Saturday, July 29

Tested, Not Found Wanting................ 7/29/17

Take a guess. Who is the colorful penguin? 
     Good evening.  How are you?  I'm resting today after an intense week.

     I did something different over the past four days, in-between seeing clients.  I negotiated with someone on the East Coast.  It required

     More than I thought I had.  The outcome is not clear---yet.  It was interesting, observing my feelings while working out details with this man on the other side of the bargaining table.

     When this started, I was not sure how I would respond to his persistent demands.  He tantalized me with an amazing offer.  It did not deter me from my values.

     Because I was internally referented.  Like the picture above, I am a penguin of another kind. I don't yield to the pressure of the crowd.

    I didn't react to his relentless pressure.  In the face of it, I stated what I needed, using boundaries.  I marched to the beat of the drumbeat of recov-ery.  Because I did, he blinked first.

     The whole time while negotiating with Mr. East Coast, I listened to recover-y's measured beat.  Because I did, I was gracious but firm. I was kind but assertive while being pressured.

      I listened to what my soul told me, what it wanted.  I made time to slow down, not giving in to this fellow's intimidating ways.  I noticed what was transpiring within me during our interactions.

      When I did, I discovered how I needed to relate to this person.  I had to apply boundaries. He was going too fast, making me uncomfort-able.

      Adhering to boundaries freed me from the pressure this man was applying.  Our limits define us.  Boundaries let others know who we are.  They remind us and inform others as to what we cherish, what is important for us.

      In this case, I was not enjoying peace of mind and the space I needed for my soul to breathe.

      It is important to be edgy.  My boundaries prevented this man from steam-rolling over my values with his demands.   Recovery made it pos-sible to assert my boundaries with gentleness.

      I said my no as gently as I say my yes.  I even did this with a warm smile.  (We spoke using Skype.)

   My time spent with this man from New Jersey revealed who I am:
1.  A clear-thinking person when pressured.
2.  I was comfortable while experiencing the discomfort of pressuring tactics.  I sat with the strong persuasions this man applied.
3.  I do not budge when pushed.
4.  I did not react with child-like responses when facing a crisis.

       When we have healthy principles guiding us, challenges do not trigger us.

       Applying recovery during difficult times brings out the best in us:
1.  Fear is replaced with courage.
2.  Instead of being curt and impolite, when pushed, we know and demonstrate emotional maturity.  We rise above any emotional storm.
3.  Instead of being befuddled during difficult times, our priorities are clear.

       Tough times are oppor-tunities to self-express.

       Recovery lets us
know presence of mind when pushed: we check in with ourselves.  We deter-mine our feelings and what we want.

       During such times we can express ourselves calm-ly.  We can be affirming while asserting ourselves.

       Codependency no longer has to rule over us.  Like it did when we were young. And when that happened, back then, it sabotaged and deflated the joy and deeply satisfying life our Higher Power had in store for us.

        With recovery, we enjoy life freed from insecurity.

        No longer do we live in the margins of our life.  It is distaste-ful, feeding upon the emotional leftovers received when we are passive. We pre-fer the just desserts enjoyed when we are affirmingly assertive.

        With personal growth---recovery---we know what we want in life. We do the hard work necessary to thrive with emotional, spiritual abundance.

        This week was fulfilling.  I am thankful for listening to the drum-mer I heard, stepping to the beat of recovery, however measured or far away. 

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Quotes from the Posts

"I'm mindful that our thoughts affect the words we use, our words influence our actions, our actions shape our character and our character determines our destiny."

From "My Character Determines My Destiny." To read it, please click here.

"Progress not perfection, is better than no progress at all, especially when we're trying to rid ourselves from unwelcome dragons that dwell within the closets of our soul."

From, "Still Learning" which, within four days, became the most popular post
written. To read it, please click here.

"Worry does not empty tomorrow of its trouble, but it does empty today of its strength"
From the post: "Life Is Not a Correspondence Program." Click here to read it.

"Even though we cannot control our circumstances, we can control how we choose to respond to them."

From, "Handling Stress and Dealing With an Emotional Bully."Click here to read this post.

"Nope, being busy isn't exciting. Boring is good. Because boring is not boring; boring is being healthy, living a balanced life that has serenity"

From: "Do You Know What It Means If You Are Too Busy?" For more, please click here.