Busy Day

    Good evening,

Here I am again, facing the witching hours when this day shall soon change it's name. I'm doing the Limbo Rock, leaning back, leading with my knees, sneaking in under the day-is-changing wire.

   Whew! This day was a doozy, but good. My son Micael (Mee-ki [long i]-el) joined me as I was immersed with activity. He saw a day in the life of dear ol' Dad. I replaced the hose to the radiator, had lunch with friends, led a group session, visited with friends in the evening and dined

The Serenity Found in Discipline and Order

     Good evening everyone,

It's late, so I'll leave my gratitudes and may write some reflections tomorrow.

1.  I attended an amazing meeting today. It was fabulous. I enjoyed the discussion. It's great being encouraged and experiencing community with nineteen others. It was an uplifting and inspirational time. I definitely enjoy celebrating life.
2. I received a 21 speed bike. It was an unexpected gift, a couple of days ago. I'm thrilled. It will help me to exercise as I get around town using it.
3. My car broke down tonight. It looks like my radiator hose has cracked. Fortunately I was near home when it conked out, the steam spurting from the sides of my hood. My middle son and  I inched home at 10 mph, not wanting to overexert the engine. I'm happy this will be a quick and inexpensive fix. I'll work on it Tuesday.
4. My middle son and I have been together today. We'll spend a few days hanging out. It's always wonderful to connect with others.
5. I prepared for a meeting I chair tomorrow. I prefer order and a relaxed pace---preparing for an event at last minute creates more drama than I care to have. I'm thankful for the effectiveness we experience when we know our priorities and don't get side-tracked by urgent issues that are not a high priority.

 Image: "Scotland: Glen Nevis"  by Tim Blessed © all rights reserved, used by permission

A Bounty of Praise and Reaching Out To Some of the Guests of this Inn

Every happening, great and small, is a parable whereby God speaks to us, and the
art of life is to get the message.   Malcom Muggeridge   (Photographer's caption)

   Good evening everyone,

How are you?  The weather was phenomenal, my day was amazing and I eventually got exhausted.

My Gratitudes for Saturday:

1. I got to know someone new today. It was an interesting and enjoyable experience.
2. I may have an opportunity to practice another language on a regular basis.No, it's not Greek, Latin, Spanish, Japanese, Tagalog, Croatian or French.
3. I had a marvelous time with two clients today. I loved the time, so did they.

     I did put out a lot of energy; it got me tired. I took a nap this evening. I'm thankful for rest and ease, a lovely home, for tranquility, serenity and for

Emotional Health: Overcoming the Demon of Denial, Knowing Serenity 9/22/11

“As we express our gratitude, we must never forget
that the highest appreciation is not to utter words,
but to live by them.”   John F. Kennedy 

    I met someone I mentor. This person danced around is-sues needing atten-tion.

Being Unaware vs. Denial
    When he got de-fensive, I held my ground; prompting a discussion about the difference between being unaware and denial.

A Few Thoughts and Bon Mots from the Innkeeper

      Good evening,

My goodness, this has been a phenomenal week.Work has been good, times with friends has been good and this blog has had a  big spurt of visitors coming through the doors. In the past day we've had 600 visitors.

    I have to get up early so I'll write more tomorrow. Did you re-read yesterday's post? I totally revamped it. You might want to check it out.

My Gratitudes for Wednesday: 

1. This evening I spoke. I love doing so; the results were positive. A friend I haven't seen in 5 years showed up to hear me. It was surprising to see her in the audience. I'm grateful for pleasant surprises and

The Innkeeper Met a New Friend, She Was Completely Undressed at the Time ...................9/20/11

  "Try to bear patiently with the defects and infirmities
   of others, whatever they may be because you also
   have many a fault which others must endure."
  Thomas à Kempis, 1380-1471  (Photographer's caption)

        I just got in from my weekly trip to San Rafael.

        I met with others regarding business and finan-ces. Afterward, I saw a friend a few miles north.  In the bucolic Marin County town of Novato.

        She surprised me.  Totally unexpected it was. We had a nice time. It was fulfilling in more ways than one.

        She had prepared a meal.

      Little did I know that I was about to meet a new friend. Usually, extremely hairy females I'm not drawn to.  With this new friend I was.

      And how.  In this case, there were reasons that drew attention.

      The home was lovely. It was my first time there. Artistic ceramics, paintings and sculptures abounded. Cheerful home photos filled the place with familial love.
 
      The twenty-some recessed lights in the living room where tastefully implanted into the ceiling.  The expansive deck in the backyard and well groomed lawn was restful to the soul. The study overflowed with books---my kind of place.

     Then I met her;  She surprised me.  She appeared unexpectedly.  I was introduced to Ellie.

      In an instant, I fell in love with her.  She was a naked, green-eyed, raven-haired, limping, fat, dirty, constantly complaining, permanently-wounded-by-a-raccoon, house cat.

     There's a way I silently signal a cat that beckons them to me. She limped directly to where I sat on the couch. A cat with character always moves me to smile.

      By the end of the night, my face ached.

      Ellie's insatiable craving for affection met a stranger who deeply missed a recently deceased cat. The combination made for a happy chubby feline. The massage I gave to my former Russian Blue buddy Alexander, she received.

      She continually meowed her approval. This obese naked lady insisted that I minister to her. She was in kitty heaven; the innkeeper was happy, too.

       My friend who wasn't naked, spoke while she cooked.  We traded stories about relating to others whose perspective makes them gripe and complain as easily as it is for them to breathe. You know by now I enjoy staying in the solution.

        Finding healthy, constructive alternatives to our plight, when immersed with a problem, is better than harping upon them. You know that about me.

       The friend who cooked shared she's gotten feedback at work about her somber disposition.  Her authenticity raised her a few notches in my book. Awareness is usually the hardest work when we improve. Without it, change is impossible.

         It's necessary seeing the problem first before we can change it. My friend's desire for her countenance to match her faith was impressive.

My Gratitudes for Tuesday: 

1. I spent two hours today transforming clutter into order.

     I moved this month. Things were in boxes. It was a relief putting items away, creating more order. I still have plenty to do, but it was wonderful establishing clarity in my home.

2. I had a terrific session with a client. I love the subject matter we discussed----time management. A subject I've taught and train others to develop.
3. I was glad being with others in San Rafael. I'm clarifying my vision regarding work and the finances of my business. There's serenity in doing the numbers. I'm training my inner adult. Not addressing issues financially is not a disease of mathematics, it's a disease of low self-esteem.

       I missed last week's meeting---I was getting my house in order. I was happy to be there tonight.
4.  I delighted in knowing Ellie. The meal was fine, too.
5. I appreciated the unsolicited repast. Thoughtfulness from others are little kisses from God that remind me of His love for me. Better than the meal was eating the fellowship I shared with my human friend.
6. I'm glad that though I got lost on the way to seeing my friend, all was more than well by the end of the night. I'm thankful for persistence; as a result I was fed, had a wonderful conversation and met a new girlfriend: Ellie.

       I'm tired; I'm heading for bed. I'll share more with you tomorrow.

Image: "Scotland: Loch Cluanie"  by Tim Blessed © all rights reserved, used by permission

Not Being Triggered by Others---Holding True to Our Values

Fenton's has been around since 1894. This photo is an
 anomaly. Typically, there is a long line to get in, even at midnight.

      Hi there,
Today's topic follows my grati-tudes.  I had a humdinger of a day, but good.  I just got in. Before posting, I ate cinnamon peach ice cream I got at Fenton's. Yum!!  If you ever saw the animated movie "Up" this ice cream parlor was featured in it.

Gratitudes for Monday: 

1.  The weather was fabulous. The bay area weather can't be beat. No humidity, weather in the 70's.
2.  I met with a several and led a group session. The results were fantastic. I love it when intimacy, authenticity, openness, safety, trust and compassion are expressed in a safe venue.
3. The fruit of the meeting was heartening. We were able to discuss our powerlessness over different issues in our lives.
4. I got acquainted with terrific people.  My time with them was deeply satisfying. It met my need for connection, celebration of life and ease.

Not Being Swayed by Intimidators & Those Who Blame

    This evening, I had fun. Someone tried confronting me and a few others. I used verbal Aikido (for more about that, please click here). It helps remembering to be responsive to, but not responsible for the feelings of others.

      We can't make anyone happy, sad, angry or any other feeling without them giving us permission to do so.  A person wanted to blame me and another for her feelings.  Sorry, that's crossing of boundaries. We are responsible for our own feelings. If I bought into her reasoning, I would have agreed to being a codependent.

     There was a third person involved in this "dynamic" conversation. After this evening's drama, she told me she appreciated how the situation was handled. Years of experience and personal growth made it possible. Meditation, study and prayer helps me to respond and not react. It's easy to be externally referented---- allowing others to trigger our reactions, if we're not careful, don't stay in the moment and are not centered.

     Most of us are trained as kids, by our society, to react to the feelings of others. We accommodate the dramatic person's needs, with little thought to our own  feelings, needs and behavior.
     If we yield to their angry or imperious demands, we are taking the first steps towards developing an unhealthy relationship, usually with a narcissistic person. We want to be careful to not  lose our life of centeredness.

     This happens when we allow another person's feelings to determine our own. It also occurs when we yield our values and follow that of others, for the sake of maintaining that relationship.

     I appreciate friends who love me unconditionally. I don't surrender my values to have them. The ones who aren't this way, I bless and send on their way.  I realize they aren't God's gift for me. Releasing those who love me conditionally provides me with greater serenity and reduces the insanity in my life.

How About You?

1. What do you do, when feel responsible for the feelings of others?
2. What are important boundaries for you?
3. How do you handle emotional bullies?
I'd love hearing your answers.

Luckiest Man in the World

      Good evening,

I've had a super fantabulous day. The weather was magnificent and my middle son and I hung out. I saw clients and enjoyed the Island Town of Alameda with my son.

     This week, other than the U.S., in the Attitude of Gratitude Visitor Olympics, the most guests came from the Iberian country of Spain with 267 viewers. Kudos to you. In third place,  were our English visitors with 225.

      If you must know, there were 715 guests from the United States, with a total of 1985 for all the visitors. This figure numbers all guests, including those from 21 other nations, who dropped by this lovely week.

     I'm leaving my gratitudes. Tomorrow, I may have a chance to share thoughts I gathered from this week. 

1. I loved walking to work today, and browsing around town afterwards, on foot, with son number two. My office is two blocks from my house. I couldn't have a better commute. I'm grateful that my need for ease and inspiration are met through the work I do. I'm living out the vision I created earlier this year.

Getting Out of the Way, Seeing My Son Soar............... 9/16/11

A stunt kite. The type I use. On the west end of the
 island where I live, I can fly a kite daily. It has
two strings, making this airborne item controllable
and plenty of fun.  It's one way I decompress. 

      It is easy, getting enmeshed with others.

      We rescue them from their problems and drama.  It is a common way of ignoring our issues.  Focusing on the needs of others distracts us from facing our disturb-

Dealing With Disappointment, Part II...................9/14/11

    Good evening everyone,

Have you recovered from all the partying regarding the six month anniversary of this cozy inn?  It's time to knock it off. 

     The other day, I wrote about processing a disappointment regarding a request I made to my ex-wife. It was related to my recent move to the Island town of Alameda. I knew the possibility of this request being answered favorably was almost nil.