Tuesday, March 17

Insane With Pain............... 3/17/15

      In agony. Saturday night, rolling in bed, the throbbing on the right side of my lower jaw, made it impossible to sleep until 5:00 a.m., Sunday.  Pain so bad, I couldn't think.  I was a zombie for the rest of the day, when I woke up.  Right now, I can't gather my thoughts too
well, I hurt badly.  I am letting guests to this inn know why
I have been absent from this inn of gratitude.  As I type, my jaw is throbbing, an unnatural grimace planted on my face.

       Sunday morning I was insane with pain.  An infected tooth.  I went
to a tooth carpenter, also known as a dentist yesterday, Monday.  Treatment to be continued next Monday, at 2:00 p.m.  Unbelievably, no prescription was given for the con-stant excruciating torment I am enduring.

       I can barely see the screen as I type. My normally big, round eyes are narrow slits, as I squint, while my face braces for the waves of hurt in my mouth.  The affliction causes me to hear and feel my heartbeat in my right ear,  I am gutting out discomfort to share what's going on with your innkeeper.  Your prayers are valued.  Really.


      Someone dear to me had her birthday today.  Yesterday, I wrote her a three page, single-spaced, typed, missive. I let her know I thanked God for bringing bringing her into the world.  I shared my ruminations since our last visit.  Well do I know priorities.  That effort overrode time normally spent leaving something here, another cause for my absence.

My Gratitudes, While Insane with Pain:
1.  For dentists. They are going to help me next Monday.  They did what they could yesterday.  They met my need for support, thriving and empathy.
2.  For Aleve and Ibuprofen. Even though I am taking the former every eight hours and 800 mg of the latter, six times a day, I still ache something fierce.  I don't want to imagine what it would be like without this medicinal help.  I am grateful my well-being is improving.
3.  That my dentist took me right away, Monday morning.  Thank God! I appreciated her kindness, concern and knowledge.
4.  That I am taking care of myself by taking care of my teeth, meeting my need for balance, as I spent much time helping others, I am also making time to take care of me.
5.  I was glad for being present while writing my letter last night.  I am thankful I expressed what I am experiencing because of her, not staying in my head, noticing, assuming, assessing, interpreting.  Writing what I did met my need to self-express and authenticity, transparency.
6.  I am thankful for the pain in my mouth, jaw, face, gums.  It will make me more grateful for my dental health, when it returns. My present situation is providing clarity and awareness about the need to take care of me.
7. I spoke with my oldest brother for an hour and ten minutes. A great time. He got choked up at one time and so did I,  later, when I spoke about my last time with my mom. It's terrific connecting with family, experiencing closeness, emotional safety and companionship.
8.  My brother and I plan to be in touch regularly.  That makes me feel warm inside, and I just sighed in relief as I wrote this sentence. It was great to understand where he is and to be understood.
9.  For a powerful session with a teacher.  I admire his honesty, vulnerability, and him feeling free enough to cry, several times during our time together.  He was relieved when we were done.

How About You?
What are your three gratitudes for today? If I can share mine, and I can barely see straight, I imagine you might be able to share yours, too.  Especially those of you from countries abroad.  Please let me hear from you.

     That's all for now. I am wiped out. I'll rewrite this tomorrow.  Right now, I need to get to bed. 


Syd said...

Hope that your pain is alleviated soon. I am blessed with good teeth and that is a thing to be grateful about for sure.

Superman said...

Dear Innkeeper,
You touched my heart when you mentioned the talk with your brother. That was beautiful. I'm very happy for you. I'm sorry about your tooth. I'm so grateful that you are in good hands.

Thumper said...


I have a sister I long to connect with. I am in the process of doing so. We have sadly never been very close, but I know that can change. Being authentic and finding the time to connect is a blockage I am working on. Thank you for the reminder about the importance of sibling connection.T

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