|"Like sunshine after the rain, and a lovely lonely flower|
in a bleak environment, so is the joy we can know even
in the darkest and most painful of times. And so it is,
when we know recovery and the love of a gentle, gracious
God" The Innkeeper
Pain stab-bed me. I was robbed of the equanimity I usually enjoy. It was stolen by physical torture.I could not sleep until 5:00 a.m. Sun-day. After two hours of bles-sed sleep, nature called. Then, a par-oxysm of another kind accosted me.
It brought me to the floor of desperation. It lifted me to the height of something else.
The wooden sides to my bed are high. They are even with the mat-tress. I swung my legs over the side. I tried getting out of bed as I headed for the bathroom. The frame created an outburst of cramps in my right leg.
They turned my calf muscles into stone. Agony seized them. Three times I planted my feet on the bedroom floor. Three times, convulsive leg spasms took over my calf muscles. For more than twenty seconds,
The pain threw me back in bed. I writhed while moaning in the early hours of Sunday. What a way to start the week.
An exposed nerve in a tooth, made me insane with pain. More tired than when I've cycled 40 miles (64.37 km) in a day, I was. Sleep was not my friend. I was also enjoying the lingering remnants of my late cat Precious. I was a Happy Meal for the fleas she left behind.
I also needed to use the restroom and couldn't. Wow.
There was no relief for my bladder. My legs were in painful spasms. All this happen-ing at once. The story of a fellow who woke up discovering his water bed was leaking, came to mind. The man then
That was not going to be my lot, Sunday morning.
If I saw an film character suffering from all the maladies I was struggling with, at one time, I would think it far fetched. But it happened at 7:15 a.m. Sunday morning. And I laughed, even though in severe pain.
So, My Gratitudes:
1. For patience and the presence of mind that recovery offers. Recovery gives me perspective, including humor, during rough times. I don't let the green monsters of projection define my reality. Because of recovery I do not believe I did something wrong and I was punished with the physical challenges endured this week.
2. I had fabulous times visiting with the staff at my dentist's office and the office of the oral surgeon I saw today. Four asked for my services. Three I am seeing next week, appointments were booked. Didn't expect that.
3. For the many who prayed for me as I went through the most difficult week, physically and emotionally I have known in years.
4. For not allowing my mind to prevent me from experiencing life and being in touch with my feelings. This was especially important this week as I experienced death to comfort, depletion of my finances and a huge disruption to my work week, cancelling many appointments.
5. I gave a presentation to colleagues yesterday on holding differences, maintaining multiple perspectives in a relationship. Doing so, greatly improves our relationships with others. Several who attended approached me afterwards wanting me to coach them.
6. My bike has been refurbished. It better than I have ever had it----better than new. I am thrilled! I will cycle tomorrow. Can't wait!
How About You?
What are your three gratitudes for this weekend? You heard mine.