Demon of Denial Revised .............. 3/9/22

“As we express our gratitude, we must never forget
that the highest appreciation is not to utter words
but to live by them.”   John F. Kennedy 

        I wrote this post years ago, pre-senting it now, again. Many current guests of this inn were not here then.  I hope it helps. 

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        A while ago, I met with someone I mentored. This per-son danced around character issues needing attention. When he became defensive, I held my ground, prompting a discussion about the difference between being unaware and denial. 

      When a person is unaware of an issue, the response can be, "Do I do that?  Can you help me deal with this? Do you have any ideas?"

     Denial tells a different.  He becomes defensive, per-haps agitated, or argumenta-tive when in it, justifying his perspective.  Such responses indicate that the demon of denial has appeared.

       I do not debate when relating with others, and this monster lurks; I do not debate. There's no point arguing with a drunk person. When in denial, we are emotionally in-toxicated, beyond reasoning.

      Besides, when there's a difference of opinion, I don't argue; I share my position, leaving it at that.  It's not my role to convince. 

      I find heated discussions unpro-ductive; they're only suitable for escalating tension and creating ill will.  Who wants that?

     It was interesting noting this person's denial as we spoke about the subject.  It's not my job to change anyone.  There exists only one God.  I am not Him.

         I let this mentee know I will remind him of this demon that lives within him.

Faithful are the wounds of a friend but the kisses of the enemy are deceitful. The full soul loathes the honeycomb, but to the hungry soul [the one that doesn't have discernment or recovery] every bitter thing is sweet. [Including unhealthy relationships.]   Proverbs 27:6-7

       This person's reaction informed me I had better use of time than  pursuing his denial regarding his relationship with an unhealthy person.

Gratitudes: 

1.    I'm thankful for the sanity of not pursuing fruitless discussions.  I have better ways of in-vesting time, offering a better return.

      This same person wanted to analyze areas needing growth.  I stopped that.  We need a different consciousness than the one that created them. 

      Analysis doesn't change anything. Action does. Taking steps, albeit tiny ones, leads to substantial growth.

      Flowers, oak trees, human physical development are incremental, but they provide meaningful results over time.

2.   I'm grateful for the progress when we stay in the solution, considering healthy alternatives when faced with difficulties.  For more about this subject with specific ideas about doing so, click here.

Encountering a Hollywood Celebrity
      While mentoring this person at a quaint but unfriendly cafe in Corte Madera, a smallish guy was at the counter, wearing white shorts and a grayish-blue t-shirt, his back to us. My friend and I were window dressing, tucked into the bay window that fronted the sidewalk.

      The guy at the counter rose, paid his tab, facing me as he walked towards the door.  His unshaven face gave a sheepish smile as his blue eyes met my darker ones.  He brushed by our table on the way out.  

      It was Robin Williams, the actor-comedian.  I did not know he was shy.

     He pulled his oversized black sunglasses over his face before walk-ing out the door.  He got in his black Audi, transporting himself to whatever the day held for him.

3. I'm thankful for life's surprises, excellent weather, cool bay breezes, and clarity of thought when conversing with others.  I also enjoy the silent, fulfilling sense we know when we have boundaries and adhere to them, as I did with the person I sponsor.  

    This peaceful, extraordinary joy has another name: serenity.

4.  I love my profession. It challenges me emotionally and mentally and makes each day invigoratingly different. 
5.  Life could not be better resulting from having a vision and working towards my goals. As the Greeks said,

If you aim at nothing, that is exactly what you'll get.

My life continues to move in the exact direction I want.  Cant' beat that.  

  6.  I'm regularly getting rest. How could I not have an Attitude of Gratitude?

    You know the routine. I ask you to share at least three gratitudes when you drop by.  You've heard mine. It would be terrific to hear yours.

Related Post:

The Problem Lies Beneath Our Nose