This and That and Sunshine Too 2/27/14

      Good evening everyone.  I went to bed at 1:30 this morn, rising at 7:20 a.m., working from 8:30 a.m. until the hour met its twin, 8:30 p.m.

      Today, I engaged in conversations about God with those who saw me. The subject was turning our will and lives over

Dealing with Anger and Disappointment 2/27/14

“I don't possess these thoughts I have --- they possess me. I don't
possess these feelings I have --- They obsess me.” Ashly Lorenzana
Imiage: England: Northamptonshire by Tim Blessed.  Used by permission. 

     Good morning, everyone.  Yes, I'm back.  And I missed the midnight deadline.   It's getting exciting, here, at this inn of gratitude.  Soon enough, this place will be

Not Allowing Others To Define Us or Trigger Our Moods, Revisited 2/25/14

Gratitude is the fairest blossom
 which springs from the soul.
Henry Ward Beecher

       Here I am, again. And, am I glad.
My Gratitudes for Tonight: 
1.  The time had with a client went well.  Helping others make the most out of their lives is a joy.  I like being effective and supporting others at the same time.  Doesn't that sound like a good job?  I thankful for providing

No Longer A Martyr 2/22/14

 “The person in life that you will always be with the most, is yourself.  Because even when you are with others, you are still with yourself, too!  When you wake up in the morning, you are with

The Value of Nonviolent Communication 2/21/14

"Like an earring of fine gold is a wise man's reprove to a listening ear."
 Prov. 25:12.  The challenge is learning how to respond, not react, and
how to be loving instead of spiteful, when we are frustrated. 

     I'm featuring a post I wrote nearly a year ago.  Many of my currrent guests haven't read it.  So, here it is:
     Today, I wrote a response in a local paper.  I'm posting it here.  The writer of a column called someone a moron, labeling him as such, in the headline.  I object to

Letting You Know Me a Bit Better 2/20/14

Image: "England, Cumbria, Buttermere" by Tim
 Blessed. Copyrighted photo. Used by permission

     Yes, I'm up.  I shouldn't be.  An 8:30 appointment, tomorrow morning, awaits.  I'm not retiring for the night, yet.  Let me deviate from the normal focus of this inn, while we spend time together.

      Someone has

Happiness Is An Inside Job, Part II 2/18/14

      Where to begin?  Many stories to tell.  Adventures, physi-cal exertion, personal growth, along with romance thrown in, for good measure.

       I'm beat. Bushed. Wiped out.

       The past two days have been hectic. On top of that, I'm speaking Saturday at the monthly fellowship for the local district of Al-Anon Family Groups.  I'm squirreling away parcels of time, preparing for that occasion, also.

       There are other pressures I'm wrestling with, as well.  And such a life is the case for most of us.

        We are often overwhelmed with all the responsibilities doled out to us.  It helps to take life fifteen minutes at a time.  This is being present.

        We'll know more serenity.  It comes with living by recovery principles.  At times we need to HALT.

 "Fear makes true that which one is      afraid of."   Viktor Frankl. 

        The good thing is, we can still be happy, delighted with life, when pressured.  Joy isn't externally related.  It is not based upon the job we have, being in a relationship, the type of car we drive or how we are doing financially.

        Happiness is an inside job.  It is attitudinal. our pre-sent, persistent pressuring predica-ments can be at a pitch that without recovery, can push us towards perseveration.

        Our happiness is not because our circumstances change.  We change.

      This is the difference between surviving and thriving----enjoying life deeply with joy, knowing how to have a peace that transcends our difficulties.

       We are responsi-ble for our feelings.  We want to checkout how we can nurture ourselves when stressed.

       One outlet is ex-ercise. Going for a walk, cycling, work-ing out with weights, or doing yoga.  When we do, stress is released from our bodies.

       Keeping ourselves active, there will be no need for a windbreaker or vest on cool days.

        Despite the pressures faced, we can still be happy and thrive.  And no, we won't be crazy.

      Helping others overcome trauma is traumatic for me. This is where acceptance with recovery is the balm for healing the difficulties we experience.  It is not passivity, taking what comes our way. 

      Awareness is clear-headedness, seeing our circum-stances, accurately.  Then, we decide our options---what can be done to overcome our challenges.

      Staying in the solution regard-ing our fears, troubles, and anxieties, transforms our daily quota of betes noires. They become approachable, less frightening.  Our character grows, our life becomes manageable, our joy increases. 

      We move from the ghetto of child-like responses to won-drous valleys of emotional maturity. 

 My Gratitudes for Tuesday:

1.  Perseverance, the fruit of physical exer-cise and maintaining spiritual disciplines. It helps us to draw strength from our relationship with God.

       We are happier, we celebrate life, even when the storms of urban living shower us with ongoing pressure.

     Growth requires going beyond our comfort zones. It is realizing our limitations and appropriating a Power Greater Than Ourselves. Doing this, we are seizing life.

     Life is richer when we move beyond our limited understanding.  Inspirational literature helps us mature and become wiser. We gain a wider perspective.
2.  For writing. It provides mental clarity. This is especially true when we do an inventory of our lives.

      We empty what percolates within. Scribing is self-care, it is making time to get acquainted with our inner selves.
3.  Daily working on our recovery makes us grow.  We will be stronger than we were last week, more level-headed. We handle challenges more successfully than we did a few months ago.

      Working on our personal growth daily, life becomes more dynamic.

       Our days become more fulfilling with each passing month, day, hour, each minute. Recovery helps us move from being reactive to having greater executive functioning.  When we work on ourselves, "each character flaw [is] replaced by a new and good quality."  (One Day at a Time, p. 280)

The Best of All Valentine's Days 2/14/14

     Okay, let me declare it on rooftops, I'm in love!  There I said it. The journey has been marvelously, deliciously, slow.

      How does that grab you?  You say you didn't expect it?  Well, you haven't been reading my

Seeing Reality, Going With Life's Flow................ 2/13/14

      Nearly two years ago, I was getting to know someone.
   
       Intelligent was she and gifted.  The time spent was good, most of the time.  Relating with her reminded me of a story in Courage to Change.

       The story spoke of

A Day Like a Box of Chocolates 2/12/14

     Today had an assortment of quali-ties.  It was a good day, a wonderful day and a sad day, in addition to being a day with loving anticipation.

Good:  I spent time with an accom-plished writer.  He's

The Five Levels of Acceptance 2/11/14

"You can't undo anything you've already done,
 but you can face up to it.  You can tell the truth. 
 You can seek forgiveness.  And let God do the 
rest."   Unknown

      I'm bumping up this post, written in 2012........

       Recently, life has had more drama than

This Week's Buzzword: Patience. Enjoying a Great Big Life. Also, The Weekly Roundup: Highs and Lows ...................2/8/14

      Patience. This week had its drama, requiring the exercise of this silent and underused virtue.  Monday and Tuesday were demanding, physically and emotionally, I was spent by 6:00 p.m.

      Friday extruded me emotionally to places where I have never been before.  Really, I've been there, but in the past my reactions were

Visit With a Feline Ghost 2/7/14

     Good evening, all.  Are you enjoying life?  I am.  My week was full, and good.  Today, a visit with someone dear, and yesterday, with someone new, made for a wonderful seven days.  I'm working on a poem.  Yes, again; my third since November.  Before then, I hadn't written one in

Joy, In Spite of Exhaustion 2/5/14

    Last night I hoped to catch up on sleep, bedding down early.  Such was not my fate.  At 4:00 a.m. there was a fire twenty feet from my place. Oh brother. More drama than my weary body needed.  Five loudly idling firetrucks and thirty-plus firemen and female firemen kept

Friends vs. Acquaintances 2/4/14

This is Fremont, California, where I lived as a child.

       I'm thankful for friends.  In today's culture, the word "friend" is used frequently.  In most cases those listed as such are acquaintances, really.  I prefer in-the-flesh friends to cyber ones.  A digital smile from an internet friend doesn't compare to the warmth conveyed by a friend sitting next to me. 

             A friend is someone who is available, when we're

Revealing The News......2/2/14

Did you realize that this subject is
related to today's date?  Tutus: 2/2

       Last Wednesday, I startled Ted, a reference librarian at the Alameda Free Library.  For twenty-eight years, he's been a fixture at the place, pony-tail and all.  In the mid-afternoon, when the sun shines through the skylight into his face---while sitting at his desk---he dons a visor.  The only

Patience: The Forgotten Virtue of Urban Society. Recapping the Past Week: Highs and Lows 2/1/14

       Yes, it's that time.  At the end of the week I ask guests of The Attitude of Gratitude Inn to share their high and low points, the best and not so good, that happened