The Vision of This Inn.................... 12/31/21

         Can you think of a better way of starting this year than considering your gratitude? 

Neither can I.  This inn's goal focuses on encouraging

Staying On Topic, Not Letting Someone Change the Conversation 12/31/21

     The other day I mentioned to some-one concerns I had with him.  His re-sponse was a doozy.  Instead of addressing what I said, he found fault with how I expres-sed what troubled me.  

      That is a control pattern.  It usually reveals a person skilled at avoiding issues.  We validate their point if we get caught up with the tangent they pre-sent. 

Happiness Is a Choice............ 12/31/21

        We crave happiness.  May the following help us see good times are not in someone else's power to give but in all the joy we take.  Attitude determines how much happiness we will know.

 "As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he."  Abraham Lincoln e-choed this sentiment when he

Thoughts to Ponder as the New Year Is Upon Us............... 12/31/21

     Happy New Year!

     The following was posted last year on this date.  The ideas still ring true today.   May they encourage and inspire us as we usher in 2022. 

     Here's the post: 

     The New Year is upon us.  It could not come soon enough.  Seeing this year in the rear-view mirror gives us perspective. 

Looking Back at What 2021 Taught Us.................... 12/31/21

     It has happened.

      The year coming to an end.  Time for a review of what transpired in the last twelve months, in this Age of Covid.  Shall we begin? 

Being Careful as to Whom We Relate With..................... 12/29/21

     Last week I was authentic with someone I have known for several years.  Our friendship had been positive, strong, supportive, and encouraging. 

     I asked a question, trying to get clarity about our relationship.  He reacted strongly and negatively.  I loved his response. 

     I was surprised and happy at the same time.  Being the Attitude of Gratitude guy, I was also pro-foundly grateful. What made me

The Focus of Tomorrow................ 12/24/21

    

      I welcome this Advent season.  Thank you for dropping by.   I wish you a time of serenity as we draw near to the date celebrating

A Christmas Angel 12/24/21

  

      At a loss for words, my breath taken away.   This video produces

Second Favorite Christmas Story.............. 12/22/21

   Innkeeper's Note:

   How are things going for you? I re-main very grateful.  I leave a Christmas story I wrote for this inn, my second fav-orite. I hope it makes

Good Will Awakened in the Midst of a Killing Field on Christmas Eve................... ..................12/20/21

WWII photo of the Ardennes Forest

          The following I wrote years ago.  I re-vised it this year.  A tradition is posting it during this season. 

********

        I hope life is treating you well. For many, this Christmas season is

Better Relationships, Using the Feedback Formula............ 12/08/21

     The Feedback Formula provides peace of mind and healthier relationships.

     Do you know what helps us when some-one troubles us?  This tool.  It allows us to express our feelings and needs clearly without being aggres-sive. 

      It reveals our response if the prob-lem persists.  We speak our truth, which reduces frustration and increases our serenity and ease when enduring difficulties. 

The Source for Happiness................ 11/30/21

       This month focused on gratitude, thanksgiving, like this inn.  I do not smile more than I do this month; a falsehood concludes that happy people are thankful. 

       Instead, being thankful makes us happy.  No more significant boost to life than being filled with gratitude.  In prayer, simply saying "Thank you" of-ten expresses more than long-winded orations.

What Makes Us Happy Today and Everyday.......... 11/25/21

        Dear Guests to the Attitude of Gra-titude Inn, I reso-nate with the message in today's illustration.

        I appreciate today's focus: gra-titude.  Each home in the United States

The Antidote to Frustration and Self-Loathing...... 11/24/21

      Wishing every-one a Happy Thanksgiving tomorrow.  Many suffer from worry, and multitudes endure the crip-pling power of depression.  

    Frustration, self-loathing are the plight of many.

    An Attitude of Gratitude coun-teracts these ills. Tomorrow is the central day of this inn.  May this Thanksgiving Day be your best.

      
     Cherishing loved ones, counting our blessings are

The Thankful Life We Have When Knowing Recovery 11/24/21

     I enjoy life thor-oughly.   Dark sha-dows are overcome by principles that help me embrace life with vigor, hope, and strength, not fear or timidity.  One of the principles is that as I become comfortable

A Surprised, Calmer, Happier and Less Reactive Innkeeper............ 11/21/21

    So many experi-ences when I met my sister yesterday.  

    We hadn't seen each other for a long while, and getting together met my need for con-nection and self-ex-press.  We celebrated life together. 

    Our time also met my need for downing a margarita.  Ahhh!

Young, Again 10/31/21

     Yesterday, before sunset, I flew my stunt kite for two and a half hours while at the  Fort Bragg headlands.  

      The city lies eight miles north of the town of Mendocino.  My first time flying it in five years.  Kiting slows the pace of my life.

A Month Filled with Gratitude.......... 9/30/21

    Gratitude swells within for the ever increasing joy and sense of ease I had this ninth month of the year.  The key elements asked for letting go and humility. 

Facing Fear... 9/29/21

      Facing fear.  

      My experience with difficult times reminds me our imaginary con-cerns portray our problems in a more significant, more damaging, and dramatic light than what-ever difficulty we face.  The issues we

Being True When with Others and Gentle with Ourselves......... 9/21/21

     My workload grew to dou-ble the size of two months ago. I provide tools allowing others to get out of their funks. Dur-ing this season of the Covid 19 pandemic, many ask for help from their depression, fear, short temper, and anxiety. 

     Last Friday, I took a break from my crowded schedule.  Stuart and I enjoyed the day together. 

The Innkeeper Flew Off a Cliff ............ 8/31/21

      Getting my car        back soon. 

      After weeks of negotiating with my insurance com-pany for a better settlement, my car receiving meticu-lous care at an autobody and re-pair shop for the last two weeks.  

     On July 10th, my car flew over a cliff.  A friend was in it. And me.

     I wasn't driv-ing. Fancy that. 

     Before that won-derful experience, I could not drive by midafternoon. Heat exhaustion overtook me.  

     Earlier, we spent time exploring Lake Berryessa, scrambling toward a place to have fun. A six-mile stretch of gravel road our destination.  Our plan included drifting my car, and driving it sideways on that slippery road. 

      The extreme heat had me feverishly craving to pass out.  My friend stopped me from doing that.  From a safety in-service at work, he knew to not let me conk out.

      I could not breathe like a person underwater for 10 minutes.  My heartbeat was an out-of-control drum.  My body temperature flew like an eagle reaching for the sky.

    

     My eyelids could not stay still.  It was impossible to see or think.  The weather rose to 120 degrees that afternoon. (49.0 Celsius)

 

     Physically, no hope existed for my body in its delirious condition.  Panting like a dog left in a car on a sweltering day with shuttered windows best described me. 

     I suggested driving to a nearby lakeside farm to my friend, Eric, to seek aid.  When we pulled into their driveway, family and friends were sitting in the shade in the front yard. Their response just like ambulance paramedics when they saw me.

     Plastic bags filled with ice were under my armpits within four min-utes.  They had me remove my socks and shoes and poured ice water on my toes and ankles.  A yellow towel soaked in cold water gently wrapped around my neck.

    I'm glad they did not have me take off my pants, doing ice treatment there. 

    My head was doused.  I was as wet as a duck and grate-fully soaked, feeling im-mediate relief.  

     

     I chugged down the ice-filled glass of water they offered.  My body temperature gradually reached normal.  Soon, more fun to be had. 

     With many thanks, we left this friendly farm. Within five minutes, my companion drove us off a cliff.  With size 13 feet, his right sandal caught the accelerator pedal.  

      Instead of slowing down, we sped up.  We flew over a boulder-strewn dirt embankment with the windows down.  Dirt poured into my wide-open eyes as I sat there, shocked, strapped into my car.

      We tumbled down the ravine.  It was certainly more exciting than drifting. We careened towards three closely spaced redwood trees. 

     This heart-pounding adventure created a wild, spontaneous roller coaster ride, without the roller or coaster.  

      And ten times deadlier, too. Silly me, earlier, while delirious and overheated, I forgot Eric wore sandals.

      It escaped my mind when I asked him to scoot behind the steering wheel. I don't drive two blocks wearing sandals while handling my car's stick shift.  I remove them. 

      What was I thinking this afternoon? 

 

      I mean, his footwear was a ginormous size thirteen!  How could I overlook this safety issue?  Oh, yeah, right, at that moment, I was physically unable to think. 

    

        Shrubs stopped us before the vehicle slammed into the majestic but solid redwoods. For the next four days, I re-moved bits of dirt scratching my eyes, uncomfortable me-mentos of our weekend trip.

      With the bit of sense I owned, I called a tow com-pany.  Four hours later, a pony-tailed sixty-something tow truck oper-ator who jumped around the ravine as deftly as a goat used a steel cable to winch us out of a gully smack dab in the middle of the boondocks.

      My vehicle nosed into the bushes one hundred and fifty feet below the country road, providing my first experience in a flying car.  As it happened, all time stopped, and the car  bumped downwards in slow-motion.

      The tow truck driver's efforts cost 546 bucks. (503 Euros). He was worth every penny.  Once firmly on the road, I drove my baby one hundred and thirty miles home.  

     

     This sports car drove straight as a ruler down the highway as we re-turned to the San Francisco Bay Area. The vehicle did not stutter, the suspension was not damaged, and the wheels were not bent.  The en-gine ran well.  

    I rejoiced as if I were gulping down a rhubarb pie with whipped cream.  My baby showed healthy signs of life.  Instead of being dead, she demonstrated exuberance and vitality, though I drove her cau-tiously home. 

     Looking in the mirror of this roadster, I thought my hair had turned greyer, and I now had white hair because of that afternoon's flying adventure. This grey matter revealed itself as dirt when it swirled around my feet when I showered that night. 

     That Saturday, I had two adventures I could do without.  But Eric and I are thankful.  We are alive and kicking. 

 Note: 

      In January 2022, Eric and I visited the accident scene.  We had tumbled down a dirt and boulder-strewn embankment.  At the time, the ground was chopped up, re-sembling Styrofoam popcorn used for packaging. 

      The nature of the dirt slowed the car down.  During our revisit, we noted if we had gone off the cliff one second later, we would have slammed into massive, more than 300 feet tall redwood trees abutting the immediate shoulder of this forested country road.   

       You would not be reading this post. Or anything that followed.  Eric and I would be dead. 

"God's man is immortal until his            work is done."        Kenneth Wuest

      It is clear and fortunate God still wants to use both of us.

     Below are my gratitudes.  I'd love reading yours.

Gratitude For:

1. For my health and surviving flying off a cliff while in my sports car. 

2. Opportunities to slow down.  Do-ing so meets my need for rest, ease, and peace of mind.

    It is an easy mistaking ac-tivity for ac-complishment.  According to the Pareto Principle, 80% of what we do produces only 20% of the results we want, creating wasted time.  Twenty percent of how we spend our time produces eighty percent of the results.  This positive outcome re-veals working smarter, not harder. 

     Working on the productive twenty percent opens up my schedule, providing more time for rest and moments to enjoy the wonders life offers. 

3. For a vocation that nourishes me and provides adventure, creativity, and significance.  I love my work.  My need for effectiveness and con-necting with others takes place.

      During this Covid 19 outbreak, many suffer from depression, anxi-ety, and ear.  I enjoy helping others learn to make sense of the craziness that assaults them.  They develop skills and responses that help them overcome their negative feelings. 

4. Having a life I love and friends to go with it.  It is emotionally encour-aging to be smiling throughout the day. 

Like not dying after going over a cliff. 

5. For being persis-tent, detailed-orient-ed, determined, and disciplined.  These qualities help me move forward, knowing progress and success. 

6. For worrying eighty percent less than I once did.  Living seventeen years and five months with recovery make the difference.  It taught me:

a. The loudest voice within me, my emotions, are not necessarily the truest.  

b. My feelings are simply emotions, not necessarily a prophecy. 

c.  I can say my no as gently as my yes. 

d. If I feel like a doormat, I must get up off the floor. 

And perhaps most importantly:

e. As I become more comfortable with my likes, dislikes, dreams, and choices, I am increasingly able to risk other people's disa-pproval.  This is overcoming codependency. 

7. Because of recovery, I know how to have authentic relation-ships. I do not relate openly with everyone. The key is developing my people picker---discernment.

      But with discernment, I know how to find positive, kind, and sup-portive people.  I connect with them. 

A Helpful Perspective That Reduces Tension, Fear 6/30/21

      "Let Go and Let God," a recovery slogan.  

       Gratitude I have for it.  An emotional lifesaver,  a worry reducer.  

       Two days ago, I lost my wallet.  Several credit cards, my driver's license, and other items that allow me navigate everyday living.  A couple of weeks ago, I left it at a 7/11 convenience store, when

Drama on Father's Day, the Solution 6/24/21

 

    Last Sunday, Father's Day celebrations took place.  In two weeks the Fourth of July fireworks would be set off throughout our nation.  Little did I know fire- works 

An Overview of Acceptance. Using Recovery, We Thrive............ 5/31/21

The Dictionary Definition of Acceptance

        There is the dic-tionary definition of acceptance.  It is akin to resignation.  "I have to accept or resign myself with the fact my wife or husband is control-ling."   Or, "I have to accept that my rela-tionship with a loved

Doing Backflips 5/21/21

         I had dramatic times since the last time visiting with you, guests to this inn. 

         One experience took place after being genuine with someone wanting my

Emotional Sobriety: Having EQ......... 4/30/21

       Reflections dur-ing the end of this month of openings.  The month of April is named as such because this is the month when flowers start blooming or opening up. In Span-ish, the name for this month is Abril.  It is easy seeing this con-nection to the Span-ish word abrir, to

My Buddy, Part I 4/29/21

       I am reintroducing an old post.  

       It has been seven plus years since I've dusted off this story and shared it here.  It is about a friend-ship that reaches a tender part my heart and nurtures it beyond mea-sure. 

      I found it in the dusty bins in the library of this inn of gratitude.  It is among my favorites, awakening emo-tions each time I revisit the series posted above as "Buddy of Mine."  

      I cry good tears.   Every time.   

Innkeeper Ruminations 4/16/21

        Today, I'm airing out thoughts, staying in touch with you as we have not visi-ted lately. 

        With each day, my life is becoming more re-laxed, com-fortable. 

What Is Easter? ... 4/4/21

       Here it is, Ea-ster.  

       This holiday is not about bun-ny rabbits, chocolate candy, pastel Easter eggs, or baskets.  Nor is it wearing fancy clothes to church. The original mean-ing of today is about Christ overcoming death, spiritual and physical.  

       A few years back, I saw a commercial touting Buzz Lightyear bal-loons for Easter.  I like Buzz Lightyear.  But Easter has nothing to do with celebrating the icon of a computer-generated movie.

       When attending a Humanism and Mysticism class in college, there were students not familiar with Adam and Eve.  So, for those not sure about the meaning of Easter, it is about Christ's resurrection from death.  With what I write, please take what you like, leaving the rest.

     Christ made many claims.  One was that he was the Son of God.  He staked what he taught on one test.  

      He said, that after his death, he would arise three days later.  Christ was cruci-fied on a Friday after a trumped-up trial done secretly the night before.

    Roman soldiers were posted at Christ's tomb.  They guarded it---under the penalty of death---if they failed. They were to prevent anyone from stealing his body.  The Jewish rulers asked the Roman governor Pontius Pilate to assign this guard, aware of Christ's claim.  

     To prevent any rumor of Christ's resur-rection, was their intent.  They wanted no basis for validating his teaching.

      On Sunday, three days after Christ's death, his tomb was empty.  Shortly afterward, Jesus appeared to more than 500 witnes-ses.  He over-came death.

   Christians believe he was God's offering, the sacrificial Lamb of God.

       On his shoulders, while hanging in agony on the cross, the sins of mankind were placed.  He died for me, for you.  Sins----past, present and future were paid for, through His sacrifice.  

      Christ was human.  It enabled him to empathize with our frailties and needs.  As God in human form, he was a worthy substitution for the multiple millions who experience forgiveness from God when placing their faith in Him.

My Gratitudes:

1. I'm humbled Christ died for my sins. I'm grateful for the gift of His sacrifice.  I rebelled against him, as a kid. That did not stop Him from wooing me.  I'm in awe of his patience with me, overlooking my arrogance, when I thought I could live by my power a-lone. There is no humility in self-will, not living by faith in God.  

2. I'm thankful for the spiritual power available when relying in His strength. In mine, I am can't live the life I want, nor overcome my struggles. I have known the power of his resurrection for more than thirty years. It helps me overcome calamities and gives a peace that transcends the darkest of my circumstances.

3. For Christ ri-sing from the dead, more than two thou-sand years ago. He overcame not only physical death but spiritual death as well: depression, sadness, anxiety, guilt and shame.

4. I'm glad that all who call upon him, can share the same experience as the multitudes who believe in Christ.  Anyone who does, will discov-er an amazing relationship with him.  We move from knowing about  him to knowing him in a loving, gentle, personal way.

     Wishing you a special Easter, one that celebrates           its meaning, 

The Beginning of Greater Happiness and Personal Strength ................ 4/3/21

       I walked into the meeting room.  

       I did not know what to expect. Surrounded by strang-ers, my feelings were as uncom-fortable as a cat finding itself within a pack of dogs. 

      It feels like yesterday, but seventeen years ago, on this day, April 3rd, I began my journey with recovery.  I attended my

Moving at a Rapid Pace Beyond Routine, Loving Life.................. 3/31/21

     The roaring 2021 379-horse-powered 911 Porsche Carrera (which goes from zero to 60 mph/96.6 kph in four seconds), and I reach the inter-section of Woodside Road and

Making Time for Me 3/27/21

     Today went at an unexpected pace.  My morning schedule changed, giving me time to write.  It is something I can-not not do. 

     Writing lets me self-express, something I was not allowed to do as a child or adol-escent.  So I am overjoyed whenever voicing my opinion.  My need for autono-my, choice, and independence are met. 

The Healing Power of Patience and Awareness............ 3/19/21

    Being patient towards ourselves. 

    An ongoing process, but, boy, it calms us down.  We are being gentle towards both the good parts of us and the areas where we want to grow. 

   It helps to be lenient to-wards our mistakes.  Instead of condemning ourselves, we possess greater peace of mind.

Condemning my imperfections has never en-hanced my appreciation of life or helped me to love myself more.   Courage to Change, p.19

    Accepting ourselves, including our vulnerabilities, reveals emotional maturity, the result of recovery.   No matter how much we try, we will never grow beyond being human beings. 

Today Is A Big Day 3/13/21

      Today is special. 

      It is the 10th anniversary when this place opened.  Thank you for popping in, joining the innkeeper as we cele-brate this milestone.  So many things have happened during this time. 

      I'm older.  Hopefully wiser.  Tend-ing this place stretches me.  

      I've grown in expressing my

An Overview of Thanks, Creating a Better Today...... 2/28/21

 

    In Roman times, February was originally the last month of the year.  For us, February 2020 was the last month of life as we once knew it.  In March 2020, we entered the era of Covid19.  

    This month is upon us once again.  We have greater hope this year.  We see prog-

Lessons Learned After Relating with a Negative, Critical Person................... 2/27/21

      A project I finished yester-day. 

     I did tasks I don't care for: it involved facts, figures, and sum-maries. Not my typical work.  Seven hours

Empathy Is More Important Than Being Right.......... 2/25/21

 

    Someone confronted me yesterday. 

    Initially, I was alarmed.  That rarely happens.  No, not about being disturbed, but about being confronted. 

   This client said I was speaking loudly.  I am known for my soft-spokenness. 

Celebrating Life: Seizing Moments of Joy....................... 2/18/21

   
     No, I'm not in bed, even though it is a few minutes after midnight.

     I met with friends tonight.  It met my need for connection and community.  It is in our relationships we devel-oped our distorted think-ing and it is through healthy relationships we

The Source for Peace of Mind During Life's Storms............ 1/31/21

     Today, I rested. 

      Was it needed.  So many things hap-pening that I must make time to look out for my inter-ests. That includes peace of mind, ease,