The Dragon and the Gnat.......... 7/16/14

          Well, today, I faced the gnat that whined in the ear of my consciousness the past week.  I didn't say why I hadn't return his call.  He knew better than to ask.  When arrived at tonight's meeting, my emo-tional pulse was calm, collected.  Thank God for the fortitude gotten from hard work devel-oping my

Not Letting Others Define Us or Determine Our Moods................. 7/15/14

        I am interacting with difficult people.  Lately, I have been practicing patience and grace while relating with emotionally abusive people.  Now, I can see humor in situations that at one time would have had me shaking with the adrenaline associated with fear.

       My circumstances haven't changed.  I have.  I've learned to not

Experiencing An Unpleasant Controlling Person................ 7/9/14

     Hi, fatigued, I am, seeing six clients today.  Great day, though.  Each session was glorious, all were a unique adventure, challenging my training, education and stamina.  I have the world's best clients.

       Yesterday, I wrote about someone trying to control me.  Wrong move.  I am not

An Outside Source is Trying to Control The Innkeeper ...... 7/13/14

I am not a puppet

         I am feeling the effect of a force trying to control me.  No, I am not assaulted by the telepathic powers of an alien from outer space.  Such a creature is not applying supernatural powers, to sway me, mentally.

         No, it is an everyday person who cannot handle the word "no."   Numerous times, this individual has applied different approaches to get my attention and coerce me into following his agenda, do his bidding. That is being controlling. This fellow is crossing boundaries.  I don't care for it.  He is not respecting my right as an adult.  I can disagree, free to make choices, whether he likes them or not.

          I am glad I am not codependent, otherwise I would yield to the pressure, doing something I don't care to perform, to please someone I don't know, who doesn't care about me or my values.

         Boy, is this person making a mistake using this approach to motivate me. Being emotionally coerced doesn't work for me.   I need to be respected.

My Gratitudes:
1.  I do not surrender to emotional bullies.
2.  I appreciate the discernment I have. Not all people are equals. I steer clear from those who do not consider my values, who try overruling my life, by not noting what I want nor my feelings.
3.  I am thankful for boundaries. They allow me to live with sanity, order and ease.

I'll write more later today.  I am tired, needing to sleep. I will see you after I get rest.

How About You? 
What are your three gratitudes for today? 

The Innkeeper Getting High .......... 7/12/14

     This has been a killer week.  Today was particularly long.  This is when I review the week as it comes to a close.  Would it be possible to hear your high and low points for the past seven days?  Here are mine:

High Points
1.   I am connecting with someone who is exceptionally wise, gifted, and poetic.  My yin to this person's yang is marvelous.  My world is enlarged because of what we share. The caring, empathy and celebrating of life that happens between us is a gift from God I don't take lightly.
2.  I received a gift this week.  It let me know how much a friend appreciates me.  My confidence grows, and I thrive, when others root for me, genuinely caring about my happiness. I appreciate those in my life do not expect favors from me, wanting something from me.  I am a lucky man.
3.  I cried three times in one day, Wednesday.  Good tears.  This is a healthy sign on my emotional dashboard.  As a young man, I stuffed my feelings.  It was a form of not being alive.

      I love participating in life, being present, not trying to control it.  I am joyful about the wholeness that nurtures my spirit, mind and being, because of the recovery I have because of  Al-Anon 
Family Groups. 
4.  This week I got two client approval letters.  I am touched they are happy with how I serve them.  It makes what I do worthwhile.
5.  I was honest about my feelings with someone I treasure.  My heart fluttered as I was vulnerable with this person.  Yes, it was awkward.  Instead of camouflaging it, I spoke what was going on within. I also wanted to understand what was going on within this person.

      I value authenticity in relationships.  I am thankful it is a central characteristic in all the relationships I keep.

     This is enough for now.  I am tired. Soon, I will post my Low Points.  Please let me hear from you. 

Still Learning, Revisited ................ 7/9/14

       I am re-posting this.  Many of you were not around when I wrote this nearly three years ago.  May it encourage and inspire you.  Here it is:

Innkeeper's update: This ts the number one post.  I'd love hearing your response. What helps you overcome fear? It would be terrific if we could help one another, sharing what works, when confronting the bugaboo of anxiety.

**********************

A New Truth Learned This Month: 

         Earlier this month,  I agonized over a business meeting that loomed before me. I was wrenched with fear.  I was to lay out information regarding my finances during our time together. 
         I felt like I was about to be displayed, economically naked, before the two who were meeting with me. I feared they might critical or unsupportive.  Not cognitively, but emotionally, I was disturbed.  
         I called others, receiving support.  I sought prayer and insight about preparing for the upcoming conference. Even while doing so, I knew what I would show them would be fine; I've been writing outlines as a professional since my twenties.
        The two I met in the conference were impressed with what I wrote. I figured that would be the case. I knew this fact even while I was viscerally gripped with apprehension.
         At issue was the hurricane of emotions that violently circled within the innkeeper. The semi-dormant beast of having had a perfectionistic, critical father was raising its head. The creature would return me, emotionally, to a nine year old boy, if I wasn't careful.
       I'm happy letting you know that the steps I took during the days leading up to the business meeting allowed me to subdue this beast that once terrified me. He won't bother me for at least for another month. I'm grateful for the respite. 
       Progress not perfection, is better than no progress at all, especially when we're trying to rid ourselves from unwelcome dragons that dwell within the closets of our soul. I've learned a new truth about personal growth, as I struggled with my feelings, earlier this month, even though outwardly I appeared calm.  During the wrestling match between my present and past selves, I focused on doing what I could, not one day at a time, but fifteen minutes at a time.
       I nourished my present, healthier self. This part of me was able to overcome the siren calls of the scarring, traumatic moments in my past that usually woos the weaker parts of me and awakens the fears that lurk within.
       I have believed recovery is a result of placing principles above the weak areas in our personality. Now, I know personal growth requires more. I'm learning to place principles above my fears, too.
       Regarding those who met with me: they were supportive, caring, open and enthusiastic about my presentation. They shared from their experience strength and hope; they offered excellent insight and asked outstanding questions that clarified what I want to do, to move forward, professionally.  
       Their affirming response was the opposite of my anticipated fears.
So, How About You? 
1. What dragons are you facing, currently?
2. How do you slay the dragons that live within you?
3. Is there anything you do that makes it easier to overcome them? 
4. Who are members of your supportive network?

Christmas in July....................... 7/9/14

      I am enjoying Christmas in July, brimming with presents gotten in different ways.  Receiving unexpected gifts from surprising sources, I am.  One is equanimity.  It is returning.  It took awhile for this to happen after moving several times in the last

God Chooses the Character Defect He Wants Removed.............. 7/5/14

        Good evening.  I was thisclose to being impulsive.  Dangerously so.  No, I was not stand-ing at the edge of a precipice.  My life is so good I would never consider that.

          But, I lie.  I did stand on the edge of

A Rich Day ......... 7/2/14

Abundance is not in how much we have, but in how much we enjoy. 

         I'm enjoying plenty.

        Hi there.  Thank you, for visiting.  I am happy, proud, confused,  filled with a sense of ease.  Today, spending time with someone special---at length, was encouraging, uplifting. That filled the rest of my day with

The Antidote to Brittleness and Sharing a Room With a Lion......... 7/1/14

      Frustration reigned early this morning.  I wasn't happy.  But, life happens. The key during such times is respond-ing, not reacting.  Key.

      I kept my presence of mind, regarding this oppor-tunity to practice patience and breathe deeply.  I added a new