A Day of Many VariationsFrustration and joy, drama, a spirited disagreement, standing my ground marked today. Exhaustion does not haunt me tonight, allowing me to tend tonight to innkeeper duties before this day changes its name. I moved a week ago and I am out of sorts.
Plenty of items need
filing. Finding the right place for a myriad of items, making my house a "home," taxes my emotional and mental reserves, especially as I stick to my work schedule. The past few days, I crashed upon my bed when I curled up with a book, for a moment of rest.
How are you?
Visiting someone dear for several hours was the greatest source of this day's happiness. Connecting with this person is beyond comprehension. Our spirits resonate, when together. So it has been for a year and seven months.
A green-eyed gremlin attacked me----leaping upon my senses, during the visit. The last time this goblin confronted me was when I was fifteen. Today, this beast came thisclose to robbing my joy and peace of mind.
Jealousy.
Our visit was interrupted many times, driving me insane, exasperating me. I do not become this way, with others. Today, however, I was nearly beside myself. My emotional thermometer revealed how fevered I can be when with this person. Good for me, letting the walls of my reserve and detachment down.
*****
Drama In Alameda
With my life, I don't need a TV to experience drama. (I don't have one, haven't in more than ten years.) During a recent session, a client confronted me, using profanities. I'm different than most caregivers. I don't tolerate unacceptable behavior. I requested balance. As I respected him, I equally required that he be courteous in our interactions.
I asked "Bob" how his self-awareness was working for him. "Not to well," he replied. "How many people do you have in your life that speak to your heart, connecting and supporting you?" I asked.
None, according to him.
I asked him how did that feel. I mentioned maturity is meeting the demands of reality, that unlocking our potential requires support. We don't have the emotional and psychological distance to handle our issues alone.
This is when the fun started. I was lecturing him, he said. I asked him how I could have spoken differently, so that he would not feel this way. He had no answer.
Adhering To Boundaries, Placing Principles Above An Outraged Personality
He told me because he's paying me, I had to counsel him the way he wanted. I said I couldn't. I am not a codependent. That I was not in agreement with him. A patient doesn't tell the doctor how to perform, when he is doing a surgery, I replied.
Next, he told me what my motives were. Now, that is some power, if he had it. I replied he doesn't know what was going through my mind and I don't let others define me. It was wonderful, the calmness enjoyed while in the eye of this storm. During this session I won the Grand Prix, owning my power, standing in my recovery and integrity, enjoying life to its fullest.
How About You?
What was a recent occasion when you took a stand? I'd love hearing your answers.
I asked "Bob" how his self-awareness was working for him. "Not to well," he replied. "How many people do you have in your life that speak to your heart, connecting and supporting you?" I asked.
None, according to him.
I asked him how did that feel. I mentioned maturity is meeting the demands of reality, that unlocking our potential requires support. We don't have the emotional and psychological distance to handle our issues alone.
This is when the fun started. I was lecturing him, he said. I asked him how I could have spoken differently, so that he would not feel this way. He had no answer.
Adhering To Boundaries, Placing Principles Above An Outraged Personality
He told me because he's paying me, I had to counsel him the way he wanted. I said I couldn't. I am not a codependent. That I was not in agreement with him. A patient doesn't tell the doctor how to perform, when he is doing a surgery, I replied.
Next, he told me what my motives were. Now, that is some power, if he had it. I replied he doesn't know what was going through my mind and I don't let others define me. It was wonderful, the calmness enjoyed while in the eye of this storm. During this session I won the Grand Prix, owning my power, standing in my recovery and integrity, enjoying life to its fullest.
How About You?
What was a recent occasion when you took a stand? I'd love hearing your answers.
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1 comment:
Pablo, this was a much needed post for me today. Reading about your staying calm in the midst of a difference of opinion and when confronted by profanities was a good lesson for me. I, too had a similar situation and lost my emotional bearings. There were glimpses of recovery in between, yet the other side of me was not so successful. Thank you for constantly reminding me about responding and not reacting
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