A Surprised, Calmer, Happier and Less Reactive Innkeeper............ 11/21/21

    So many experi-ences when I met my sister yesterday.  

    We hadn't seen each other for a long while, and getting together met my need for con-nection and self-ex-press.  We celebrated life together. 

    Our time also met my need for downing a margarita.  Ahhh!

    We visited for several hours. Inter-mittently we bore blaring live mariachi music at a Mexican Restaurant, La Cascada, in Ceres, California. I enjoyed us shar-ing family stories that the other sibling did not know, rounding out the history of who we are and were. 

    We took refuge in the quietness inside the cantina as a trio of musi-cians played outside for a birthday party.  Every time someone opened the front door, the music swept in, overwhelming our eardrums. 

    I liked the new me I discovered while with my sister.   I vividly saw the per-son I've become over the past sixteen years and seven months since enjoying the benefits of recovery.  I felt patient as we related, less opinion-ated, and reactive while with her than any other time. 

   She's one of two older sisters.  She came into the world eight years be-fore me.  This time I did not feel like a kid brother but as an equal. 

    While we visited, I experienced respect and mutuality, which made me calmly happy.

    Before seeing my sister, DeAnna, I felt nervous.  Old gremlins of past vis-its floated within my mind as I prepped for the trip.  I reminded myself that a positive outcome can be as possible as a negative one. 

    And the outcome of the day turned out smoothly, encouraging, inspiring, replete with quiet joy, filled with love and patience. 

What I learned: 

1. I spoke my truth, much more gently than before, when we chatted.  She's mellowed too.  

2. I could have visited with her way sooner than I did.  A big part of recent growth involves being gentle towards myself--- forgiving my-self.  I'm giving myself credit for seeing my sister yesterday.

     I'll remedy that. I am happy about having a better relationship with DeAn-na.  I will see her perhaps once a month. 

3.  Deep needs of mine were met, con-necting with her.   I liked how easy it felt to affirm my sister when I did.  While with her, I had no interest in talking about what had gone on with me since we last met. 

   The insecurity we display when we deliberately draw attention to ourselves happens when we are needy.  I am thankful for the fullness I enjoy, and I like this part of my personality. 

     I was aware of the absence of preening, trying to present myself as better than I was when I spoke.  I am good enough, just as I am.  I felt a deep satisfaction while with my sister, and we absorbed and delighted in our time and common roots. 

     Soul-satisfying to feel the unspoken love shared between us Saturday.  I soaked up the comforting bond we had like a warm blanket on a cold winter day. 

    I wish you a fantastic Sunday, and I know mine will be.