Freedom From Mental Chatter, Being Surrounded With Love.......... 7/10/18

      Constant pers-onal growth takes us to de-lightful places beyond our im-agination. 

    Like a mosqui-to nipping at a racehorse, sometimes the only taste of success others have may be when they take a bite out of us.

      During such times, we can remain happy, liking life, knowing the excitement of continually growing.  Like a child during the first day of school, we can become just as overwhelmed by recovery.  HALTing helps, providing our minds with the space to absorb the confluence of life-enhancing ideas.

      Personal growth enhances the shape and direction of our lives. Essential for personal happiness requires applying what we learn daily.  Such practical application hum-bles and exhilarates us as we use new insights into the immediate humdrum of everyday living. 

       And our lives grow richer, more satisfying, everything fits together, for the most part.

       Recently, someone verbally and publicly attacked me.  Not for what I said, but for why she thought I said what I said.

       My, that is dan-gerous ground.  No one knows the thoughts of an-other.  This woman believed she certain-ly knew my motives, and her imagination had her certainly mistaken.

       Life gets better when we do not accept unacceptable behavior.  This is a big part of living with recovery.

       Recovery also believes others the first time they tell us who they are.  It is easy, overlooking abuse; we think the negativity we sense must be wrong.

         It isn't.  We want to be internally referented, trusting our judg-ment.

       Our intuition is a gift.  When mistreated, we genuinely sense the undesirable behavior or negative comments of others.

        It's hard grasping that others can be intention-ally unpleasant.  Welcome to the world of relating with controlling people or individ-uals reacting to the trauma, shame, or neglect they experienced as a child.  Their pain rubs off on us as verbal or emotional abuse.

       It is vital, see reality, and we all have issues.  My critic experi-enced transference.

        Being her scapegoat al-lowed her to vomit her anger. She has plenty of it towards her husband, whom she is divorcing.

       Seeing this allows me to be compassionate.  I want to intercede on her behalf, praying for her.  However, it doesn't justify her behavior, and I do not take her behavior personally.

       It is a statement about the victimizer---her, not the person receiv-ing her judgments---me.

       We do not want anyone to treat us as their whipping boy.  Impor-tant to remember we get what we tolerate.  The next time I encounter this woman who attacked me, I will express my feelings.

        All human beings, including myself, must be treated with dignity and respect. That did not happen.

      Those who witnessed her behavior were caught off guard, startled into inaction.  They were   hypoaroused. This will not happen again, they reassured me.

      Being present when we are star-tled reflects personal solid growth. We lean into princi-ples, placing them above the dormant, passive, aggressive or reactive parts of another's personality, or ours.

       Crying is good, too.  I have done this a lot recently, and therapeutic it is.

       We relieve stress and trauma when we do.  Letting joyous tears flow heals us.  When our outsides are congruent with our insides, we enjoy greater serenity.

       Having confidence when experiencing emotional turbulence is a mark of recovery.

      We are present.  We are like an ocean, waves churn within us, but they do not drive us.

      This emotional space allows us to choose our behavior wisely.  We are not stuck with maladaptive behavior that does not move us beyond our problems.

       We are happier when we are authentic. This includes speaking our perspective gently but with confidence.  Others do not need to agree with us.

       It is enough letting others know where we stand in the world, this is being true to ourselves and being    internally referented. 

       We enjoy peace of mind and equanimity when we are comfortable with ourselves, not sacrificing our values.  This is being free from artifice when relating with others.

       It is critical, husbanding our time, guarding it carefully.  The na-ture of the day is to do that which is in active opposition to that which is good.  Time, quickly and frustratingly, can be frittered.

        Many seductive pressures vie for our attention.  They seem urgent but are inconsequential: time spent on the internet, notifi-cations we get on the phone---including texting,  watching TV, binging on Netflix, you get the idea.

       It has been the husbandry of time that keeps me away.  Squirreling away, working on client's cases, writing new material to use at work, or absorbing a good book, Take Your Life Back.  It is revolutionary, clarify-ing why we defeat ourselves and what can be done to enjoy life fully.

       This post is full of gratitude, which is the purpose of this inn of thanks.  But, here's a final one, the following quote.  It intoxicates me:

“There is a relationship between the eye contacts we make and the perceptions we create in our heads, a relationship between the sound of another's voice and the emotions felt in our hearts, a relationship between our movements in space all around us and the magnetic pulls we can create between others and ourselves.

"All of these things (and more) make up the magic of every ordinary day and if we are able to live in this magic, to feel and to dwell in it, we will find our-selves living with magic every day. These are the white spaces in life, the spaces in between the writ-ten lines, the cracks in which the sunlight filters into. Some of us swim in the overflowing of the wine glass of life, we stand and blink our eyes in the sun-light reaching unseen places, we know where to find the white spaces, we live in magic.” 

     This reflects my heart's desire.

     We find our-selves in this state when we are free from mental chatter, worrying about what others think of us or how well we are performing. This blissful state occurs when we are courageous--- at ease with our-selves, free from negative self-judg-ments.   It is in these moments we are authentic, with ourselves, and in our relationships with others.

        I lied.  I said a moment ago I expressed my last gratitude.  Here's one more: being thankful, knowing we are deeply loved by many, especially by the God of our understanding.

        Experiencing this fact at the cellular level allows us to relax into the demands faced daily.  Nothing is too complicated when we are enveloped by love.

        Wishing you a terrific Tuesday; I know mine will be.  Please, I'd love to hear your gratitude.