The Innkeeper Is Off to Go Sing

    Welcome to my friends from Canada, India, Malaysia, Russia and the United States, thanks for dropping by today.  A few moments, I have,  to post. Dropping by to visit a friend who's dying from cancer, is on today's agenda.  I'll take my guitar along and sing. Please pray for her and her family during this season in all of their lives. Armida.is her name. Thanks!

      I've been crying more lately. That's okay. As I experience more healing in my life, I find that tears come easily. Often, the cause is joy.  This is a big turnaround for me. As a youth and young man, I bottled things in.  I've learned over the years that it requires strength, to be gentle.

God Does the Work, All We Do Is Ask ............... 7/20/11

        Areas in our lives improve when we turn them over to God.  Progress is not a matter of working harder. Nor is it a result of thinking positively, despite what the self-help book proclaim.  Sorry, Oprah, Robert Schuller,Tony Robbins and Norman Vincent Peale. Our best efforts and thinking brought us to the state where we find ourselves.

        Life improves when we rely upon God.  We need His transforming power.  We get better when He works in the vulnerable areas of our lives.  He helps us transcend weaknesses.

     There's no humility in self-will.  How often we say, "I'll do this and I'll do that," without taking a moment to consider what God wants

The Need for Boundaries: Being Responsive To, But Not Responsible For Other People's Struggles ..7/19/11

    Good evening everyone, 

I'm about to take off for an evening ride on my bike. The day has been good and restful. Just what I needed. 

She's not opening her
mouth for a dental checkup

         It was a dramatic day, today.  I prefer avoiding them, when possible.  An intriguing conversation with someone I almost did business with, took place this afternoon; thank God for intuition---we need to trust it.  Glad, I am, that I did.

         A woman pressed me----expected me----to do a favor for her. Twice she asked me, while leaning into my personal space, to complete a financial transaction with her.  It would "really help me out," she said.  I did not answer immediately. I paused.  That's better than reacting, giving in to her pressure.

         What was shocking was I didn't even know her. The setting off the the red lights on my discernment dashboard, prompted me to say no.  Everyone is responsible for their circumstances. It's not my job rescuing others, especially when are forcing me to do so.  You know what that's called, right?  Yes, manipulation.

        The problem with being treated this way is that we are not allowed  to make choices. We are not allowed to be an adult.  Choices are a basic right for adults.  Having my free will definitely meets my need for autonomy, safety, harmony and peace of mind and soul.

        For more about that, click here for a great review of what is our responsibility, or rather, what isn't.  I'm not interested in pleasing unpleasant people. I don't have "stupid" or "abuse me" tattooed across my forehead.

         We are not "nice", when giving in to pushy individuals.  We are scarring them. Did you know that?  We are empowering them to continue their bullying.

Not Allowing Others to Dictate Our Mood Part II (Saying our no as gently as our yes. Also, the value of owning our emotions.) 7/19/11

       Good afternoon, everyone,

 I've a minute to jot a few notes in this registry to the Atti-tude of Gratitude Inn. Yesterday I met with a friend who blew her top. I'm not talking about her blouse.

      It was interesting watching her reaction and mine. She crossed boundaries doing something disturbing. The results damaged work stored on my computer.

     What was frustrating, was that three or four times I asked her to stop using my computer.  She didn't. I was not going to physically restrain her.

     I'm not into control. It has no appeal for me.  Controlling others violates another person's boundaries.

    After the harm was done, in the midst of this afternoon tempest, she vehemently expressed her sorrow.  "I'm sorry, Pablo. I'm sorry Pablo, I'm sorry, I damaged your computer!!"

    This was said as she leaned towards me, loudly exclaiming these words.

    It's hard receiving an apology when it is aggressively delivered.  I was uncomfortable.  I don't like apologies shoved down my throat.  Nor do I like guilt used to motivate me.

    It doesn't move me.

     While leaning towards and yelling at me, she said I should not be upset. Hey, wait a minute.  That's another fallacy.

     Problems or feelings don't get better, when ignored.

     They actually grow larger and more disturbing.  I'm thankful for the presence of mind. It allowed me to feel the emotions churning within.

     I asked her to stop telling me how my feelings should be. I said so calmly.  Using the Clint Eastwood model.

    I'm grateful for thinking out my options and exercising them. I'm thankful that I don't allow other people to dictate what I do, how I feel or what I am to think or see.  As children, we allowed our family, church and school to run over our boundaries.

    The tragedy is we absorbed these promptings---at times, brain washings---unquestioningly.  Being an adult is disagreeing, without being disagreeable.  We say our no as gently as our yes.

    We do so with kindness and courtesy.

"The highest form of wisdom is courtesy."   The Talmud

    Let me know what you think.

Image: "Wetlands: Sunset Reeds" by Tim Blessed © all rights reserved, used by permission

Propelling Past Perfectionism, Procrastination and Paralysis; Not Allowing These Qualities To Stymie My Vision

Opportunity knocked. Today, I opened the door.

      Hi there,

How you be?  Welcome to our new guests from Latvia, thank you for giving this inn a look. Hello to Germany and Malaysia, good seeing you, too.

      Whew, today was a doozy!  I went to bed at 4:20 a.m. this morning and my alarm woke me at 8:04 a.m. Those four extra minutes helped. :->  To a business meeting this morning, I went. The meeting commenced at 9:00 a.m. It was 10 miles away, but I made it there early.

      In the meeting I mentioned I'm starting a writing group----the response was positive.  I believe you'll see some of the results of this writing group in this inn, in the near future. Some of my writings and that of others will grace this inn.  If you would like to add your to this inn, send me your best shot and we'll see. How many of you are crazy enough to do that?? :->

I'm just one molecule in the ocean of life. (Remember that's what Paul means---small.)   I know this place will be enlarged as we hear from others----perhaps that can be you!

Happiness is a Choice, Part II .............................. 7/16/11

In all the ages there has never been and never will be a man or woman just like you. You are unique
and have no double. Every life is a fresh thought from God to the world.  (Photographer's caption)

       I know you might think it's late. But another way of looking at this post, is that it's early. My day was satisfying, even in spite of encountering someone's unkindness. I met with someone I mentor, in the afternoon. A bit of fireworks, took place during our time together, but that's fine, it didn't shake me: it was an opportunity to practice emotional Aikido.

        I asked this individual to start thinking about doing community service. (That's not what caused the fireworks.)  It's time he does. He'll think about it, he said.  What he doesn't know is

My Character Determines My Destiny 7/15/11

I'm mindful that our thoughts affect the words we use, our words influence
our actions, our actions shape our character and our character determines
our destiny.   (See below)

    Good early morning everyone,

Welcome to our new visitor from Ireland! It also nice to see our new visitors from Guernsey and Jersey Islands. Thanks for dropping by. 

My gratitudes for Thursday: 

1. This evening, I rested. Taking care of ourselves, is a good thing. If we're not careful, we can easily push our lives harder than what is best for our sanity or serenity.  It's difficult being in touch with our feelings if we are caught up with busyness----there are too many distractions competing for our attention and our feelings lose out.

Today Is An Anniversary 7/13/11

Being that this is a special day, I thought I'd show you a picture of the exterior to this inn. What
do you think? My back hurts me from pushing the lawnmower, grooming the lawn for this shot.

 

    Good evening,

How was your day? I spoke this evening. It was fun. I had some clients travel to hear me speak at this public event. I wasn't expecting that. I spoke about staying in the solution and how we want to invest in ourselves by taking the time to learn principles that will allow us to overcome the weaker areas of our personality.  I  mentioned that complaining only makes problems loom

Slowing Down; Removing, Inspecting and Placing a Fomerly Spinning Plate in the China Hutch: Taking Care of Self: The Circus Season is Over .........................................7/12/11

      Hello everyone,

My computer crashed while posting, all I wrote is lost. It's frustrating when that happens. I'm not in the mood to practice patience: I'm tired. Otherwise, this would be a good time to do so. Knowing my limits, however, is also a form of self-care. I've had a good day; but it was long. I'll try

Taking Care of Self, Relationally, Practically and Professionally .... 7/11/11

     Monday. What can I say?

Today was a study day, the type of days I love. A dear friend from Indiana and I briefly visited, it was a start. I invested time writing, developing my craft. This evening, I met with a client; afterwards, I met with others who are building their businesses.  Meeting with them, hearing their tips and successes  motivates me