Resiliency. What extraordinary spinach do we need to gobble, that empowers us when tested? What steps can we take that increases our con-fidence when tried, when the wolf of difficulties reawakens childhood fears of rejection? How can we maintain perspective when fear of failure and being emotionally
I notice over in the sidebar that quite a few have been checking out this post, making it the third most read for this week. I'm bumping it up, for those have not seen it. For those familiar with it, I've added to it, making it worth a second look.
Traits of Emotionally Resiliency:
1. Those who bounce back from trauma and negative circumstan-ces have boundaries and are clear about who they are. They do not allow others to define them or deter-mine their moods. . They are not exter-nally referented.
2. Resilient people see the Big Picture. They understand that there is a difference between who they are and the cause of their present suffering. Bad things happen to good people because there are victimizers---emotional vampires and narcissists out in the world.
Rich Buhler in his book, Beyond Pain and Pretending, talks about the Law of Eligibility. It states that "bad things happen to bad people." It akin to the ancient Grecian view as espoused in its mythology. If you do something wrong, you'll be zapped by Zeus, becoming a greasy smudge on the sidewalk, or turned into a pig.
The good news: Rich Buhler informs us The Law of Eligibility is false!
Back in November, 2013, I had a horrific experience. It took place at an Al-Anon Family Group meeting. It morphed into abusive environment. Over more than four weeks, gossip, lies, slander, defamation, you name it, invaded what had been a sweet meeting. It was out of control. Someone brand-new to this program---but thought to be a good leader was asked to guide. A huge mistake. Being a codependent, she made matters worse, placing her damaged, vulnerable personality above principles, contributing to more chaos.