Reflections As Another Year Passes: Grateful for a Satisfying Life. (Also more questions from the innkeeper.) ...........................................5/23/11

      Welcome to the visitors from Indonesia, Malaysia and Germany. Now, it's time for me to fess up. This upcoming Saturday is my birthday. Part of my growth as an adult is letting others know the date. Keeping it a secret was my MO. I've gotten beyond that. Now, I celebrate the day I entered this world with others. I'll spend this upcoming Saturday with some of the gang that I mention in this blog. All three sons will be with me along with

Wealthy Beyond Measure: Stress Free, Too .5/22/11

“Abundance does not consist in how

 much we have, but in how much

 we enjoy.”

 

     Good evening, everyone,
How was your weekend? Yesterday, my sons, a friend, and I were immersed in nature all day. At Sunol Regional Wilderness Park, near Niles Canyon, south of Pleasanton.  My sons, along with a friend I've known for fourteen years, and I hiked. For more than two hours, alternatingly

Resting Before Tomorrow's Event

We'll hike out here, tomorrow. This is Sunol Regional Park

        Good evening everyone,

  How are my Silent Readers doing? Welcome to the readers from Malaysia and Germany, thanks for dropping by.  I'm posting my gratitudes before the day converts to Saturday. I've added an index to this place. I'll leave you with the following quotes.

“Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections.”

This following statement motivates us to develop our network of Balcony People (if you want to know more about them click on the purple link); there are plenty of benefits

Expressing Feelings Part II 5/20/11

        It great when we express our feelings in a way that's constructive, helpful and affirming while still taking care of our needs. Ongoing practice of these skills helps if they are to become a regular part of our life.  We want to be mindful that:

      1. Often what we think of as expressing our feelings is really a judgment.  Example: " I feel you are disrespectful."   That's more a statement of what we believe

The Life Changing Power of Affirmation....... 5/20/11

      Have you thank-ed someone today?

      Who is someone you are grateful for?  Can you think of anybody who believ-ed in you, cheering you on when you were at a low ebb?  Stop for a moment and think whom that could be.........

      I'm mindful of Mr Al. Tafoya.  He was my fifth-grade teacher. The only Hispanic teacher I ever had.  From the state of New Mexico, he was.  One day he asked me to stay in class after dismissing the other students for recess.

       The words he spoke that day have stuck with me.  To this very day.  I didn't expect them.  He was scary.  No, not because he had an eye in the back of his head or anything like that.

       He was the best and most demanding teacher at Vallejo Mills Elementary.  He taught accelerated classes.  For nerds like me.  If anyone in his class spoke without permission, they were in trouble.

         Once I asked a fellow student, David, who sat next to me if  I could borrow his eraser during an exam.  Mr. Tafoya took my test.  He gave me an F.  For me, it was F for frustration.  He didn't ask why I spoke.  I cried.  Only the second time I did at school.

        The day he asked me to stay after class, I nervously waited.  I shifted in my wooden seat.

        Outside, students could be heard, yelling.  Some played tether ball, four square.  Many ran around the field.  Hearing the commotion outside, I longed to be with them.

        Instead, I was trapped with bald-pated, non-smiling Mr. Tafoya.  The excited voices of the pupils outside and the stir on the playground, were immediately silenced when he finally spoke.

       Stunned, by his surprising words, I was.  He encouraged me.  'You are my best student," he said. "That couldn't be," I thought. The other students were brainy; I didn't even wear glasses.

        "But I get in fights. I am in the Principal's office often.  Others in class use fancier words than me. They are sons of doctors, lawyers and engineers."

        "Yes," he replied,  "but they don't read about Plato, Aristotle, Dante or the speeches of great men."  He knew my reading choices because of the books I bought from the Scholastic Book Club.  His words surprised and encouraged me.

        Since that day, attending school became something I look forward to.  His words reinforced confidence in my ability to think and express myself on paper.  They still do.  I am happiest when researching, more than anything else.  Studying relaxes me.

      After our visit, I was a motivated.  I became an even more disciplined student.  In the fifth grade, I studied until 2:00 a.m.  I liked getting good grades.  At the time I didn't realize I was externally referented.

      It would be years before I was freed from this disease. Then, academic success provided encouragement.  That was something rarely gotten from parents busy attending to six kids.

     This drive for excellence in studies lasted through junior high, high school and college.  I love learning, even now.  My efforts were bolstered by Mr Tafoya's encouraging words that day.  I was emboldened by his belief in me, a confused kid with a crew cut.  What a difference one person can make.

      So, Mr. Tafoya---wherever you are---thank you for encouraging an insecure, struggling ten-year-old.  I'm grateful for the gift you gave that day.  You instilled the desire to believe, not only in my abilities but in myself.

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      This is the Attitude of Gratitude Inn. Here, we exercise thankfulness muscles, sharing the gratitudes that fill our hearts. Doing so is a wonderful antidote to the negativity that can easily invade our souls. 

      The news bombards us with bleak information. I prefer lighting a candle, instead of cursing darkness.  I keep my face towards the sun. I focus on the blessings I receive from God and the love I enjoy from friends and family.

      Just for today, would you mind sharing about one person that you are grateful for?

      It would be wonderful if you shared about someone who made a difference in your life. Please include details, that made this person influential.  That would be terrific.  Would it be possible to introduce this person, who had a strong impact upon you?

Gratitudes from the Innkeeper

My gratitudes for today:

1. I finally got my problem with the DMV straightened out.Ya ay!  I was so grateful, that I offered to take the supervisor who helped me, out for dinner. I appreciate the freedom I have that allows me to go wherever I want, whenever I want----a bit of independence that's easy to take for granted. I'm not old, yet, but eventually most seniors reach a point when they no longer can drive.That's a several decades away, but it is a good thing to be thankful.
2. I went grocery shopping, after my trip to the DMV. I'm into healthy food. I'm glad that I was able to get what I need to make nutritious, SSS meals.
3. My baseball team won tonight. They're in first place. They're hanging in there, even though they aren't scoring many runs. It's the superb pitching they have, that's contributing to their success. I enjoy celebrating life's little joys. As you know, my team are the world champions, even though we only play Major League Baseball in the U.S. and Canada.
4. My middle son and I had a good visit this morning. I love his personality and the open interaction we share. We were able to discuss goals he might want to pursue. I value his open-minded attitude and connection we share with each other. 
5. In the early evening, my youngest son and I were able to visit. He's the musician among my sons. Being that I'm a musician, we were able to discuss music and catch up with each other. We are going to do something next weekend, as a family.  I look forward to the time we'll share.My sons are my number one priority, other than my relationship with God.
6. I'm happy to see positive outcomes for the work I do. I got a e-mail from a client last night. She's noticing big changes in her life, due to the time we've spent. It's been three months. I tell all my clients that their desire to get better has to be stronger than my desire to help them. Otherwise, I can't assist them. To push a person along in their personal growth is untenable; it's also would make me a codependent, something I don't care to be.

      Okay, you've heard my gratitudes. Would it be possible for me to hear yours? It would meet my need for equality, reciprocity, mutuality and fellowship. 

      Here's to having a terrific Thursday,

Calmness in the Eye of an Emotional Storm, II ......... 5/19/11

I'm thankful for life giving principles that allow me to stand firm, regardless of the pressures surging around me.

    Good morning everyone,

I came across this article, this morning. There's hope for me, I'm happy to say. I love languages and speak and read in a few of them; I always held there was value in learning them. My favorite is Classical Greek, an extremely precise language. I hope you enjoy the following link:  Click here.   Research is keeping me busy this morning, I like it.  Maybe a reader can tell me what the writer in the above link means by "learning a language as a discreet subject."

       Most of you know the routine in this inn. I ask readers to share their gratitudes. If you'd share three, I'd be  a happy innkeeper. But, if you are new to this place, I'll settle for one. So, that's the deal for today.

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       I've been having the unhappy circumstance of relating with a person who is frantic and under tremendous stress. A lot of my training, as a child and adolescent, conditioned me to want to placate others; 

Spiritual Weightlifting, (The beginning of several regarding this subject. Here, We'll Cover Responding, Not Reacting) .. 5/18/11

 This is a view of the Fremont Hills. I grew up in this area, so did my sons.
  I lived right where the rainbow ends. I'm not kidding., in the town of Niles.

      I got together with others last night. It's nice hearing their successes, hope and experiences dealing with life's challenges. There were ideas expressed I can use. It's comforting, hanging out with others who express things we think, but are afraid to say..  It's reassuring knowing there  face similar circumstances. We are not alone.

     My gratitudes for today:

1.  It's great having a community of friends where we can be who are, good or bad, up or down, emotionally, and still be loved.
2. My middle son and I visited, yesterday and today, at length. Talking heart-to-heart is fulfilling. Connecting with another person is one of the richest times we can have. Having healthy relationships invigorates our soul.

    Behold, how good and pleasant it is when brothers dwell in unity!  Psalms 133:1

3. This morning I received good wishes from friends I've known since high school----my birthday is fast approaching. Experiencing kindness from them is heart-warming.
4. I celebrate that my provision comes from God. My job and my paychecks are not my source of  provision.

Spiritual Weightlifting

        I'm thankful for the healing power that a sense of humor has, when we experience tough times. When we exercise healthy principles, including mirth, instead of worrying or being upset---during stressful moments---we strengthen ourselves, emotionally. We're detaching, with love, from the situation. Doing so, gives us perspective. We are doing spiritual weightlifting.

        I'm grateful that, when tempted to say something regrettable,  we can use tempered, gracious responses. Reacting, would be blurting out the venom of sarcasm or judgment towards those who trouble us, or passively yielding to the blame or shame others would want us to wear. Today I succeeded. I didn't react. Whew! It was close----I'm happy I kept my mouth shut. It's easier doing so when we no longer allow others to define who we are nor determine our moods.

       It's easier doing so when we maintain our conscious contact with God, asking Him for His will, and the power to carry it out. I find it amazing that, in the Bible, God never uses shame, guilt or sarcasm to motivate us. It's pretty obvious why. God is Love. Love doesn't treat us in this way.  God will never stoop to that level, to motivate us, nor do we want to cheapen ourselves by acting this way, either. It helps us when we  learn to be happy when cruel people get mad at us---their reaction means we must be doing something right---we're not following their values. :->

       Even though others may disappoint us, it's our responsibility to deal with it. Our happiness is not contingent upon those wronging us, apologizing.  Please let me know what you think about this subject and what fills your heart with gratitude today.

Life is Our Spirtual Practice Part 2 ( However, breathing deeply might cause problems---see below.) ...................................................5/17/11

No, this is not a picture of me

    
     Good evening everyone,

How are things going for you?  Monday, was an opportunity to practice patience in my relationship  with others and myself. I felt like I was in a game show that tests your perseverance. I was in one of the least desired places in the world to be stuck in a box----no, not a mortuary, but the box of a building that houses the DMV I visited.  I've been resolving an issue since Friday.

       I spent six hours Friday, and one hour yesterday. I'm hoping everything will be solved, soon. My time at the DMV is my spiritual practice for now. (See this post, for more info.)  It was a Catch 22 situation, with a bit of torture, managerial rudeness, time pressure, frustration, impersonal technology and compassion, all rolled into one experience.

       I was deflated----emotionally----after my trips to this agency. What happens to people who don't speak English as their first language, cannot enunciate clearly, don't have access to the internet, don't have a cell phone and don't have time to spend eight hours to solve a problem regarding registration? 

      Even with all the resources needed to handle this problem, I  was unable to get anything solved. I was the last person in the building yesterday. The security guard stood next to me, seeing to it that I leave;  while a supervisor assisted me as I followed phone prompts about processing my problem on my cell phone.

      I left the building ("Now serving G453, now serving G453, at window number eight. Now serving....") with my problem in the same condition as last Friday.  All these problems were a result because I wasn't allowed to pay a fourteen dollar fee in person at this agency.  I had all the paperwork taken care of.However, I was instructed. I needed to do something that could only be done online or on the phone. At this point my situation deteriorated.

      The phone tree was worse than awful, worse than having a root canal done, worse than being in a psychiatric hospital, worse than being mugged at knife point by three teenage boys, all experiences of mine. (I worked in a sub-acute psychiatric hospital for nine years, as a psychiatric rehab therapist..)  While tackling the perplexing phone promptings, "please state the last five digits of your Vehicle Identifications number or say "I don't have it..."What was that you said? I didn't quite get that?" I took a deep breath. A mistake.

      My breathing strongly caused the call to return  to the beginning of the prompting menu. "If you want to hear your instructions in English, please press one, if in Spanish, please press 2...." At this point, I wanted my car to roll over the phone, and end my misery; but, I remembered it was my cell phone.  As I mentioned yesterday in gratitude number five, my faith was being exercised and I was provided an opportunity to practice patience.

      The pouring rain in the Bay Area, the past few days reflected the chill and bleakness I've encountered with the DMV. Monday, after my visit there, I melted, not in rage but in frustration. That's not a common occurrence. Yes, I was kind to the clerks and supervisors.  I knew it wasn't their fault. But I was spent, emotionally, just the same. 

      So, how was your day?

       Let me know your thoughts.

Emerging from Confusion:The value of walking a spiritural path. Gaining an encouraging perspective during trying times 5/11/11

      Hey, can you tell me what you are thankful for? What are things that make your heart sing with praise?  Hearing your encouraging words uplifts my spirit.  

     Going through a good time, addressing important priorities, getting them resolved, is heartening. Such has been the recent case for me.  There was a period, a week and a half, earlier, where I faced plenty of uncertainties