Saturday, September 14

Balance, Rest and Self-Expressed 9/14/13

"Adversity is like a strong wind.  It tears away from us all but the things that
cannot be torn, so that we see ourselves as we really are."   Arthur Golden
Image: "Buckinghamshire: Linford Lakes" by Tim Blessed. Copyrighted photo. 
       Good evening,

Yes, I've been away from the inn.  Although, additions to the previous post could have been made into separate post.  You might want to check it out.  I reworked it, adding reflections about my time with professors, attorneys, mediators and others contributing to peace who spoke from their
mind, not their hearts: form without substance.

      This week I was tuckered out from the energy expended Sunday, when participating in a forum in Berkeley, in honor of the U.N. International Day of Peace.  Also, the past five days I've been busy, seeing new clients.  I'm adding more, a result of people hearing me at the event.

       Balance.  That's what life is about.  And how.  It's a quality that's rare, nowadays. Especially as many of us are tethered to the constant distractions provided by today's technology: FaceBook, the internet and texting, and iPods.  You can read here, for more about this subject.  You won't be disappointed.

       I stabilized my week by spending time alone, decompressing----nurturing yours truly.  I spent a  monkish day without speaking to anyone, allowing my mind to unwind.  It doesn't matter how well I start off the race of life for a given week.  What matters is finishing strong, with my head held up.

       I did.

      In the midst of the many good things this week offered, I encoun-tered a bully (see the links), with positive results.  Disappoint-ment, challenged my equanimity, too.  It always stretches my emotional maturity.

       Setbacks are opportunities, reminding me that it's my job to transcend negative outcomes.  Life is about manning up---or, womaning up---seeing clearly what needs to be done, taking responsibility so that our needs are met.  Assuming a child-like role, blaming negative circumstances for the low ebb to our emotions is playing the victim.

Gratitudes for Today: 
1.  I slowed down. Rest, taking care of my physical welfare is maintaining balance.
2.  I see a new client tomorrow.  I look forward to serving this person, addressing his fears and anxiety.

Maintaining Integrity

        I disagreed with someone yesterday.  I'm grateful I can self-express, calmly saying my no---as gently as my yes.  I stood for my opinion without standing against the other.

        As a child, I couldn't voice my opinion.  Heavens no.  Now, my soul soars, no longer caged by codependency.  Unfolding its wings, my personhood is no longer caged by controlling people or the need to please others.

3.   Hurray for maintaining integrity!
4.  I received a client approval letter this week.  I enjoy helping others get the most out of life, guiding them, helping them to nurture their battered psyche.

5.  August concluded three years I've written daily, for 2-3 hours.  I am grateful for the discipline I've acquired by doing this.  My character was stretched.  I'm more patient, disciplined and observant.

6.  Yesterday was the thirty month anniversary when this inn opened its doors.  It's still a kid.  Maintaining this inn has been a joy.  I appreciate you who drop by.

Removing Static

      I have an opportunity to share with someone what is not working out in our relationship. Consistency and reliability, as well as healthy, open communication are important "must haves" and "can't stands" for me.  Unacceptable behavior is not tolerated.

       We train others how to treat us, both by what we do and don't do.  It will be great clearing the air.  Honestly expressing my disappointment will free me from the distracting white noise of uncertainty and confusion that now exists when relating with this individual.

7.  I value transparency in my relationships; peace, order, emotional safety and tranquility results, when authentic conversation is part of its fabric.

8.  I look forward to celebrating someone's birthday.  Some friends and I will let her know how important she is.
9. I was thankful for hearing from an old friend, yesterday.

How About You? 
What are your three gratitudes for today?

Related Post: 
Expressing Our Feelings


Carl H said...

Dear Innkeeper,

On this welcome cool fall Monday night I am grateful...

1. I could persevere through a 45 total minute tech support call with Comcast to finally get our modum/router reset (takes mere minutes!) so our WiFi in the house would work, so I could post some gratitudes! Horray! Well worth the effort!

2. Earlier I could indulge in swimming 14 laps (28 lengths) at the pool, melting away "Japanese fish-monger-stress" in the jacuzzi and then in the steam room, where I proceeded to fall asleep. After a while,the poor folks in the steam room thought old "Gordo Gringo" was dead!

3. And speaking of Gordo...I could discover these amazing new (seem healthy to me!) crackers; Food Should Taste Good brand "Sea-salt & Brown Rice Crackers." They are baked, have all sorts of good stuff in them, and are irresistible! And no I'm not commissioned! After eating too many, I wandered out to our backyard fig tree, devoured several plump, ripe, sweet-purple pleasures, and was full for the night! At least the figs will keep me regular!

4. I could take a colleague, 20 years my junior out to a nice breakfast this morning, to thank him for some favors at work.

5. The last service - delivery fiasco at work was totally not my doing...what a relief!

6. Our oldest son and his wife are having a fantastic vacation in Poland and Italy, with lovely photo's abounding!

Carl H said...

On this Tuesday night, I am grateful for;

1. A calm, measured, even sane, well-paced work day. While typically long at 11 hours, it was nearly stress-free and ultimately satisfying.

2. Once home, feet-up with a home-made iced coffee, crackers and cheese in the backyard-garden, before puttering around with some self-motivated chores.

3. A generous, restful nap, before a light dinner.

4. Wisely choosing benevolent surrender to my "forager" wife's request to rescue a neighbor's used, teak, outdoor, chaise-lounge frame. Easily loaded in and out of our empty, cavernous van. Even sacrificed watching Tom Cruise in "Oblivion" but it was too late on a work-night for that anyway.

5. Gently saying no to letting this new found treasure "replace" the ones bequeathed to me/us by my late Dad.

I mean c'mon. A mans outdoor/lawn chaise lounge is already a sacred possession; where any true-man can be found "snoring away like a well-oiled chain saw," under that leafy, backyard fig tree at early dusk on a warm summer's eve!

The mere thought of replacing a sentimental heirloom with a strangers discarded furniture (even if it is imported teak); well that's just sacrilege!

6. The mute button on the TV remote control! Being able to turn-off the TV and turn on the flow of ones imagination that creative writing can unleash...

Quotes from the Posts

"I'm mindful that our thoughts affect the words we use, our words influence our actions, our actions shape our character and our character determines our destiny."

From "My Character Determines My Destiny." To read it, please click here.

"Progress not perfection, is better than no progress at all, especially when we're trying to rid ourselves from unwelcome dragons that dwell within the closets of our soul."

From, "Still Learning" which, within four days, became the most popular post
written. To read it, please click here.

"Worry does not empty tomorrow of its trouble, but it does empty today of its strength"
From the post: "Life Is Not a Correspondence Program." Click here to read it.

"Even though we cannot control our circumstances, we can control how we choose to respond to them."

From, "Handling Stress and Dealing With an Emotional Bully."Click here to read this post.

"Nope, being busy isn't exciting. Boring is good. Because boring is not boring; boring is being healthy, living a balanced life that has serenity"

From: "Do You Know What It Means If You Are Too Busy?" For more, please click here.