How are you?Today, I rested. Was it needed. So many good things happen in my life, am I lucky. I met with seven new clients this week. Each session was amazing. I love that I'm able to serve others, continuing my role as an innkeeper, assisting others, especially those mangled by abuse and self-loathing.
I'm bumping up the following post, written last year on the 10th of this month. Let me hear you responses, I value your insights. Here it is:
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The past few months have been inspiring, a time of characterological growth and learning. More importantly, its been a season where I've seen the value of
nurturing the formerly wounded child that once dominated my emotions whenever I felt threatened.
This summer, during intense negative circumstances, I had equanimity.
What a change.
Now, I enjoy peace in areas that once were fraught with fear, especially regions that normally pull on the scabs of traumatic youthful experiences. Now, an affirming love fills the void once occupied by apprehension. My emotional vitality is the fruit of rigorous, disciplined hard work in emotionally unpleasant areas for more than nine years.
In that time, I've planted, grew and nurtured healthy relationships. I sprinkled the seeds of adhering to boundaries and principles. The harvest of emotional ease and safety, knowing closeness and delighting in authentic, intimate relationships----that are not sexualized----allowed intimacy of the soul that few ever know. These steps healed soul sickness that was once plagued me. My emotional belly was sated. It was a relief, being delivered from the mental and emotional disease of codependency, knowing freedom from narcissists and emotional bullies because the growth of my people picker, also known as character discernment.
Emotional maturity is marvelous, making me the happy guy I am. This love, received from God, and the loving community of my family and friends----and I'm not talking about Facebook quality friends, but Balcony People----provides emotional stability, serenity and safety, enabling me to push through arduous, emotionally taxing times.
Something else has helped, too. I'm taking care of my vulnerable self, nurturing and strengthening this part of me, where the younger Pablo still resides. It's disturbing how frequently conditional love is doled out by parents----"if you jump through hoops---- perform "well"----we'll approve of you." Sadly, this is the experience of many, growing up. It was mine.
Doing well in school, sports, playing a musical instrument, success---in whatever way a parent considered "well"----was necessary, if a child was to be praised. Tragically scarring is this mentality. Children unconsciously absorb it, carrying unhealthy beliefs into adulthood, conditioned to constantly seek the approval of others. Many are culturally coerced into this form of codependency, trained to be externally referented. Yes, that is a word. For more about this subject, please read any of these links.
Children, and others, should not be treated like little monkeys wearing flat-topped caps who must dance the dance of performance, before the organ grinder of life feeds them peanuts of praise.
I'm thrilled my sons received a different legacy. They are loved simply because of who they are. That's it. If they never accomplish anything---my love for them would not diminish, the same holds true for my friends. I love them for who they are, frailties, faults and all, not just the positive attributes they don when out in public.
My three sons are cherished unconditionally. The bond we share is my most treasured earthly privilege, along with the relationship I have with a gracious, loving God.
As young man of fourteen, I encountered a gracious, empowering and forgiving God. This is the God I've known ever since. I'm thankful for my walk with Him, without it, I would not be me.
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Those on a boat, overwhelmed by the severe tossing of a hellacious storm, have two responses--- be agitated, distracted, and panic, or keep their cool, and do what's necessary to make it to shore.
Who do you think will be most successful in overcoming the situation? You are right, the one who keeps his wits. This summer, that's been my response when engulfed by upsetting circumstances that forcefully foisted themselves upon my psyche and feelings.
My mantra during difficult seasons of life has been, "Don't think. Just put one foot in front of the other." It works. Am I glad. I accomplish more than I believe possible, when I persevere instead of perseverating.
This happens when I am patient towards my limitations and the characterological areas needing help. When I'm gentle towards myself, challenges can be overcome. I am able to focus on healthy alternatives that transcend vulnerabilities and negative behaviors that once defeated me.
Ya ay!
It feels good, being loved, supported and undergirded by a loving God and good friends---my Balcony People (A different link). It's terrific, finding a safe harbor, moving beyond the rough seas that once tossed and disturbed my serenity and joy.
My Gratitudes for this Lovely Day, 10/12/13
1. I cycled, did errands and shopped, getting things that will make my life better. Can't beat that.
2. I rode my bike.
3. I napped. I was in HALT and halted. I respected and was gentle towards myself.
4. I studied, something I love doing. Preparing for my times with clients is something I love doing; it enriches me, too.
5. I heard an inspiring message from a excellent speaker. What he shared I'll be applying in my life.
6. I'll relax tomorrow, spending time doing something I love.
7. I love priorities and the order they create. They help me to focus on action that will produce the greatest bang for the time I invest.
How About You?
Are you finding yourself at peace with yourself? If so, what helps you to know tranquility?
I'd love hearing from you,
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