Today Is A Big Day 3/13/21

      Today is special. 

      It is the 10th anniversary when this place opened.  Thank you for popping in, joining the innkeeper as we cele-brate this milestone.  So many things have happened during this time. 

      I'm older.  Hopefully wiser.  Tend-ing this place stretches me.  

      I've grown in expressing my

A Big Day...... 3/13/20

   Thank you, for crossing the threshold of this inn, joining me on this special occasion, celebrating a milestone the next few days.

    It is a big day today.  This is the ninth birthday of this inn of praise.  My, what has transpired since this place of gratitude opened it's doors.

    Visitors from around the world have warmed the rooms of this inn.  The tally in the top

Balcony People and Taking Care of Ourselves......: 9/7/12

Balcony People Prevent Us From Falling

       Receiving amaz-ing, beyond belief, support is hearten-ing.

      Major but scary areas in our lives can confronted when given this assistance.  We can enjoy little, but significant victories.  It is the little foxes that ruin the vineyards of life.

      These foxes can be captured, returned to their natural habitat.  This reduces the terror they can create.

        Loving letters from friends bolster our re-solve.

        Supportive phone calls lift us up.  Empathy lets us know we are not alone during tough times.  When needed, keeping good company helps us make it through the day.  It is a bridge that gets us over difficult moments.

       This loving support makes it possible to move forward.  No man is an island. Confronting challenges is easier when taking them one day at a time.  Sometimes, when situations are especially rough, it is better overcoming them fifteen minutes at a time.

       Taking life's dark moments in small increments help us to stay present.  It is less likely we will be overwhelmed.  We are confounded when we try to take on the entire elephantine nature of a problem.  Approaching it in bite-sized portions is emotionally easier on the psyche.  It is even easier when our Balcony People are at our side, rooting us on.

       Balcony People stick by us. They lift us up, after being sucker punched by the unexpected vicissitudes of life.  This is when we are thankful for the support we get when we have a supportive network.

       We learn from the experience, strength and hope of our good friends.  Their smiles, wisdom and compassion provide the connection needed.  During the stressful seasons of life---when we falter, they, our Balcony People, lift us up.

       They uphold us as we place one unsteady foot in front of the other.  Sharing their experience, strength and hope with us is invaluable. You might want to read here, for more about this critical source of support.

       Wonderful con-versations with a family member or connecting with others committed to our welfare heals emotional bruises.  These sores accu-mulate quickly when we are trying to grow.

       These bruises may pop up when we face an unpleasant task. This may happen when we take gigantic steps in our growth. One source of healing during these stretching times is giving ourselves credit.  When trying to grow, often we are facing our fears.  Or we may be overcom-ing old scars.

       When addressing daunting issues, we are taking care one of the most important persons in our lives.  Ourselves.  During stressful times, we need to take whatever steps are necessary to treat ourselves with care.

       This means Quiet Time.

       When we apply this time, we are taking care of yours truly.  Eating healthy meals.   Exercising.  Sleeping well may be what is needed to take off the edge of demanding days.

Listening to music, being with friends and making time for fun (even if we don't feel like it) are ad-ditional ways of nurturing ourselves.  Such action is critical when facing dis-tasteful, scary, circum-stances.

       Caring for ourselves in this loving way, being gentle towards ourselves, is the antidote to pres-sure.  It is a terrific tonic for tension.

       During stressful times this is when we need to especially focus on our needs. We have to be at our best.  This is possible when we nurture our souls. We become strong-er when we give attention to our physical needs.  We are the only person on earth who can make our welfare our number one priority.

      We accomplish this by connecting with our network of good com-pany.  We will also have greater success during life's crucible moments when we slow down to tend to ourselves.

How About You? 
1. How have you received support this week?
2. Has there been an area in your life where you are experiencing more clarity?

Hope For Dark Times, Part III ...............................7/15/12

“Laugh, even when you feel too sick or too worn out or tired. 
Smile, even when you're trying not to cry
 and the tears are blurring your vision. 
Sing, even when people stare at 
you and tell you your voice is crappy. 

God Does the Work, All We Do Is Ask ............... 7/20/11

        Areas in our lives improve when we turn them over to God.  Progress is not a matter of working harder. Nor is it a result of thinking positively, despite what the self-help book proclaim.  Sorry, Oprah, Robert Schuller,Tony Robbins and Norman Vincent Peale. Our best efforts and thinking brought us to the state where we find ourselves.

        Life improves when we rely upon God.  We need His transforming power.  We get better when He works in the vulnerable areas of our lives.  He helps us transcend weaknesses.

     There's no humility in self-will.  How often we say, "I'll do this and I'll do that," without taking a moment to consider what God wants

Expressing Feelings. Life is Our Spiritual Practice 5/3/11

      Once again, welcome to my guests from Germany and Malaysia, thanks for dropping by. I love it when readers share their gratitudes. Doing so meets my need for reciprocity, mutuality and community.
Gratitudes for Today:
1. Delighting in a fantastic lunch with a friend, was one of today's pleasures. It wasn't the food, that was terrific,.it was our conversation. He's a fellow left-handed person; I like his global, non-linear thinking; it refreshes my soul; I enjoy connecting with him; his perspective enlarges my vision of life and possibilities.
2. I'm thankful for the healing I partake in as a result of bonding with dear ones. Relating with friends makes it possible for me to detach from others who aren't healthy for my emotional or mental well-being.
3. I enjoy the posts you leave behind---it helps me to know you better.
4. I got in a three mile walk today. I hiked it to where I met my friend John for lunch. I'm glad I got some additional exercise and was able to catch some rays.

There is much beauty in seemingly simple things, like this wall

5.  Today's weather was fantastic---in the mid seventies. Walking through town provides artistic sights I miss when driving my car. I can be captivated by simple things----brick walls, wild flowers, watching how another person walks. All of life has its unique beauty.
Life is Our Spiritual Practice
       I met with a client yesterday, in the evening. Seeing her progress is one of thing that makes life fulfilling. It's easy for us to slip into black and white, dogmatic thinking. How sad it is when we are trapped within rigid thinking.  We discussed ways we can prevent being that way. 

     We looked at the challenges she has with roommates as her present spiritual practice. We spent time looking at how she express herself, using nonviolent communication, how she relates with her housemates, letting them know her feelings, needs and requests. She's growing more than she was meditating in a cave, somewhere in the desert.  We discussed having serenity and thriving, even in the midst of  chaos.

Yes, it's possible. I know it in my life, even when the squalls of life slap my face with the waves of unpleasantries and intense stressful moments.  It was refreshing see her enthusiasm, after our time was up.

6. I'm thankful for the work I do and humbled that I'm able to help others in their journeys through life.

7. I'll meet with a group of friends at 7:30 p.m. I value the support I experience when we're together.  
     I'll meet a colleague there and we'll talk about prenatal depression, a subject I'm unable to discuss with most people. With two others, I'll process legal challenges I'm facing due to a former unscrupulous employer; these friends have the legal expertise, am I glad.
     I appreciate my friends availability.  It's terrific knowing I'm not dealing with a multitude of issues alone. I'm not superman, nor will I ever be, nor do I want to be. Being vulnerable and not hiding within the coffin of self-protection allows me to laugh all my laughter and cry all my tears.

******************************************

Expressing Feelings
     I made time in the mid-afternoon to study---I invested in myself.  I reviewed material that reminded me how we can express feelings in a way that's constructive, helpful and affirming while still taking care of our needs. Ongoing practice of these skills is necessary if they are to be a regular part of my life. I was reminded:

      1. Often what we think is expressing our feelings is really expressing judgment.  Example: " I feel you are disrespectful." 
        That's more a statement of what we believe that person has done to us, shown us disrespect, than a statement of our feelings, sadness, anger, resentment, etc. The above statement is a judgment. Which leads to another point that's important for us to be mindful of....
      2. Judgments make people uncomfortable. They are heard as criticism. It's much better for us to express the need that is underneath our feelings. To continue with the example above:Example:  "I'm uncomfortable, because whenever I talk, I'm unable to finish my sentences. I value open communication and equality.  Would it be possible for you to hear me completely, before you replying?"                   
      3. Whenever a pronoun follows the word feel, we are expressing a thought. Same with the word "that."
 E.g.,      "I feel she is....,"  "I feel that...."
         Whatever follows will not be the expression of our feelings. Anyway, I love this sort of stuff. For more information about nonviolent communication, click here and here,
and lastly,  here too
Antidotes for Bitterness
      I met with a dear friend yesterday. We discussed how we can overcome, bitterness. Bitterness, it has been said, is a poison pill we swallow, hoping it will kill the person that we're upset with. It's good to remember that....

"We can't hold a person down without staying down with him." 

                                                                Booker T. Washington.

      The antidote is a combination of  exercising forgiveness and using boundaries. Forgiveness is the bolt cutter that frees us from the handcuffs that bitterness creates, that attach us to the source of that vexes us.

     We reduce the likelihood of bitterness, when we take care of ourselves, doing things that nurture us, when we are in difficult straits that can overwhelm us with bitterness or despair.

      There are steps which can alleviate stress and strengthen us as we go through life's crucible moments. Paradoxically, when under pressure, we often neglect the need for extra sleep, relating with friends, or eating healthy food. We don't make time to exercise regularly. It's during time like these that we it's great to halt,  pray, meditate and have Quiet Time---spending time alone with God.

               Here's to having a great and grateful Wednesday,