Trusting My Inner Self, My Intuition.... 8/25/14

       I am glad that I trust my intuition, wisdom God and recovery have given me.  I no longer accept unacceptable behavior or values.  I do not passively rely on the reactions---or passivity----of others to determine whether a circumstance disturbs me.  I trust my own

Saying What We Want, Not Being Controlling......... 8/17/14

       An in-depth conversation with someone dear, for five hours and fifteen min-utes.

        During this difficult conversation I exercised a patience I did not know I had.  Stating what I wanted, I did.

       Like  having a thousand biting ants crawling up my legs and remaining still was it to be calm and quiet, while I listened. I resisted blurting out the confused thoughts exploding within my head. Instead, I allowed time for her to digest what I said.

Dealing With an Emotional Bully, Part IV .......7/6/12

God's love is like an evergreen tree; it thrives through every season.
Image: "Woodland" by Tim Blessed. Copyrighted photo. Used by permission.
Caption is the photographer's. It fits well with today's post.

         Good morning everyone,

I'm tending to the inn early today. Has you week gone well?  I hope so. If not, please allow me to offer you the calming tea of

The Tyranny of the Urgent Did Not Override the Important and, I Was With A Pouty Person Tonight ..5/2/12

Hope is like a road in the country; there was never a road, but
when many people walk on it,the road comes into existence.

       Hello everyone,

I hope Thursday turns out well for

One Second of Response Time for Every Year Invested in Personal Growth ..............................4/14/12

A smile of encouragement at the right moment may act like sunlight
 on a closed flower. It may be the turning point for a struggling life.
Image: "Wetlands: Day Is Done" by Tim Blessed. (Caption by the photographer.)
All rights reserved, copyrighted photograph. Used by permission. 

       In Friday's post, "Emotional Aikido, A Great Way to Handle Stressful Moments With Others" Keith commented:

  "I find the concept of Verbal Aikido quite fascinating-thanks for introducing me. Also, I completely agree with the concept of detaching yourself emotionally while in adversarial scenarios-a sort of "emotional compartmentalization.: so-to-speak.”

      I'm giving this important subject---that can greatly contribute to our happiness---the attention it deserves. So,

Parading the Elephant: Expressing What Bothers Us........ 5/7/11

What did the grape say when the elephant
 stepped on it?  (Answer below)

          It has been an emo-tionally miserable week.

         It was filled with frustration.  I didn't think it would be, but such has been the case.  There has been lots of exhaling, let-ting out stress, along with my breath.  Encountering tension is not fun.

         The following link is helpful if you want to know if, like me, you're relating with an emotional bully.  Click here.

     I have been an elephant walker, and driver, this week.  The elephant in the living room of a troubled relationship has been paraded by yours truly.  I took the elephant with me everywhere.  It was a tight fit in the car, but my floppy-eared visitor and I visited a dear friend or two.

     Thankfully, these companions helped in giving it a bath----remov-ing some of the crud off of this unwieldy pachyderm, by offering perspective.

      As a result, I see this Jumbo-sized situation for what it is.  It is an opportunity for exercising principles.  Along with living by them.  It is important doing so firmly----but graciously----regardless of the resis-tance encountered.  This is especially true when I'm with the emotional bully that is making life miserable.

       Naming the elephant, discussing my concerns, with my buddies hasn't made circumstances better.   But I feel better.   This critter is not nudging my serenity as much as it was. I find the following helpful dur- ing troubling times:

     Life doesn't always go smoothly or peacefully, even though I wish it would.  In the past when something bother-ed me, I’d say nothing rather than face an argument.  It seemed better to be upset than risk upsetting someone else. The results were usually disastrous.  I would become irritable and unreasonable. I'd let resentment fester. 

    Today, I suspect adversity has value I hadn't recognized.  When I face adversity and deal with my problems or express my feelings, things have a chance to improve. [If I don’t mention my concerns there is no chance of it improving.] 

    Even if they don’t, I release the pressure I  feel.  I’m new at this. I don’t do it very gracefully yet.  Sometimes it’s scary a my words are not exactly welcomed. Nevertheless, I feel better when I finally begin living life on life’s terms. 

    Looking back, I see how much I’ve grown.  I wouldn’t have chosen the crises in my life.  But since [applying heal-thy principles], I’ve learned every problem can help me change for the better.  It can deepen my faith, adding to my self-esteem.

    The Chinese word for crisis is written with two charact-ers. The first stands for danger, the second for opportunity.  I'll look for the good hidden within everything I encounter.

‘There is no such thing as a problem without a gift             for you in its hands.’      Courage to Change, p. 139

'll be happy when my elephant becomes this size
Don't laugh, I've seen it happen with other elephants

 in my life!

How About You? 

How are you at expressing what troubles you?  

  Wishing each of you a terrific day, and look forward to your response.

The answer to the question above: the grape did not say anything---it gave a little wine. 

Getting Work Done, Boundaries, Freedom from Pretense

      What a wonderful Wednesday this was!
The weather was fabulous. Now is the time when I frequently post gratitudes; while it is still this day, minutes away from tomorrow. As you will read below, there are many things for which we can be grateful. It's not really hard to think of some.

      If you're stumped, try using the alphabetical approach: I'm grateful for air, I love the sound of babies laughing, as their parents blow on their bellies and beautiful flowers.  I'm thankful for cars and cats.  You get the idea.

Suffering Loss (and staying in our power & integrity when others manipulate, using anger or shame) 5/2/11

      I had a bad experience Friday night. One of my worst nightmares came true. A few days I needed, to process my grief and shock.  Friday, I spoke. That went well. A friend drove me to the event; we had dinner before hand, catching up with each other's life.  I had with me a case that held books I use. Often, when speaking, I refer to them.

     After the event was over, my friend needed to put water in his radiator, the result of a recent accident, where he hit another car with the front end of his. I left the case on the trunk of his car while I went to talk with others. You guessed it. We took off with the luggage bag on top of the trunk. It fell off

Handling Stress and an Emotional Bully 3/14/11

In the famous words of the philosopher
 Alfred E. Newman, "What, me worry?

      This evening, I spoke.

       It's an interesting experience.  In school, I performed in plays. It's the same dynamic when giving a talk. The audience continuously interacts with me, in this case, as I shared my thoughts about "getting a life."

       Tonight, several attending stretched their necks as they listened. They had difficulty hearing, an effort made difficult because I'm soft-spoken.