Staying On Topic, Not Letting Someone Change the Conversation 12/31/21

     The other day I mentioned to some-one concerns I had with him.  His re-sponse was a doozy.  Instead of addressing what I said, he found fault with how I expres-sed what troubled me.  

      That is a control pattern.  It usually reveals a person skilled at avoiding issues.  We validate their point if we get caught up with the tangent they pre-sent. 

      Anything we argue about, we make real. 

      His was a reactive response considering I couched what I said with the phrase, "I imagine, I am not saying this is true." His answer to what I said was that I was rigid.  If we can't be our authentic selves, stating what troubles us when relating with others, that connection holds us back. 

      We want relationships where we do not walk on eggshells.  "Faith-ful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of the enemy are deceitful."  With emotional maturity, we consider and receive the strong challenges of our colleagues.  

  "As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend."  Proverbs 27:17.  

       Have you seen iron sharpen iron?  If you have, you know sparks will fly.  So it is in a healthy relationship.  You can count on it. 

      And, "The full soul loathes the honeycomb, but to the hungry soul, every bitter thing is sweet."

       What is the best response when relating with someone who dodges our concerns and attacks us?   It is replying, "Those are excellent points.  I'd love to discuss them.  But right now, I want us to stay on my original topic.

      We can discuss your obser-vations about me later today or tomorrow."

       If someone tries blaming us when we bring up a concern, they do not want to look at themselves.  The blaming person thinks we are the only person wrong.  They believe there is no need for self-reflection.

      A good thing to remember during such times is if we feel like a doormat, we need to get up off the floor.