Joy Transcending Difficult Circumstances , Dodging an Angry Bull, Part II

       "I feel you are not supporting me."   Here it began.  Love apples were present. They are the faint smile I had while we having our conversation.

        "That's not a feeling,"  I said. "That is a judgment, a faux feeling."

        "Well, that's how I feel." he insisted.  The fun commenced. Welcome to

A Restful, Full, Rich and Special Day, Celebrated With Friends............ 5/28/14

Where we celebrated tonight. 

        A day off from work.  Google surprised me.  A letter from a loved one, making my day.  Calls from family and friends.  An evening in The City (San Fran-cisco).  Heard favorite tunes played on the piano in the Laurel

The Innkeeper Reveals Another Side ................... 5/27/14

       Playing the guitar for a friend.  Singing for an hour-and-a-half, too.  Celebrating the warm weather, shady trees and the day semi-off.  A refreshing departure from my normal routine.

         I worked Monday afternoon. Afterwards, having dinner with a friend.  We dropped by a music store, got a replacement D string and cruised to a local a park in San Leandro.  I surprised my friend, pulling out a

Coping WIth Life's Detours and A Tale of Two People.... 5/25/14

      Catastrophizing is not my thing.  Placing the hap-penstances of  life into God's hands is a better.  It provides the sanity and tran-quility needed to enjoy the present, making the most of life.

My Heart Sings

    Intimacy isn't sex.  Many times sex is the furthest thing from intimacy.  Instead it can devolve into the selfish exploi-tation of another to satisfy our-selves.  Love can wait to give. Lust can't wait to get.

       Being present, vulnerable and relating with others, deeply, is where intimacy is

Character Discernment, Revisited ................... 5/23/14

Ladies, calm down. No, 
this isn't a picture of me.

     In a recent post (See here.) I wrote:

"As we grow in our relational skills, we see difficulties as opportunities which allow us to do spiritual weight lifting. We exercise the inner strength we have that is the result of applying

A Desired Fulfilled and Staying In the Solution .......... 5/20/14

Now, this is my kind of serenity.

       Today, a desire was fulfilled.  As worn out as I am, seeing something coming about---that I've been dreaming about for more than two years---puts a smile on my tired face.

       I'm thrilled!

       I pushed today, to make this hope happen.  Monday was a killer.  I ended up being depleted, emotionally and physically.  But what keeps me going is loving life and setting the course of my future.

******

 

    A difficult client, a rare occurrence for me, is helping me grow.   At least once every five minutes, or less---when with this person---I fantasize about ending the relationship.

                 I can no longer help you as I once did.

       Yes, I flirt with firing this person.  I've learned, that unless destitute, working with unpleasant people is unnecessary.  No need for torture.   I will not exhaust my emotional capital.

       As the Attitude of Gratitude guy---who sees everything from a positive point of view---working with this guy stretches me.  Standing my ground, exercising boundaries, practicing patience, is what takes place.

         I don't ply my trade with people who perpetually place themselves in the victim mode, which this person is good at.  Presenting ourselves this way prevents us from seeing our contribution.

 "Acting like a victim is a  choice, not a destiny."                          Hope for Today, p 189.

       He irritates when he says, "I don't think you understand that........"   Then why see me?   I find this comment similar to finding my car stuck behind a double parked vehicle on a narrow, busy street, in San Francisco, and waiting for fifteen cars in the next lane to pass by, before getting around this vehicular dilemma.

       Last session, I asked if his past efforts have been ineffective. "No," he said.  I suggested we needed to move away from such efforts. We cannot become the person we want to be, by behaving the way we always have.

       He craves revisiting past miseries. That doesn't  work for me.  Focusing on our travails only make these moments loom larger and more disturbing.

      "We will only talk about a problem once.  After that, I will not hear any more about it," I said.   He wore a stunned look.  His eyes blinkingly looked up, with disbelief, while keeping his head down.

       "From then on, we will only talk about the solutions to that problem," I continued.

       For the rest of our session, we looked at healthy, practical alternatives that helped overcome a vexing problem of his.  Depression.  At the end of the session he was happier and felt lighter.

My Gratitudes:
1.  For the strength to hold on to my convictions, regardless of the pressure or persuasions thrown my way.
2.  For seeing my client move beyond victimhood.
3.  For expressing my voice, not giving in to someone who tried to get his way by bullying.

How About You?
What are your three gratitudes for today? 

The Week in Review: Perspective From an Exhausted Innkeeper ....5/19/14

      I'm weary, worn to the bone.  Putting in a long day of work will do that.  After seeing four clients, I went to a restaurant, sitting at a booth, adding notes to their files, until 11:00.  I'm still there.

      Perspective is important.  Each new week is a mini-milestone.  They prompt me to review how I adapted to the high and low tides of  the previous week.

Highs:
1.  I said my no as gently as my

My Acquaintance Isn't God and Neither Am I ....5/18/14

   
      Do you believe you are God?

******

      For a moment there, I was worried. I would get a bucket of water and ask you to stand on it and not get your feet wet. I am relieved you do not think you are the Almighty. I am not God, either. I'm glad that fact is settled.

      Someone I've seen for more than

Our Ideal Self Isn't, Part II ............. 5/16/14

     Thursday, I slaved away, writing material for five hours that I used that night.  I feel good about it.  However,  I struggled with how the client received the material.

     I don't want ideas taken in, cognitively.  That is what happened Thursday evening.  Not good, bothering me, alot.  It's easy to learn, but not really live it---not know it