Wow. Double wow. A phenomenally excellent football game was the gift given to those of us in the Bay Area. My sons and I enjoyed the brutal slug-fest of a contest; my oldest son remained and decided to be late for work, in order to not miss the outcome.

   We hung out at Bowser's on Park Avenue in Alameda. The contest was decided until the last six seconds. 

  My Gratitudes for Today
1. I'm feeling better. 
2. I have a fantastic family and I'm thankful for my relationship with God. 
3. Many are frequenting this inn. I'm glad you find something that makes your stay enjoyable. Make sure to enjoy the various paths of posts that lead you to an Attitude of Gratitude.
4.  The online name for this inn has IMPROVED! You can now reach me by typing in The Attitude of Gratitude Inn. This address is less cumbersome than the previous: profilesgooglecomPaulNorthernCal.blogspot.com. 
5. I purchased two books. 
       One, a book about literary criticism of Shakespeare (I resisted the urge to buy one tome on his sonnets and poems.) The other buy was a classic book of poetry I once had. I lost it and love its contents dearly. 
       I'm in heaven to be reacquainted with this old friend that has spanned decades. It informed, shaped and created important parts in my worldview. 
6. I met a wonderful sales clerk at the Books Inc. store. With her help I ordered two other books that are useful for research. I'm excited seeing gaps in my library getting filled. God is restoring to me the years the locust have eaten. 
7. I'm meeting two special friends tomorrow. 
      First, time with a friend with whom I had the most special conversation of 2011.  I eagerly await our visit. Later, I may ride my bike with a friend who'll bring hers, weather and health permitting. We'll scout out the charming, quaint, safe, picturesque city known as Alameda. 
      Now, what might be your gratitudes? I've shared mine. Would it be possible for me to hear yours? Thanks!

Hope for the Past: Overcoming Negative Legacies ............1/13/12

Image: "Countryside: Wheat Flower" by Tim Blessed. Used by permission.
 All rights reserved. Copyrighted photo. Photo added to this post 3/4/12 

     If you have not read the post written earlier tonight, you might want to. I wrote the ten month anniversary post. In it are some surprises. 

Gratitudes for Friday the Thirteenth!

1. Writing, I love writing. 
     Even though it can be aggravating, when trying to express myself. It's also fun: like a Rubik's Cube. It can be

A Special Day 1/13/12

I'm Still Recovering 

         I was reclusive and considerate at the same time, this week. I would not wish anyone depleting the number of

The Innkeeper Has Returned, In a Fashion

 Victorians are common in Alameda

 
       Good evening friends, fellow visitors to this inn of encouragement,
I'm learning the ropes as to handling my week-long bout of illness. Maybe I should have eaten some limes.

   Good evening everyone,

Now a word with some of you who drop by and post:

Kelly, you must be happy with all the support your getting from your family.
Muse, thanks for your recent comments. How was your weekend? What do you look forward to, this week?
Paul S,  are you there? You've my prayers as you develop your business. Thanks for your support.
Phyllis, are you still dropping by?How are you doing with your walking regime?

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         I'm still ill. My mind a bit addled. I'll be up and running soon. Right now I'm laying down and my nose is runny. You know what it means if a guy has a runny nose and smelling feet? (Check the answer at the bottom of this post.)

I'm Getting in My Gratitudes: 

1. I saw a sweet movie: "War Horse."  An old fashion film by Steven Speilberg. A  boy's love for his horse, sort of deal.
2. I saw another sweet movie: "I Bought a Zoo." It's was a welcome change seeing films that resorted to wholesome virtues and avoided the features found in many movies---sex and violence.

      I saw these two films, for free, early last week. I was well, then. Right now, I'm hunkering down at my place in Alameda, in my bedroom. I'm a generous guy but when it comes to germs, I'd rather keep them to myself, thank you.
3. I'm thankful for my new bed. I needed it, and how, now that I've been sick.

    What can you share, that might uplift your innkeeper? I'd love hearing from you.

   Tomorrow, if I feel better, I think I'll share with the visitors of this inn how I'm going to deal with someone who had been unreliable in my interactions with him.

        Have a terrific Tuesday; may it be great day and may it fill with plenty of gratitude.

Where Has the Innkeeper Been?

 Good evening everyone,

I've been sick with a cold. Every remedy I've tried has not worked. I slept all day yesterday and slept in today. I have stories to share, but I'll wait until I'm feeling better. It's no

My Gratitudes for this fine evening. 

1. My business is growing. 
2. I met with three clients yesterday---I enjoyed the sessions we had. 
3. I had dinner with my oldest son.  
4. I bought a new mattress---can't wait to try it out after this post. 
5. I'm sick. I'm not thankful for that, but I am grateful for the opportunity it provides me to slow down.
6. I worked on putting up new shelving in my kitchen. I can always use more shelf space there. 
7. I'm going for a walk around Lake Merritt with a friend tomorrow. Can't wait; the distance is 3.1 miles
8. Several of you posted comments this week. Thanks for doing so. 
9. We had new visitors from Saudi Arabia, welcome!
10. I saw a sweet movie yesterday. "I Bought a Zoo, " a true story. 
11. On this day, more than 30 years ago, I surrendered my life to God. It was the best decision I've ever made. I am grateful for knowing His Presence, Love and Strength. 

  Boy, did I have an interesting and startling day.  I'm tired so I'll work on this blog again, tomorrow. But this is what I have for this late evening.


      This evening, I faced fears and went back to an unpleasant environment. The results were much better than I expected. Three clients of mine showed up, they came to see me, they knew I'd be there.  We haven't connected in awhile, due to the holidays and they wanted to get ahold of me.
     At tonight's event, I spoke up. As you know, I enjoy speaking publicly, I've been doing it for several decades, since I was 10 years old, when I ran for office in school. 
     I mentioned no one can make us happy, sad, angry or any other feeling, without us giving them permission to do so.  Saying, "You get me mad, or you hurt me" is not a true statement. It is our choice to let others affect us. 
    This fact allowed me to not be distraught when someone yelled at me, at this same event, last week. I'm human, tonight, before walking through the door of this meeting, I said a prayer. I released my feelings to God. I asked for His grace, love and acceptance to be with me while attending this gathering, and for his message to flow through me, if I spoke.  I was apprehensive before entering the room, though----who likes someone correcting them, in front of fourteen others, especially when it was based on speculation, not fact?
     While sharing with this group, I mentioned that when we try controlling others, we take away that person's dignity. One basic right of any adult is the ability to make a decision.  Control by someone else does not grant them that right. Everyone was quiet after I spoke.
      I saw a friend at the event, we planned on going for a walk around Lake Merritt this Saturday.

1. I'm thankful for facing my fears tonight. 
2. I look forward to Saturday's stroll
3. I met with John S. this evening, after everything else was over. I enjoyed our conversation at Juanita's on Park St. The same place I had dinner with another friend, last week.
4. This afternoon, I met with someone I mentor. We processed the issue of resentment. It was a rigorous but good time. 
     Unwanted Drama in the Afternoon
       Shelves in a room of mine crashed down while I was studying in that room----normally I would sit in chair placed under these elevated shelves. I'm glad they didn't fall on me. The shelves are very heavy and would have hurt me, badly. For some unknown reason I changed my routine today.
     Today, I choose to use my desk, the first time since I put the shelves up, two weeks ago.  I'm thankful for the angels watching over me, I prefer not getting any more lumps and bruises than I do. 
      The crash of books and boxes from two shelves, while studying, startled me and upset me for more than an hour, which is unusual. I think the fact I was concentrating and didn't see it coming was what disturbed me. I was preparing a presentation at the time. Having to pick up all the junk on the floor and not being able to study, or work out, which I planned to do afterwards, was frustrating. 
5.  I'm glad that I'm allowing my feelings to be felt when this catastrophe occurred. For the longest time I used to turn off my feelings, only being cognitive about life. I'm glad I feel more, and more myself and as result I don't experience the depression I once felt when I was younger. 
6. I wrote a letter to a friend from the Ukraine, not long ago. I heard from her. I'm thankful for the connection we share.
7. I scribed another letter to another friend today. I grateful for what I wrote, even though I wrote something that might of been hard for him to hear.

Must Have's and Can't Stands: Necessary for Healthy Relationships .........................1/3/12

“Gratitude is when memory is stored in the heart and 

not in the mind.”  Lionel Hampton.  Image: Cumbria: 

Great Gable by Tim Blessed.  Copyrighted, all rights

 reserved. Used by his kind permission.

        I'm thankful for a terrific weekend,  connecting with friends. Their accepting and positive nature only validates living diligently, consciously, with strong relational boundaries, holding on to relationships that are good for me and avoiding those that aren't.  Boundaries strengthen.  They filter out unacceptable behavior. 

"Must Haves" and "Can't Stands"

        One source of boundaries are my "Must Haves" and "Can't Stands."  They help winnow relationships.  Applying this list, helped me create an amazing group of loving, supportive people.  I do not connect with those who drain me of joy, energy or hope.  This list acts like a garland of garlic I wear around my neck, keeping me from emotional vampires. 

       What does your list of "Must Haves" and "Can't Stands" look like?   Whoa, if you don't have one.  If we aim at nothing, that's exactly what we get.  How will you know if someone violates your boundaries, if you don't know what they are?

        Some "Must Haves" that make my friendships less frustrating: 

    1. I require mutuality and equality.  The relationship needs to be a two-way street.  If it isn't, that's a deal breaker; reciprocity has to b e there. 
    2.  In our conversations, I look for mutuality. When I'm putting myself "out there," it's great knowing their thoughts, needs and feelings, too. 
    3. I relate with positive people, who stay in the solution. We'll mention the problem once.  After that, we talk about what we can do to counteract the troubling issue. 

 "We get what we tolerate."

         I need relationships that energize me, not enervate me. Complaining doesn't provide growth.  I relate with people who know their values and take healthy steps towards the life they envision. 

        Every time I use healthy principles to tackle challenges, I create a better today.  I look at my options.  I consider what I need to do to maintain my serenity. It's hard being strong, characterologically, if we are morose, have a defeated spirit, surrendering to demon of depression. 

4. I avoid emotional vampires.

"If we feel like a doormat we need to get off the floor."                  Courage to Change, p. 361

      Yes, it's fine, feeling negative feelings. It's true, grieving is important. But we need to go beyond our consternation and look at the healthy steps we can take. 

      We have choices, we have options, we discover more, when we use bond with God and our community of safe people, our Balcony People. Which leads me to........

 5. I relate with people who live in community, not those who isolate.

      Getting the most out of life, happens when we live in community with vibrant others. We don't get our healing in isolation. We need the emotional and psychological distance that allows us to address our problems. Discerning friends offer that.

       I'm fortunate, I have them.  However, growing a community takes time. Mine is the result of cultivating my relationships for twenty years.  Good friendships require time and grace and discernment and commitment.  Excellent friends need to be tended to. 

      One of my few gripes---and you know I'm a positive guy---is how cyber communities, Facebook in particular, cheapen the word "friend."  Mine would die for me.  Would those on our Facebook list do that?

      No, they wouldn't and shouldn't. What are termed as such, there, don't have that depth of love.

A man that has friends must show himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticks closer than a brother.                               Proverbs 18:24

In other words, if we want to have in-depth friendships, we need to be one, modeling what we would like to see in our companions. 

How About You? 
What are some "must haves" and "can't stands" that you want to apply in your life?  

Monday Gratitudes

1. I got rest. Mondays are usually my Sabbath.  I need it as I plan on getting several practical matters settled tomorrow. I'm happy seeing that I'm using persistence and consistency to tackle unpleasant issues. It feels good being effective.
2. I'm thankful for the closeness I feel belonging to a great group of people.I'm thankful for discernment that allows me to know which people are safe for me and who are not.
3. I had wonderful time with a friend this evening.  I value companionship and the compassion that is mine when I remain in touch with those who are dear to me, who are part of my Balcony People team.


Okay, so what are your gratitudes?

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