know.  These actions healed soul sickness that was once plagued me.  My emotional belly was sated.

        It was a relief, being freed from the emotional disease of codependencyfreedom from narcissists and emotional bullies. The growth of my people picker, character discernment, made this possible.

       Emotional maturity is marvelous.  Love, received from God, and the good company of family and friends----and I'm not talking about Facebook quality friends, but Balcony People----provides emotional stability, serenity and safety. It allows me to push through arduous, taxing times.

       Something else helped, too.  I'm taking care of my vulnerable self. I nurture and strengthen this part of me, where the younger Pablo still resides.  It's disturbing how frequently conditional love is doled out by parents----"if you jump through hoops---- perform "well"----we'll approve of you."  Sadly, this is the experience of many while growing up.  It was mine.

        Doing well in school, sports, playing a musical instrument, success---in whatever way a parent considered "well"----was necessary, if a child was to be praised. Tragically scarring is this approach.  Children unconsciously absorb it, carrying unhealthy beliefs into adulthood, conditioned to constantly seek the approval of others.  Many are culturally coerced into this form of codependency, trained to be externally referented.  Yes, that is a word.  For more about this subject, please read any of these links.

      Children, and others, should not be treated like little monkeys wearing flat-topped caps who must dance the dance of performance, before the organ grinder of life feeds them peanuts of praise.

      I'm thrilled my sons know a different legacy.  They are loved simply because of who they are.  That's it.  If they never accomplish anything---my love for them would not diminish.  The same is true for friends.  Who they are, frailties, faults and all, is good enough. They not valued because of the positive attributes they don when in public.


       Those on a boat, overwhelmed by the severe tossing of a hellacious storm, have two responses--- become agitated, distracted,  panic.  Or they keep their cool, doing what's necessary to make it to shore.

        Who do you think will be most successful?  Right, the one who keeps his wits.  This has been my response when engulfed by upsetting circumstances foisted themselves upon my psyche and feelings.

        My mantra during difficult seasons of life has been, "Don't think.  Just put one foot in front of the other."  It works.  Am I glad.  I accomplish more than thought possible, when persevering instead of perseverating.

        This happens when I am patient towards my limitations and areas needing help.  When I'm gentle towards me, challenges are overcome.  I focus on healthy alternatives that transcend vulnerabilities and negative behaviors that once defeated me.

        Ya ay!

        It feels good, being loved, supported by a loving God and good friends---my  Balcony People (A different link).  It's terrific, finding a safe harbor, moving beyond the rough seas that once tossed and threatened my serenity and joy.

My Gratitudes for Tuesday, 6/3/14
1. I played the guitar, a lot.
2. I slept more last night, than any other this year.
3. I napped. I was in HALT and halted. I respected and was gentle towards myself.
4. I studied, something I love doing.  Preparing for my times with clients is something I love doing; it enriches me, too.
5. I'll play the guitar with a friend tomorrow.
6. I'll will visit with someone special tomorrow.  Can't wait.
7. I love priorities and the order they create.  They help me to focus on action that will produce the greatest bang for the time I invest.

How About You?
Are you finding yourself at peace with yourself? If so, what helps you to know tranquility?
I'd love hearing from you,

No comments:

Quotes from the Posts

"I'm mindful that our thoughts affect the words we use, our words influence our actions, our actions shape our character and our character determines our destiny."

From "My Character Determines My Destiny." To read it, please click here.

"Progress not perfection, is better than no progress at all, especially when we're trying to rid ourselves from unwelcome dragons that dwell within the closets of our soul."

From, "Still Learning" which, within four days, became the most popular post
written. To read it, please click here.

"Worry does not empty tomorrow of its trouble, but it does empty today of its strength"
From the post: "Life Is Not a Correspondence Program." Click here to read it.

"Even though we cannot control our circumstances, we can control how we choose to respond to them."

From, "Handling Stress and Dealing With an Emotional Bully."Click here to read this post.

"Nope, being busy isn't exciting. Boring is good. Because boring is not boring; boring is being healthy, living a balanced life that has serenity"

From: "Do You Know What It Means If You Are Too Busy?" For more, please click here.