Overcoming Negative Feelings, Getting Back to Calmness............... 1/31/22

    I've been wiped out.  

    No, not with Co-vid, but with a cold.  It subdued my usu-ally positive feelings and point of view. 

    I sat with these negative emotions.  I discovered this past week, my adolescent days were not over.  I slept more in the past two weeks than I have in more than 40 years, 10-14 hours at a time. 

    My emotions were at a low ebb.  An unusual feeling for this innkeeper of this abode of gratitude. I am always happy, the result of eighteen years of working hard on my personal growth. 

    Feelings are not facts.  My being in a blah state revealed a physical issue, not a mental one.  I couldn't think.

    What I went through did not exhibit depression.  Even though my body breathed, I emotionally limped as if despair filled my body.  In truth, overwhelmed and wiped out, my mortal frame could not hold anything positive in nature.  

 

     Once my health turned a corner----I started coughing less---my mood picked up. 

    Deleterious for our soul when heeding false beliefs.   My funk needed time and patience.  With better health, my spirit returned to its normal happy self. 

    Previously, with all the convulsive coughing, sneezing taking place for more than a week, especially when I slept, I became delirious.  That happens when lacking rest.  If you addressed me as the queen of Eng-land I'd believe you, last week. 

   

    What prompted me to plod on with the work before me while ill was a saying mixing a Scriptural truth with a recovery perspective. "All things work together for good for those who take the next right step."  It motivated me when life moved last week at a snail's pace.

    Lately, that meant slowing down not being productive.  It required sleeping a lot.  Quite a different mentality from my driven, younger self. 

    For now, I'm not motivated or disciplined.  That's okay.  I've made peace with my unproductive self. 

     Last week, I had no choice.  I have had the energy of a limp rag.  

    

     Knowing I have worth for simply being me helps remind me to relax.  Enjoy-ing life requires being present, delighting in each breath and moment of silence. 

     We do not need to perform.  Instead, we want to live our lives out of the fullness of all the richness we already have: good friends, treasured memories, talents, and the gifts we have. 

     Unfortunately, many of us live from a sense of neediness: we believe we must impress and prove ourselves.  

     If we think we must be more than we are to be accepted, we believe we are not good enough. 

     Not true. 

     I remembered during my illness to deliberately link positive truths about myself to the negative thoughts assaulting me while emotionally, mentally, and physically devastated.  This becomes resourcing, an in-credible exercise when we feel overwhelmed or face dread. 

    My value never becomes based on what I do but on who I am.

    While wading through the slough of despond the past few weeks, I recalled to my body, not my mind---for 15 seconds the many excellent qualities I have when my mind wanted to drift and wade into despair. 

Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputa-ble, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse.  Philippians  4:8

    When following these instructions, calmness resided within my thoughts.  The roaring, agitated, fearful limbic system became tranquil.  I enjoyed vertical integration and deep peace of mind. 

    Which allowed me to have an Attitude of Gratitude.