Saturday, July 9

Creating a Better Today, Especially When Struggling, Revisited .............. 7/6/16

       Beyond pretense.

      A friend of sever-al decades-----a Bal-cony Person of mine, and I lunched.  This was our topic. The growth enjoyed when  facing  vulnerabili-ties. We talked about overcoming our weaknesses by re-placing them with
healthy alternatives. The following are a few suggestions:

      I. If we're angry:
          A.  We can go for a walk
          B.  We can process it by writing about it in our journal.
          C.  Go to a local sports event and scream like the dickens.

     It is a socially acceptable place to yell.  Fans next to you will think you're amazingly fanatical.  I have a dear friend in her 70's who does this. She goes to the Cal Berkeley basketball games.

         D. We can listen to relaxing music, to decompress.
         E. We can release our frustrations out by beating a pillow or throwing rocks in a body of water.
         F.  Anger reveals we're experiencing an unmet need. We can take action to resolve the unmet need by taking one step that allows us to empty out.

      For example, say that we're with someone who is judgmental.   And we're uncomfortable with their put-downs or how they blame us for their problems without taking responsibility. We can excuse ourselves:
"I'm sorry, but I have to go. I have something pressing that I need to do."
     No, not ironing a shirt.  Yes, we do have something to do. It's leaving that environment.  We don't need to be with someone who suffers from the toxicity of a bitter spirit.

      It's necessary if we want serenity.  If we want to reduce the level of drama in our lives.One source for sanity is being responsive to, but  not feel responsible for the feelings of others.

II.  If we're isolating, we can:
    A.  Call a friend, see how  they are doing. If we want to have friend, we need to be one.
    B. We can go to a movie with some-one. We are con-necting with others.  Not only with the friend, but the com-munity watching the film with us.  It's a step.
   C. We arrange a time to have lunch with someone special.

III.  If' feeling blue, we can:
    A. Go for a hike in nature. It lifts the spirit for many.
    B. Listen to music we like.
    C. Workout at the gym.  You probably know hard exercise produces endorphins, which are great for our moods.
    D. For some, chocolate does the trick, it has serotonin.

       The above are a few examples of healthy alternatives.  You prob-ably can add more.  You get the idea.

        We may not have control over our circumstances but we do have control over how we choose to respond to them.  We have many op-tions, healthy ones that are life affirming.  Difficult times remind me of the following quote:

       The only time we'll not have conflict is when we're dead; learning to process the challenges life offers is prefer-red to the alternative; I find a coffin a little confining.

       When we make healthy choices and take action to-wards solving our problems we'll find ourselves happier. Life will be more sane.  We'll enjoy life more.  We'll also have an attitude of gratitude because we're making the most out of our lives.

       We are creating a better today.

How About You?
1. What are some additional alternatives that you find to anger, isolating, depression?
2.  What is one step you'd like to take today, that will move you towards the solution of your particular challenge?
Image: Countryside: Spring Sky by Tim Blessed, © all rights reserved, use by permission.


Anonymous said...

Dear Innkeeper,
Lovely post. Great topic. I had to take time out as well as a result of dealing with a judgmental person who decided to judge me because a situation did not meet this person's expectations. This person dumped on me. The situation had nothing to do with me. People are just insistent. As one spiritual teacher put it, when you go against reality, you lose, but only 100% of the time. The little walk gave me enough time to process and gave me a deep understanding to not take it personally. A person's judgements has to with them, not me. I regained my dignity after my walk. Thank you for this topic. It's such an important one.
God bless.~JDK

Pablo said...

Dear Mr. Kavanaugh, (JDK)

Thank you, for sharing your recent emotional journey. It goes against our nature, embracing difficulties. They are not to be protected or defended. They are to be experienced. When we sit with them, we can check in with ourselves, finding out what is going on inside of us.

We can make the time to find out what we are feeling and what we want. This is having presence, being in the here and now, without our insecurities and self-judgments blaring within the halls of our mind.

I am glad you were able to respond and not react when encountering criticism. Kudos to you!

Wishing you a grateful day,

The Innkeeper

Quotes from the Posts

"I'm mindful that our thoughts affect the words we use, our words influence our actions, our actions shape our character and our character determines our destiny."

From "My Character Determines My Destiny." To read it, please click here.

"Progress not perfection, is better than no progress at all, especially when we're trying to rid ourselves from unwelcome dragons that dwell within the closets of our soul."

From, "Still Learning" which, within four days, became the most popular post
written. To read it, please click here.

"Worry does not empty tomorrow of its trouble, but it does empty today of its strength"
From the post: "Life Is Not a Correspondence Program." Click here to read it.

"Even though we cannot control our circumstances, we can control how we choose to respond to them."

From, "Handling Stress and Dealing With an Emotional Bully."Click here to read this post.

"Nope, being busy isn't exciting. Boring is good. Because boring is not boring; boring is being healthy, living a balanced life that has serenity"

From: "Do You Know What It Means If You Are Too Busy?" For more, please click here.