I love seeing clients get better. They learn how to handle a tyrant that lives within everyone during our time together. Our default mode.
This unhelpful pattern shows up when we are stressed. Our limbic system activates this default mode, created by our reptilian mind, the non-cognitive part of our brain. It is the source of our felt sense----which makes us feel alive, frightened, or elated.
It is startling, realizing we mostly live throughout life with beliefs created in childhood by the part of our mind that does not think. Yes, that is insanity, but we do.
Illusions developed as children cloud our present-day perceptions of reality. It reveals itself with the drama-filled perspective derived during the traumatic moments of childhood. We increase our joy when we gain freedom from these tormenting inaccurate fantasies created by this frightening portion of selves. We are no longer four years old, yet we still operate by conclusions we came to at that time.
Our behavior frequently reveals these phantoms are everywhere. Life reeks of them. Our default modes come out of the cracks of our unconsciousness. Unaddressed, they poison our souls.
Our behavior frequently reveals these phantoms are everywhere. Life reeks of them. Our default modes come out of the cracks of our unconsciousness. Unaddressed, they poison our souls.
The negative parts of our reactive self hamper our confidence. Our success is crippled by the negative default modes that live within. Our joy is diminished by them.
With recovery, phantoms of fear are faced and confront-ed.
My Gratitudes for Today:
1. I love taking care of myself, something I didn't do for decades. It is critical tending to the little guy who lives within me. I'm letting him have fun, too.
2. I was present with someone, expressing my voice, hurts and values. There was no effort at manipulating the outcome. I tried discovering
it, instead.
3. I love the clarity of mind by living by healthy principles.
4. I experienced disappointment recently. I was hap-py seeing my react-ion: none. I did not react.
No one can make me hap-py, sad, angry, fearful, or any other feeling without me giving them permission to do so. (Paths to Recovery, p 13, penultimate paragraph.)
Our feelings are our responsibility; other people's emotions are theirs. And never shall the twain inter-sect.
That only happens when we are boundaryless. Or if we are co-dependent. We want to avoid these two character qualities. They let others define us and determine our moods.
We want to be responsive to but not responsible for the feel-ings of others. To have joy, serenity, and peace of mind, we must take responsibility for our feelings.
How About You?
You heard my gratitude. When you post comments here, you add to the community we share. What are your three gratitudes for today?
A big part of recovery is o-vercoming un-healthy mental patterns such as passivity or a negative out-look. It is peri-lous when these default modes are active within our minds.
"Our mind is a dangerous place for us to travel alone."
False assumptions and paralyzing outdated beliefs suck out our courage and strength. Yielding to our default mode, our relapses will be many. Our progress is slow.
"The damage done in childhood cannot be undone, since we cannot change anything in our past. We can, however, change ourselves.
"We can repair ourselves, gaining our lost integrity by choosing to look closely at the knowledge stored inside our bodies, bringing this knowledge closer to our awareness. This path is not easy. But it is the only route to leaving behind the cruel, invisible prison of [the abusive aspects of] our childhood." Alice Miller, The Drama of the Gifted Child, The Search for the True Self, 2.Ignoring the past is not seeing its influence on present actions. The shadow of the past continues to haunt our present, whether we are aware or not. We live from the perspective of our wounded childish selves, not realizing this reality of youth no longer exists.
"[It is] living in their repressed childhood situation.... They are con-tinuing to fear and avoid dangers that, although once real, have not been real for a long time." Drama, 2.We need to be present. This is experiencing what is, be it painful or pleasant. We want to use the strength offered when placing strong principles above our limbic system default modes.
Recovery strengthens and heals the wounded child within. Our adult, stronger self stays with our vulnerable little self, comforting it. Often this is the first time this little one receives comfort during stress.
*****
My Gratitudes for Today:
1. I love taking care of myself, something I didn't do for decades. It is critical tending to the little guy who lives within me. I'm letting him have fun, too.
2. I was present with someone, expressing my voice, hurts and values. There was no effort at manipulating the outcome. I tried discovering
3. I love the clarity of mind by living by healthy principles.
4. I experienced disappointment recently. I was hap-py seeing my react-ion: none. I did not react.
I responded. The key to happiness is learning our job. We must deal with life's disappointments. It is not anyone else's responsibility.
Our feelings are our responsibility; other people's emotions are theirs. And never shall the twain inter-sect.
That only happens when we are boundaryless. Or if we are co-dependent. We want to avoid these two character qualities. They let others define us and determine our moods.
We want to be responsive to but not responsible for the feel-ings of others. To have joy, serenity, and peace of mind, we must take responsibility for our feelings.
How About You?
You heard my gratitude. When you post comments here, you add to the community we share. What are your three gratitudes for today?
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