An unwelcomed visitor dropped by on a sweltering sum-mer day. He star-tled me, making my heart feel like it does when sprinting up a hill.
It didn't get better until I took care of myself, shutting things down, literally, like the windows to my house on that hot summer night.
His name is Dread. Cold sweat showed up, too, another uninvited guest.
I was pouring over books at the kitchen table when I heard the commotion. I wondered if it was blasting from a neighbor's radio. Nope.
Was the commotion coming from the neighbor next door? I heard two young women screaming from there, a month earlier. That happened while having a friend over, making for an awkward moment.
No, the screeching wasn't from my neighbor's house.
The profanity-laced screaming was not a drama blared from a adult cable program from a neighbor's TV. Stepping outside, the source of the disconcerting distraction was clear. The battle was taking place in the house diagonally across the street.
The banshee lived there.
She's a stocky pony-tailed blonde college coed. She lives in the house with a fire hydrant in front of it. Vile obscenities screeched for two hours.
She screamed about not having a car. This only child railed against her parents.
Later, that week, a third auto, a used blueish-silver one, was parked on their driveway. There won't be any more yelling. At least for a while, I hope.
Sad memories revisited when hearing the com-motion that evening. The recollections were not of screams. It was the tension, negativity and the duration of the young woman's tirade that haunted me.
The fear of helplessness pulled at my stomach. Ancient negative emotions were revived on this emotionally wrenching evening. Am I thankful.
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Was the commotion coming from the neighbor next door? I heard two young women screaming from there, a month earlier. That happened while having a friend over, making for an awkward moment.
No, the screeching wasn't from my neighbor's house.
The profanity-laced screaming was not a drama blared from a adult cable program from a neighbor's TV. Stepping outside, the source of the disconcerting distraction was clear. The battle was taking place in the house diagonally across the street.
The banshee lived there.
She's a stocky pony-tailed blonde college coed. She lives in the house with a fire hydrant in front of it. Vile obscenities screeched for two hours.
She screamed about not having a car. This only child railed against her parents.
Sad memories revisited when hearing the com-motion that evening. The recollections were not of screams. It was the tension, negativity and the duration of the young woman's tirade that haunted me.
The fear of helplessness pulled at my stomach. Ancient negative emotions were revived on this emotionally wrenching evening. Am I thankful.
My life is surrounded by loving, emotionally healthy friends. They are my support network, the Safe People in my life.
Warm memories, joy, and serenity now replace dark moments from my past. I am filled with emotional object constancy that under-girds my well-being.
Freedom from acrimony I enjoy. The result of cour-ageous steps I took thirteen years ago. I left a toxic relation-ship of twenty years.
I free myself from disturbing emotions, like those that erupt-ed from the home with the fire hydrant across the street.
Warm memories, joy, and serenity now replace dark moments from my past. I am filled with emotional object constancy that under-girds my well-being.
I free myself from disturbing emotions, like those that erupt-ed from the home with the fire hydrant across the street.
I had forgotten what tension felt like. It was disturbing, being scared, feeling uneasy. That emotionally negative evening birthed deeper thankfulness for harmony, for being sur-rounded by friends who provide ease, acceptance, and tranquility.
The yelling that night had me appreciating the good friends who provide emotional fuel. They fill my life with emotional safety, con-nection, consideration, and celebration of life. My supportive network strengthens me. I know intimacy, not condemning attacks from those seeking their way at the expense of my feelings.
I had forgotten how my life once was.
Many years have passed since being trapped in a negative relationship. The screams piercing that awful summer night did not rob me of joy. Because of emotional object constancy, I enjoy peace of mind.
That evening, I shut the windows, almost calling the police about the disturbance. I studied instead, nurturing myself.
Gratitudes:
1. Peace comes not from the absence of conflict but from our ability to cope with it. I took care of me on that awful night.
2. We may not control our circum-stances, but we do have control over our responses.
3. For not being addicted to drama. If we want that, we can see a film at the theater. That way, we leave it there when returning home.
4. For rest and sleep.
5. For being in touch with my body, easing up on my schedule when I was emotionally and physically depleted.
How About You?
What are your gratitudes for today?
The yelling that night had me appreciating the good friends who provide emotional fuel. They fill my life with emotional safety, con-nection, consideration, and celebration of life. My supportive network strengthens me. I know intimacy, not condemning attacks from those seeking their way at the expense of my feelings.
Many years have passed since being trapped in a negative relationship. The screams piercing that awful summer night did not rob me of joy. Because of emotional object constancy, I enjoy peace of mind.
That evening, I shut the windows, almost calling the police about the disturbance. I studied instead, nurturing myself.
1. Peace comes not from the absence of conflict but from our ability to cope with it. I took care of me on that awful night.
2. We may not control our circum-stances, but we do have control over our responses.
3. For not being addicted to drama. If we want that, we can see a film at the theater. That way, we leave it there when returning home.
4. For rest and sleep.
5. For being in touch with my body, easing up on my schedule when I was emotionally and physically depleted.
How About You?
What are your gratitudes for today?
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