Lessons Learned From a Dying, Semi-Paralyzed But Tenacious Cat ....6/8/11 Alexander Part III

    For my regular readers,  this post will not be about gratitudes. You are forewarned.
 
     One night, when Alexander the Grey was two years old, a car hit his backside. His owner, Arlene, didn't know this fact right away. Worried, she was, when, for an interminable day, his mischievous presence was absent. The following evening, while cooking dinner, Arlene heard a loud thump.

      Somehow, he managed to

Last Days Spent with a Bewhiskered Friend ........................6/7/11 Alexander Part II

I used a glass bowl, like this one, to give Alexander the Gray water

     Good evening,
More about my dear friend, Alexander the Grey(t), in a minute----after getting in my gratitudes.

     I'm excited; today was terrific. Met with clients this afternoon. Afterwards, I met with friends who own businesses. There was energy, balanced with wisdom.  I'm thankful for my notes. There were ideas aplenty mentioned that I'll apply to my work.

My Gratitudes for Today:

1. My car is fixed. I'll pick it up up tomorrow. I appreciate the flexibility and independence of having a set of wheels.
2. It's fulfilling, working on my business plan. I'm seeing results. I'm thankful for increasing awareness about the shape and direction of my work, along with greater effectiveness.
3. I'm working with others, who support me as I take my business to a higher level.
4. I heard someone talk today. It was encouraging hearing about him succeeding in today's economy. .And he has a regular job!
5. It's motivating seeing  my vision becoming increasingly clear. You may want to see my previous post for details.

Buddy Time with a Cat in Decline

     Alexander, my friend's cat, is still kicking. Although, it's no longer with his hind feet. It's his heart that perseveres. I dropped by his house and helped out earlier today. He no longer walks.

     I love his quiet determination. I witnessed him using his two front paws, pulling himself along the carpet, as he tried reaching the litter box. A feline diaper, he now wears. I picked my furry friend up, held him in the box and removed his undies. He took care of business.

     Afterwards, outside, on a big pillow, like the royal pasha he is, I transported him. Laying on his side, unable to move, he viewed the rows of Redwood trees in his backyard. The moment reminded me of a scene from the movie Solyent Green, where Edward G. Robinson went to end his life.

     In the film, Robinson reclines, drinks something that will do him in. Before his eyes, he views films of nature and listens to music, before passing on. Once outdoors, Alexander's ears perked up. His eyes darted.

     Neighboring cats, Sammy the Siamese, Benjamin, the tuxedo cat and Freddy, the puffy, big, half-feral black cat, came by to sniff him and say good bye, real gentle like. After the feline visitors departed, we sat, watching darting flies---cats notice the darnedest things----butterflies and the occasional flitting of a bird. I swear I saw a smile creep upon his bewhiskered face. Alex had been cooped against a wall in the kitchen, all day, until then.

    When I returned him to the house he owns, that he shares with the resident, Arlene, I thought he might be thirsty. Outside, the sun, at length, had caressed his back.  A small glass water bowl was brought to Mr. Grey(t).  As I approached, water splashed in the bowl.  His eyes expanded, reaching out for it, like a cartoon character seeing something that captures its fancy. With the water bowl standing on his pillow, inches from his face, Mr.Gray was unable to drink.

    No longer can he sit or stand. This being the case since Monday.  Tenderly, from behind, I pulled him up with a hand on each of his sides, allowing his scrawny body to stand, in front of the shimmering bowl. He lowered his head and drank and drank and drank.

    I'm thankful for simple pleasures.  I never realized how satisfying it is doing hospice care, tending to a dying cat, taking time to slow down and listen, as Alexander spoke to me with his beautiful green eyes.

    For the first story in this series, please read here. 

Moving Towards Our Vision

"Where there is no vision, the people perish."

     Good to see you guys dropping by. Lately, the days have been crazy. I went out Sunday night and didn't get home until after one a.m. Yesterday, Alex's decline got worse, exponentially, he's still around, but the situation is sad. He can't sit or walk. He's mentally alert, but his body is giving out.  Monday, the internet went out in the afternoon, the service was restored this morning. I'll be busy replying to all who've dropped by over the past few days. Thanks for reading and commenting!
     
      As an aside, I've been working on my vision. (When do we ever here that word? Not often enough.) I'm concentrating on what my vision looks like, physically, spiritually, mentally, materially, professionally and relationally. It's been a good exercise. My actions are being set in terms of my priorities and they are being aligned with the vision for my life. I'm getting more tasks accomplished and I like witnessing the progress as I'm moving towards refocused, sharply defined goals.

       So, here are some questions I have for you:

1. Can you define your vision?  (Same categories as listed above.Try to make them practical.)
2.  If you were to break your vision down into three to five goal categories, what would they be?
3.  What would be some separate actions for each goal?

I'd enjoy hearing your answers. I'm asking that we share our practical goals.

    Have a great and grateful rest of the week,

I'm a Little Busy: Alexander is Dying, Perhaps Today 6/6/11

My day is cloudy, and it isn't just the weather. However, it's good
to see their beauty, like the ones here."In everything give thanks.."

“May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy.”

Update 3:40 p.m.: Alexander is hanging in there. He's immobile. He's in diapers made for incontinent dogs. He's kept warm with a fan heater, if you know what I mean. I appreciate your prayers for him, me, and his owner,during this time.
************************************************

     Good morning everyone,

สวัสดี  and Labrīt (welcome) to our new visitors from Thailand and Latvia. Gut morgan to my friends from Germany. Bonjour, to my French-speaking friends; hello to my friends from Canada, the United Kingdom and the U.S., and Selamat pagi to my friend from Malaysia.

     Yep, I cried, this morning. Alexander is dying and will be gone in the next few hours. His owner decided to let him choose when he wants to go, instead of having him put down at the vet's office. Alexander has reached the immobility state which happens when mammals face impending death. I prayed aloud for him. Alexander is spiritual---he knows when we pray: he draws close to us, when we do.

    I've said my good byes to him; I'm confident he knows that he's deeply loved and will be terribly missed. Yes, I'm a grown man. However, my heart has not hardened to the point of not having compassion for a 15-and-a-half year old, renal diseased cat, who's down to 5 lbs. He suffers from cryptococcus, which makes him labor for each breath. His back legs went out this weekend; his muscle tone atrophied due to not eating much for the past month and a half.  He wore diapers yesterday and last night for the first time. The poor guy could not make it to his litter box the past few days.

    I'll check in later. Alex needs my attention. Thank you for dropping by and reading. I enjoy the community we share. I can't wait until this inn truly becomes international, it will. I'd love reading gratitudes expressed in other languages. Some of you may not know that I'm conversational in nine, read and write in six. (Three of them are ancient languages.)

    During times like now, I'm mindful that God is in control. His Son told us that a sparrow does not fall to the ground without Him knowing it. If His eye is on the sparrow, it's also on Alexander, you and me. For those who don't know it, He also loves you dearly.

    I'll talk with you later, 

Image: Cumbria Buttermere by Tim Blessed via Flicker all rights reserved, used by permission

Guarding Our Emotional Sobriety (Not Taking Things Personally) ......... 6/4/11

Switzerland: Mountain Farm

        Hello everyone, good late evening to you night owls and good morning to you early birds who live on the Right Coast, the Midwest or East of the United States. I'll be sawing logs when you read this. Today's topic follows my gratitude list for this day. May I ask you to take the survey posted to your right? I'm curious to read your responses.

        A new week is starting. This is a good time for reflecting upon the past week. With that in mind,

"Improvements" : God Removing Dross from My Life ...6/3/11

Refining gold, removing the dross.

      It will be morning for most of you by the time you read this. I'm squeezing in my gratitudes while I can, before Saturday rolls in, claiming the time. As most of you know, this place provides a gratitude journal for the visitors of this inn. I ask those who drop by, to sign the registry to this place by sharing three gratitudes. It's easy to do, really.Would you give it a try?

My gratitudes for Friday:

1. Met with a client today, the time we spent was powerful and rewarding. I enjoy seeing progress and I'm happy helping others deal with long-term issues, many of them stemming from childhood. I love seeing others celebrating life more than they ever have.

Life Is Not a Correspondence Program. (Also, Staying in the Solution) ............ ...................6/2/11

  "Worry does not empty tomorrow of its trouble, but it
 does empty today of its strength."

Staying In the Solution:
       The quote above reminds us of the value of being positive and optimistic.  Especially true when we are troubled.  What can be done?  What are our options, given our circum-stances?

         The best approach is to focus ----while relying upon God's strength and direction and relating with our Balcony People-----on what can be done.

         It's critical to realize there are alternatives.

        We are not helpless, hopeless victims.  Constant complaining only makes our problems more prominent and more disturbing. (Al-Anon Family Groups Inc. One Day At a Time, Virginia Beach, 75)

        We want to see how to extricate ourselves from the bogs of life.  This is staying positive.  Healthy alternatives to life's difficulties are slate stones.  They lay across the swamps of life.

         Staying present is neither fearing nor pan-icking. It is diligently applying sound princi-ples.  It's placing the slate stones of princi-ples above the weak parts of our personality.

          They allow us to move forward towards a satisfying life.  They help us to be surrounded by caring, supportive friends.  These people are our Balcony People.  When with them, we're less likely to be swal-lowed by the quicksand of despair and self-pity:

"Acting like a victim is a choice, not a destiny."     Hope For Today, p. 189

Life Is Not a Correspondence Program
Growth Occurs When We Are in Community With Others 

        I mentioned, "working with the support of our Balcony People." Life is not a correspondence program.  It's not a matter of reading helpful books, watching practical programs on PBS, and writing down our answers in a notebook that solves life difficulties.  Nope, life isn't as simple as that.

       Surrounding ourselves with emotionally and psychologically healthy others is the way to go. These are people whose talk and walk are dynamic. They know serenity and sanity, even amid life's trials.

       These individuals thrive during challenging moments.  They are known for their joy.  No upside-down smiles are found on their faces, for the most part. Positivity and resiliency are characteristic of those who succeed.  People who move forward in their lives put their arms around negative reality.

        We need psychological and emotional distance, to be honest about our frailties.  These issues are so part of us, like our nose, that we don't notice them.  Having Balcony People as a part of our personal community ensures growth.  They ask us hard questions and keep us honest.

         It's easy rationalizing unacceptable behavior: "Well, everyone else does it..." "You didn't see that person...." "He made me angry...."  Supportive, Balcony People don't enable us; they don't allow us to get away with denial, not taking responsibility for our actions.

"Open rebuke is greater than secret love. Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of the enemy are deceitful."    Proverbs 27:5-6.  

     Do we want to continue with habits that really don't serve us?  I thought not.

My Gratitudes:

1. Removing clutter from my work is encouraging; I took care of details today. Doing so always provides more clarity regarding my office work.
2. I'm moving forward in my life. I'm working toward goals that will enable me to expand my business and work in a beautiful environment.
3. I saw several friends this evening.  It's nice having consistency in my life. I see these friends almost every week.
4.  I'm going to bed early tonight. I look forward to getting extra rest. I'm beat.

How About You? 

How might God, or your Higher Power, want you to put your arms around negative reality during this season in your life? 

I'd love to hear your answers.

Images: "Countryside Old Bridge" by Tim Blessed,  used by permission

Not Allowing Others to Determine Our Moods or Define Who We Are (Getting Healthier by Being Internally Referented.) ..... ..................6/1/11

         Good late evening, everyone.
Today's topic in just a minute----it follows the gratitudes listed below. Today was good. I met with a friend. Afterwards, I had hours alone to study and write. Ahh!  Having time alone is wonderful; I've been alone but never lonely. We are lonely when we cease to be at peace with ourselves.

       I'm improving in my dealings with

Creating a Better Today ............ 5/31/11

       Beyond pretense.

      A friend of sever-al decades-----a Bal-cony Person in my life, and I lunched together.  This is what we discussed. The freedom enjoy-ed when facing our vulnerabilities.More importantly, we talked about over-coming our weaknesses by replacing them with healthy alternatives. The following are a few suggestions:

      I. If we're angry:
          A.  We can go for a walk
          B.  We can process it by writing about it in our journal.
          C.  Go to a local sports event and scream like the dickens.

     It is a socially acceptable place to yell.  Fans next to you will think you're amazingly fanatical.  I have a dear friend in her 70's who does this. She goes to the Cal Berkeley basketball games.

         D. We can listen to relaxing music, to decompress.
         E. We can release our frustrations out by beating a pillow or throwing rocks in a body of water.
         F.  Anger reveals we're experiencing an unmet need. We can take action to resolve the unmet need by taking one step that allows us to empty out.

      For example, say that we're with someone who is judgmental.   And we're uncomfortable with their put-downs or how they blame us for their problems without taking responsibility. We can excuse ourselves:

"I'm sorry, but I have to go. I have something pressing that I need to do."

       No, not ironing a shirt.  Yes, we do have something to do. It's leaving that environment.  We don't need to be with someone who suffers from the toxicity of a bitter spirit.

Do not associate with a man given to anger; or go with a hot-tempered man, or you will learn his ways and find a snare for yourself.

                        Proverbs 22:24-25

      It's necessary if we want serenity. If we want to reduce the level of drama in our lives.  One source for sanity is being responsive to, but not responsible for the feelings of others.

      II.  If we're isolating, we can:
           A. Call a friend, see how they are doing. If we want to have friend, we need to be one.
           B. We can go to a movie with someone. We are connecting with others.  Not only the friend but the community of others watching the film with us.  It's a step.
           C. We arrange a time to have lunch with someone special.

      III.. If' feeling blue, we can:
           A. Go for a hike in nature. It lifts the spirit for many.
           B. Listen to music we like.
           C. Workout at the gym.  You probably know hard exercise produces endorphins, which are great                 for our moods.
           D. For some, chocolate does the trick, it has serotonin.

       The above are a few examples of healthy alternatives. You probably can add more. You get the idea.

      We may not have control over our circumstances but we do have control over how we choose to respond to them. We have many op-tions, healthy ones that are life affirming.  Difficult times remind me of the following quote:

      The only time we'll not have conflict is when we're dead; learning to process the challen-ges life offers is preferred to the alternative; I find a coffin a little confining.

       When we make healthy choices and take action towards solving our problems we'll find ourselves happier.  Life will be more sane.  We'll enjoy life more. We'll also have an atti-tude of gratitude because we're making the most out of our lives. We are also creating a better today.

How About You?
1. What are some additional alternatives that you find to anger, isolating, depression?
2.  What is one step you'd like to take today, that will move you towards the solution of your particular challenge?

                 Here's to encouraging one another,

Image: Countryside: Spring Sky by Tim Blessed, © all rights reserved, use by permission.

Moving Forward In Life ..5/30/11

Moving Forward

My gratitudes for Monday: 

1. I'm thankful for the power in releasing the painful moments from our past. When we do, we are able to move forward, unencumbered by the weight of ancient emotions.

Acting like a victim is a choice. It's not a destiny. 

2. I'm happy that when we accept the vulnerable areas of ourselves with compassion, there is a higher likelihood of those areas being healed. If we condemn them, our weaknesses usually go into hiding. Enjoying relationships with loving, supportive others is the first step.

    Receiving unconditional love from others is the first step that allows us to consider loving ourselves, faults and all. 
3. I'm grateful for the desire to want more out of life. I'm taking steps towards achieving my goals. As I've said before, the only difference between a rut and a grave is that the two ends have been kicked out. 

We cannot become the persons we want to be, by remaining the way we are.

What man should fear is not death. What man should fear is never beginning to live.       Marcus Aurelius

     For an amusing story with valid points about adapting when life is tossing dirt on us, click here. Thanks for dropping by. You open opportunities for connection when you leave a comment. It is your way of registering your visit to this inn of thanks. You're not alone. Life is a "we" program. We get our healing by bonding with supportive others. You'll find such people, here.  If you post, I'll reply.