Wednesday, May 11

Agitated .............. 5/11/16

        I'm growing.

        Against my will, I am encountering a lot of instant learn-ing.  This happens when we are assault-ed with many demands.  It occurs when we experience a multitude of failures.  Being the Attitude of Gratitude guy, I see things from a positive point of view. Even during the roughest times.

        Failure and disappointment do not define us.  Instead, resilient people look at setbacks and learn from them. Then move forward.

        If thrown back once again,and they fail, IT IS NO BIG DEAL.

        I don't care for it, but I am facing disappointment and pressure.  Taxed---emotionally, mentally, physically, as I have been, for two weeks.

        An awkward and wobbly elderly person leaning on a walker to get around paints the picture of the steadiness in my present world.

         Topping it off, I was sucker punched Tuesday.  Shocked.  After-wards, throughout the day, I reeled.  And mourned.  As distraught as a cat caught in an alley jammed with feral dogs, I felt.  Couldn't think straight.
        Fear filled every pore.

         I am worn-down.  The result of hard work.  There is much to do besides sessions with clients.  Poor sleep breeds weariness, too.  I have demands shout-ing for attention.  Including improve-ments that will take place here.

       Gearing what I offer in new ways----in a fabulous direction, is taking its toll on me.  The laundry of my life is being re-sorted.  Making me disoriented.  All this is happening as I am taking steps that will help me better serve those I work with.

      Tuesday, for several hours, visions of doom took over.  Not my usual state of mind.  Making it worse, there appears to be no answers for my troubles.

       Except for two.

1.  Slowing down.  I need to be deaf to what clamors for my attention. I need to take care of me.

     I am in HALT.  I need to slow down. I will dictate how I spend my time.  Not the e-mails that assault me daily.  Nor the text messages and phone calls that barrage me throughout the week.

2.  Realizing I am powerless.  I've no control over any of the pronouns in my life: people, places, and things.  This is Step One, in recovery.  It hits hard.  Life is unmanageable.

      Growth happens when I embrace negative realities.  It is a mark of resiliency.  In the meantime, I am curious what wild things are wanting to hug me.


Lynne Bragan said...

Somehow you must get enough sleep!! Take care of yourself Pablo. From a long ago friend - Lynne Becker Bragan

Thumper said...

Dear Pablo,

You are right about our needing to realize that failure and disappointment do not define us. I often do let them define me and see them as something I am responsible for. Part of maturity is being able to use these times as opportunities for reflection and growth. Thank you as always for your important life lessons.

Quotes from the Posts

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From "My Character Determines My Destiny." To read it, please click here.

"Progress not perfection, is better than no progress at all, especially when we're trying to rid ourselves from unwelcome dragons that dwell within the closets of our soul."

From, "Still Learning" which, within four days, became the most popular post
written. To read it, please click here.

"Worry does not empty tomorrow of its trouble, but it does empty today of its strength"
From the post: "Life Is Not a Correspondence Program." Click here to read it.

"Even though we cannot control our circumstances, we can control how we choose to respond to them."

From, "Handling Stress and Dealing With an Emotional Bully."Click here to read this post.

"Nope, being busy isn't exciting. Boring is good. Because boring is not boring; boring is being healthy, living a balanced life that has serenity"

From: "Do You Know What It Means If You Are Too Busy?" For more, please click here.