I'm wiped out.For nearly two months my tranquility has been in-vaded. By a persistent pest. Circumstances never faced before are making the idea of spending time in a padded room attractive. My privacy has been overrun by others only thinking of themselves.
One person, in particular, does not get it. She does not see how her behavior harms
me. I expressed my need for tranquility, ease and peace of mind.
She doesn't recognize her impact upon me. No, it isn't my mother. :->
I asked for sensitivity and consideration. It is like speaking to a Martian. That is how well she understands. What is disturbing is that I cannot escape her being with me.
What do we do when our equilibrium is challenged?
How do we handle intrusions that seem beyond bearing? It is no fun being as worn down as a set of ten-year-old tires. How do we keep our sanity when there is no respite in sight?
You know what helps reduce our tension? Expressing what is groaning within. Emptying out what churns within. We may not be able to control circumstances. But recovery teaches us we can control how we respond to them.
We can respond to stress by having fun with friends. Not connect-ing with those who care for us is as helpful as storing water in a bucket with no bottom.
Relating with our community of friends is one antidote when life is unmanageable. It is a tonic for the spirit.
Recently, I celebrated a birthday. I partied with my friends. Dur-ing the occasion I was loved. The time was filled with laughter, warmth and authenticity. It was a tension-free zone for five hours.
The celebration restored my soul.
Playing the guitar, spending eve-nings writing, empty-ing our thoughts are additional ways of taking care of ourselves. These actions fill our love bank. They are actions important to do when we are emotionally bank-rupt.
Will we feel better? Will our situation get better? Yes and no. Constant weariness is tough on the soul. But progress, not perfection is better than no progress at all.
Our head while enduring a demanding season can experience a dull, gray throb. I am having migraine headaches during my recent difficult times. Our food may not taste as good when we are on sensory overload. It can be hard, appreciating what we eat.
Are we complaining when we notice what is happening to us, when stressed?
No. We are simply inventorying what life is dishing out. Doing so helps us figure out what action we want to take. We may want to recognize we are in HALT. Instead of being hungry, we may be hurting, hemorrhaging. Our equanimity, that is.
But only when we lean into them. The only way out is through.
Courage faces what trou-bles us. It is the only way of mastering the buggering devils. Slow is the pace of personal growth.
Like a scar gradually fading is our recovery. But eventually---incrementally---healing takes place. Our character, along with confi-dence, grows. Healing takes place within.
But know this, with recovery, we would not trade our lives for any other. Our life become richer. We enjoy being present. This is better than living in our heads. Recovery is better than staying within walls that prevent us from truly enjoying life.
With recovery, we discover the beautiful texture of life.
Life's detours and hardships cause us to stumble upon amazing introspective vistas. Applying recovery, we experience a strength developing within us. It could not have been gotten any other way but through hard times. Using healthy principles, instead of fear, steel enters our soul when enduring trials.
We are better prepared for future challenges.
We are less easily shaken. We now know how to routinely stand our ground, when difficulties arrive. We live more completely and authentically. And for this, we will have an Attitude of Gratitude.
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3 comments:
Hi Innskeeeper,
I am sorry you are being worn down ;(. To one who gives so much, this is sad. Hopefully there will be a turnaround.
For weeks it has been preparations for Graduations....my son's, the 8th Graders at my school, and our dear friend's son's. He attended a different high school for his senior year. I was so excited to get a last minute invite to his Graduation, along with my son. Ahhh the excitement, the wonder of the future for all of the graduates. And then saying goodbye to my little ones who move on to 1st Grade....some I have had for 2 years ;) being in a different classroom last year. Very special and emotional. Summer, although busy always brings a change of pace for me. Today was lovely to spend the morning having a treat at Starbucks with a lovely gift card from one of the families and sharing it with my son. Then, I said, why don't I give you a driving lesson ;)? It was fun and I was patient ;) as it is a 5 speed ;).
wcp ;)
Dear Pablo,
I am so amazed to hear how you are handling such trying times, with such patience, grace and maturity. I am reminded to appreciate all that I have even during hard times- ESPECIALLY during hard times. You have also reminded me to make it a point to empty out my feelings and emotions with others who are safe or to do it through other avenues such as writing.
Dear Pablo-Inn Keeper: I have in front of me a migraine treatment plan. It is from a neurologist and looks very effective. If you would like, I can fax it to you. I hope you get through this trying situation soon. Lynne
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