Empathy Is More Important Than Being Right.......... 2/25/21

 

    Someone confronted me yesterday. 

    Initially, I was alarmed.  That rarely happens.  No, not about being disturbed, but about being confronted. 

   This client said I was speaking loudly.  I am known for my soft-spokenness. 

    I liked my response.  I was present, not defensive.  I did not justify myself. 

 I welcomed his comments. I was present with what was going on. 

    After getting over being startled, I realized he was on edge.  I em-pathized with his feelings and the needs beneath.  I shared what I thought they were with him.

    I empathized before advising.  Connecting with today's guest in this way, he settled down.  We went on with our time together.  

    Empathy doesn't mean agreement. 

    As he rose from his chair to head home, he embraced me with a big hug and smile.   I usually shrink from hugs because of this Covid19- plagued season.  Our time was positive, uplifting, and productive. 

       I relented.  This fellow left beaming. What I was reminded of: 

1.  Life and rela-ting are more manageable when we leave our ego at the door before en-tering the inn of a relationship.  Con-necting and loving others are lovely gifts we give others.  Using nonviolent communication is a big help, too. 

We want to:

Love before leveling

Trust before risking

Care before confronting

Support before criticizing

Understand before interpreting

Empathize before advising

Affirm, then assert.

2.  Swallow my pride.  Consider things from another's perspective, even if I disagree.  This is the stuff empathy is made of. 

     I can still hold to my reality while embracing different perspectives.  I want to keep an open mind.  Our mind is like a parachute.  

     It only works when it is open. 

3.  The nature of a relationship, how we get along, is more impor-tant than anything we do with others.   The connection comes before tasks. 

4.  When caught in an emotional tug-of-war, I can end it quickly if I let go of my end of the emotional rope.  I don't need to insist on being right.  There is no need to prove ourselves.  

     Our value is not wrapped around convincing others.  It's okay if others disagree.

     Wishing you a fantastic day. We may not be able to change our circumstances, like the Coronavirus, but we can change our response to them. It becomes that way when we live with gratitude. 

     Like I did with the fellow in the incident above. 

     Positively reframing dire circumstances allows us to stay in the solution and remain upbeat. 

     Reframing fills our love bank. It gives us the energy to tackle life with enthusiasm, confidence, and an Attitude of Gratitude.