Saturday, June 23

Dealing With Disappointment and What Allows Me to Be At My Best, When Stressed

“If your heart is a volcano, how shall you expect flowers to bloom?”

Kahlil Gibran
      Good evening,

I'm tired, and have a headache. Fitful sleep does that to me. I knew I had to get up early today, and kept waking up throughout the night.

      Also, the people in the house next door are in the midst of a move. They have been making plenty of noise---early in the mornings---waking me up, every day
this week.  Ugh.  Other than that, I'm doing well. :)

      During moments of not being at my physical or mental best provide opportunities to take care of myself. I H.A.L.T. (Click on the link if you want to see more about this.) Pressing on makes no sense. If I did, I wouldn't be kind towards myself.

      Tomorrow evening, my sons and I will celebrate Father's Day.  Yep, tomorrow, not last week.  The past weekend was busy as it was, with my son's graduation.
My Gratitudes for Today: 
1.  I exercised modified discipline. I was tired, working only the first half of the day.  I recognized my exhaustion and cancelled the plans I had for the rest of the day.  I respected my body's limitations.
2.  I'm glad I'm getting acquainted with those who form my community.  I learn more about their nature.  Today's society, I believe, would benefit if we took more time relating, before considering others as friends. I'm leery of Facebook friendships.  For me, they are not friendships.

     I define a friend as someone I connect with at least one hour a week. All others are acquaintances. You opinion may differ, and that's okay.
3.  I got rest.  I took a nap earlier this evening. I'm still tired, though, my body is still out of kilter.
Went For A Ride
        I rode my bike today.  It wasn't as fun, as normal.  My cyclometer disappeared. In the rush of leaving for an event this morning, I couldn't find it. You haven't an idea how much this wireless device means to me.

        Measuring progress excites me.  Not knowing how well I'm performing, while cycling, frustrates me. I rode through three towns this morning, without a clue as to how far or fast I traveled. This computerized gizmo tells me everything.  It makes me happy.  It does, I enjoy seeing results.

       In its absence, I rode leisurely, not breaking a sweat.  It was probably best I took it easy.  I was tired.  Balance was needed. Listening to my body and yielding to it's cautions is a good move. So, I slowed down.

4. I appreciate using common sense today while riding my bike. Being aware of my exhaustion and sensitive to my physical need for rest and balance was a terrific way of demonstrating self-love.

5. I'm thankful I'm getting better at not relating with narcissists.  Before, when I was more vulnerable, and didn't know boundaries, I was a magnet for them.  Life is a lot more happier, now that the caliber of those that I relate with are healthier.  My relationships now have mutuality, support and respect for one another.
Facing Disappointment
       I've faced several disappointments, recently.  When that happens I release my sadness, and am gentle towards myself.  It helps using the slogan, "Let Go and Let God."

       So, what is the gratitude during such times? I'm thankful for accepting life. Life is not always riding high on our emotions.  During such times I appreciate the value of acceptance.

       I'm glad I've learned that acceptance means feeling my disappointment, grieving it, letting it go and then deciding what steps to take next. (Courage to Change, p. 256) This is the Part B of acceptance. It doesn't mean passivity or resignation.

       Acceptance provides me with choices. I have options. For today, it meant getting rest. I was physically worn out.  Taking care of my body, respecting its physical limitations, nurturing my body with sleep and curtailing my activities allows me to be at my best, when stressed.
How About You? 
1. How good are you at slowing down, at halting? Or is it your nature to keep pressing on with the tasks that assail you?
2. What helps you to overcome disappointment?
3. Who do you define as friends?

2 comments:

Carl H said...

Hello Pablo, Wonderful topic to ponder on a cool, breezy Sunday evening by the Bay. I love the acronym, H.A.L.T. if you are Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired. When confronted with a change, disappointment or discovery, I often want to act or react in the moment, as is true of most of us. H.A.L.T. helps me to stop, breathe, ponder the new reality and wait until I can get my head around whatever it is,and consider options. Its a gift to give ones self time to cope. It seems we always do better once we accept or digest "it" before moving forward.

For me, friends are those I can share my heart with, who can share theirs with me,and who can be available emotionally and in times of need. True friendship poses an ongoing, philosophical question and challenge for me. There are those I've known for many years, and worked closely with who are acquaintances, and those I've known a year whom I consider friends. It also would be someone I can disagree with on any level, and still be friends.

My Gratitude's for today are;
1. Grateful we could find my wife a lovely, low-mileage, new-to-her car, in only five days of focused shopping, helping her feel more loved and cared for...
2. Grateful I could swim laps and snooze in the sauna at the gym.
3. Grateful we can host our dear, long-time friends daughter, her husband and two year old son, for the next few days.

Pablo said...

Hey Carl,

I agree with you, it's easy for us to react. Responding, like using H.A.L.T., is preferred for everyone, including ourselves. Many a conflict would be avoided if yielded to this principle.

I also agree with your definition of friendship. What you describe allows mutuality. If we are always giving, we will be lonely. If we are always receiving, there's a lack of balance.

I appreciate your gratitudes. They reveal we can be thankful for practical matters, and service, in addition to those things that add to our personal growth.

I'm glad you're taking care of yourself: you swam and napped.

I look forward to your visits at the inn. Have a great week!

Quotes from the Posts

"I'm mindful that our thoughts affect the words we use, our words influence our actions, our actions shape our character and our character determines our destiny."

From "My Character Determines My Destiny." To read it, please click here.

"Progress not perfection, is better than no progress at all, especially when we're trying to rid ourselves from unwelcome dragons that dwell within the closets of our soul."

From, "Still Learning" which, within four days, became the most popular post
written. To read it, please click here.

"Worry does not empty tomorrow of its trouble, but it does empty today of its strength"
From the post: "Life Is Not a Correspondence Program." Click here to read it.

"Even though we cannot control our circumstances, we can control how we choose to respond to them."

From, "Handling Stress and Dealing With an Emotional Bully."Click here to read this post.

"Nope, being busy isn't exciting. Boring is good. Because boring is not boring; boring is being healthy, living a balanced life that has serenity"

From: "Do You Know What It Means If You Are Too Busy?" For more, please click here.

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